h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'd worrry about what he's putting in that chili. I have a direct quote from da Baron: "Yes, we like our steak, and our beef stew, and if you get in our way, we might eat YOU!" Ha, and he complains about my advisors; At least they're not cannibals!

No wonder chili forms such a pivotal part of his manifesto. He plans to eat his constituents. This is a deplorable action and I feel I must censure it in the strongest possible terms.

He has also confessed to the cod blooded murder of Bambi, and Bambi's mum: "We have Bambi for dinner...and his momma too!"

It'll be Rivers I Blood I tell ye, Rivers of Blood!

Cod blooded murder? That must have given him a real Haddock.
I don't think this is the time or the plaice for fish induced homicides!

Now you're blaming the homicides on FISH?! Grrrr....

Well, let's just say that I was followed to work this morning by 3 cod and a swordfish in a blacked out stingray. Anything to do with you Fenny? Maybe you is thinking I should be sleeping with the fishes?

Shorty for Mayor...?

1- Azza has problems holding his drink.. he only has two hands. In Reading
he got smashed in the station's pub, he suggested a three-in-a-bed romp with
a girl he had just been introduced to (BY ME) in Zanzibar's night-club in
Newport, Gwent. After suggesting a "pull a bird" contest. Don't ask about
what happened the night England beat Colombia 2-0 in the World Cup last
year... I'm sure that Majestix don't need the adverse publicity.

2- He is a misogynist. See the "pull a bird" incident above.

3- He has no regard for rail safety (after the crash at Ladbroke Grove et
al). After a particularly good night on the town, he leaned on a train about
to leave Bradford station and would have fallen on the tracks.

4- The man couldn't hold onto money if his life depended on it. Going into
power, he would be heavily into debt because of the cost of producing
propaganda and paying bribes.

Shorty for Mayor...? Looks like he's got all the right qualities.


Shawn. aka The Uncarved Block on H2G2.
"I know I believe in nothing but it is my nothing..."

May the ground open up and swallow me whole...

When this hits the front page it probably will!
shazz

All sounds like very respectable behaviour for a mayoral candidate!

It's all part of running for mayor I think. (Shall have to something corrupt to gain infamy).

A pot in every chicken.
Wowbagger

Now that is just stealing my lines, Wowbagger. Every body see, I have been stolen from. This is why you should Vote Marv. The only logical choice.

I'm not convinced that been a victim of crime consitutes a reason for a vote!I fyou can't look after yourself,how are you going to look after your constituents?!
shazz

*sigh* Marv... my line had a satirical objective.

*a Valium in every fish*
Wowbagger

It must have flown right over his head then!
shazz

That's a neat trick for someone 6'4" (that's two metersish for the metrically inclined) And Hey I will take all the votes I can get.

LOL You can't take what I don't have!

this is starting to look like a real live election campaign
monsy

It is isn't it!Shall we just put them in the ring and let them slug it out!
shazz

OH MY!! now there's an idea!!!
just let me grab my trusty camera for this as i am sure it will be a sight in to capture for eternity
monsy

I am not a Boxer! Sorry just had to try one Nixon line there.

I would go for a contest for the last one sitting at the Grate Tequila Table of Death. One largish round with a bottle of Tequila for each contestant. I think you can figure the rest out.

Oooooh! Wouldn't political debates rate through the roof if, rather than jabbering for hours on end the two politicians had a drinking contest instead? I'd certainly respect the winner of THAT contest more! Now you're talking sense Marvin!