h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Golf and the Great Equipment Debate - A5078379
Author: lachlanjk - U1837982

In an attempt to be mildly interesting...

Hello lachlanjk,

Nice Entry . This is one of your first attempts, right?
The problem - in my humble opinion - is that reads more like an Article than a Guide Entry.

I hope you don't get demotivated by the following comments. There is good material in this Entry, however it does need, in my opinion, some polishing.


Specific suggestions and comments:

Maybe giving a short summary in the beginning could help readers like me. For example: "There has been an ongoing debate about the pros and cons of modern golf gear... This Entry tries to sum up a few arguments that have been produced so far..."


First person is an Edited Guide 'no-no' (Read more about this in the specific section of the <./>Writing-Guidelines</.&gt. The sentence "Whilst I have heard it postulated..." has to be reformulated to something in the lines of "Rumours go that the very earliest..."

Be easier on your readers - I know nothing about golf... For example:

- What are "niblicks" and "mashies" (I think it would be perfectly allright and still get the point across if you moved that part after scotsman to a footnote or even dropped it altogether - but this is just me.

- What is 'the Augusta' (the rules of golf?)

- "Now however this means moving back the tee boxes, narrowing fairways, planting trees and adding fairway bunkers between 300 and 350 yards from the tee." What for? I didn't understand that passage.


If you want more comments and/or help just shout!

Good luck!

HELL

Duly noted and much appreciated.

Is it appropriate or indeed advisable to make alterations to the article as per the comments offrered?

Making alterations to your entry as per the comments offered is the whole point of PR If you disagree with any of the comments, however, don't be afraid to say so! It's still *your* entry and if you don't want it changed, don't change it (although if you don't make any of the suggested changes, its chances of becoming edited are slim, but it's up to you).

Well, then my task is set. I shall change it, and what's more I shall change it according to the comments!

Thanks for your help.

Oh and um... nice panda...

LJK

How's it going? You going to make those changes to the entry?

Kat

Author has elvised - Flea Market?

seconded

HELL

Thirded.

Ok - added to list.