h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Why is it that on any given train, plane, or bus, I always end up sitting next to one of the two evils:
1) The person who has yet to discover the wonders of deodorant/perfume/cologne or a really frequent shower; or
2) The man/woman who HAS discovered the wonders of perfume/colonge but has insisted on marinating in it?

One thing that used to knock me sick on my bus to school in the morning was the high incidence of summer BO combined with two or three pipe and cigar smokers on the top deck... these two sets of smells combined into something deeply deeply sickening and abominable on a hot morning in July.

Still, that was the seventies, at least today smoking is banned and MOST people have a grasp of personal hygeine to a better degree...

however, on a 197 bus in Manchester (the 197 is a route through Oasis Heritage Country in Burnage and rumour has it passes the Gallaghers' front door)in August one year, cue TRULY foul smell and most passengers getting as near the front as they could.

Reason: deadly drunk man on back seat with alcohol-related double incontinence...

I'm not sure how this panned out, but the driver was ringing the depot for advice and a police involvement was being debated. (What about a delousing and disnfecting involvement, someone said)

And also summertime, the tramp with fleas who got past the driver, and said fleas saw it as a heavensent opportunity to circulate and be social....