A Conversation for Public Transport

Nutter on the Bus

Post 1

Taipan - Jack of Hearts

'a person of insane bearing'

I have devised what I consider to be the best strategy for ensuring that the nutter on the bus does not sit beside you. It is essential to have a strategy for this, as if the nutter on the bus does sit beside you, you are by association (in the minds of others) also a nutter. So......

Here Goes.....

The best strategy for ensuring that the nutter on the bus does not sit beside you is......

Be THE nutter on the bus. Go For It. Let loose and enjoy the journey. Safe in the knowledge that the nutter on the bus will not be sitting beside you (or, if possible, anyone else).

Never mind about pride, or your travelling associates opinions who your probably never going to take the time out of your hectic schedule to want to develop as friends anyway. That's a tough sentence by the way, but I think it makes sense.

In fact, under the above strategy, maybe all the nutters on the buses are really the most intelligent individuals amongst us.

What's the collective noun for many nutters? A Gaggle?


Nutter on the Bus

Post 2

Vladimir

But that would break one of the Universal Laws of Life, the one that dictates that the nutter on the bus always sits next to you.

I haven't posted this in the "Universal..." forum yet, but someone ought to.

I like the theory though. However, I guess it would still make the Universal law apply to whoever you were forced (or chose) to sit next to.


Nutter on the Bus

Post 3

Vladimir

Have you read http://www.h2g2.com/A122077 ?


Nutter on the Bus

Post 4

Taipan - Jack of Hearts

No, I haven't.


Nutter on the Bus

Post 5

Taipan - Jack of Hearts

No, I haven't. Have you?


Nutter on the Bus

Post 6

Taipan - Jack of Hearts

oops! don't ask how that happened. I guess probably some parallell universes crossed over at that particular point in time. I guess also this would mean that somewhere there is a post missing. But that's ok, 'cos I though mine was funner anyway.


Nutter on the Bus

Post 7

Researcher 96060

What if the driver is the nutter on the bus? (And, let's face it, bus drivers are all evil nutters...ok, that's a gross generalisation, I admit.Reluctantly.). My girlfriend got on her regular bus to work this morning, usual driver. She's finishing off a bacon roll and he shouts at her in front of the whole bus (including kids she teaches) to get off until she's finished eating. Rants about having to clear up leftover food (fair point, though, I suppose. Reluctantly.). My girlfriend says she's perfectly capable of putting the remains in the bin; not that she was going to leave any. He then gets out of the bus and tells her she is appallingly bad-mannered for daring to bring food on his bus. Then he points at a Wonderbra advert and says 'Have you got a cleavage like that?' Girlfriend gobsmacked. Gets on bus, goes to work. Avoids looking at pupils.
Ah, bus drivers. Don't you just love them?
And they drive badly on purpose.


Nutter on the Bus

Post 8

mature student

I am the other half of mature student (i am being nosy finding out what she gets up to) I read the above with amusment. As a bus driver I can say that you could be right BUT, an empty bus is a happy bus. The passengers dont understand us. We work all day and rarely get a thank you from anyone. The only time people talk to us is to let off steam ' YOUR LATE. HOW LONG IS THE NEXT BUS GOING TO BE ( about the same length as this one)After 12 hours driving the jokes wear a bit thin. I blame the cyclists. they appear from nowhere and demand most of the road, give you the finger when you try to overtake and block your way. And what about the way the local authorities have made bus lanes that can be used by cyclists. They must have been on something when they made that decision as it is an accident waiting to happen. They will probably blame the POOR bus driver when a cyclist is squashed. I had better go as the boss has caught me playing with her toy ta ta (her other half).


Nutter on the Bus

Post 9

Grandpa BIRIYANI

Jeez I could go to town on this threadsmiley - steam.....Did u know you shouldnt eat or drink on a bus ??


Nutter on the Bus (is sometimes the driver)

Post 10

AgProv2

Bus driving seems to be a dream career for boys aged six-ten, then it kind of dies as a vocation.

I'm thinking of the bus drivers I know well enough - admittedly not a representative nor scientifically selected sample - to be able to say that the motivation for taking this career, for all of them, wasn't necessarily an overwhelming desire to drive buses but a need to get some sort of money in every week to keep body and soul together and/or feed a family.


The most grossly over-educated bus driver I know used to be a Regimental Sergeant-Major in the Army. OK, so nobody DARES cause bother on his bus (force of character, you might say, even the worst council estate chavs respect his authority) - but it's not his chosen career and in fact represents a £20,000 pay CUT from what the Army paid him. In his case, the Army had no further role for him, couldn't promote him any further, and her learnt what it is to be a 48 year old guy looking for a civvy job where most employers consider 48 is positively geriatric, and the prejudice is that the Army has no transferable skills appropriate to civilian life. (Which is plain stupid in this case- being the most senior NCO and resonsible for the everyday welfare of 600 men and women must equate to being a personnel director, or senior manager, or something?)

Whatever it is, I doubt is bus driver is anyone's first choice. Am I wrong??



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