h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

* sighs *

* sighs, again *

* sighs yet again, this time mainly for effect *

For the few on-line who have read my last best seller...

* mental note to self : update to an electronic version *

... I made a point of saying 'Beware false phrophets'. Isn't it bad enough I have to put up with every lunatic 'fundamentalist', carrying a Gideons and waving a gun flagrantly about, subverting my message. Now, I have people comparing me to a brownie ! Do I look like an inbetween meal snack ? Do I get about in a skirt, in pigtails, selling cookies ?

* Curiously, you hear a tumultous rumble of thunder, though there's not a cloud in the sky to see *

Well, I've just aquired some legal advice. Shortly after my son 'rumbled' a few stalls in the great Jewish temple, he took out copyright out on all of the Churches intellectual & meta-physical assets.

So, unless you want to deal with the best lawyers money can't buy. I suggest you add an addendum to your texts stating 'No consent has been obtained from MY church....'

- Irascible ? I'll give you IRASCIBLE!!!!

But alas I have been blessed by the appearance of the Brownie! Unless this is one of those cases where you are working in the proverbial "mysterious ways", I feel that it is my duty to follow the teachings of the Brownie. However the fact that I follow the Brownie in no way diminishes the vallidity of any other teachings. I myself am a member of yet another church the Church of the True Weevil. Indded it is something of a splinter organization to that of my own. Please let me know what you feel about this as I am eager to know. Thank You. -Archbishop Marv

* Mubbles something about incorrigable Seven Day Dentists *

It's not without precedence, I suppose, that one should be visited by the spirit of a brownie, what with the Irish Labourer in the last century who was roundly convinced that an old brown shoe, to have the face of the Messiah... (but, their a simple lot up there)

It might be my Son playing about, he is in what might be considered in human developement, the difficult 'teenage' years. Honestly, he plays his ecclesiastical music so loud he wakes up the former dead. What one has to look out for when you have had a religious experience, is that the 'man-down-stairs' isn't to blame; or even worse, another sacred deity.

In terms of fracturing religions, I didn't choose the analogy for my followers of a my 'Flock of Sheep' without good reason. People think of sheep as mindless drones, obediently following orders, but if you have ever looked after sheep, you will know they scatter like marbles on a glass table top; and you need more than a 'Jack-Russell' to find them.

- Chairman, Heaven.Inc

Well I have great hopes that we can go on our paths amicably. I would hate to disband my loyal followers. They are a great bunch. Might you be interested in looking at our activities??? -Archbishop Marv

Dear Sir;

I wrote a Guide entry about you not too long ago, there's a link from my page, do me a favour and check it out.

Might I inquire as to which sir you refer?