h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Thought i would start a new thread as there is nothing worse than having a 'no subject' on your page - could be anyone

I have had the strangest week.

Some of which i blame the BBC for and it's adoption week. I am adopted and have always known and i am ok with it. I know her name and age, and that she was training to be a hairdresser, from scouting about my mums wardrobe and finding a bunch of papers to do with the adoption. (never hide anything from kids in the house - they will *always* find it!)

I did register with Norcap a few years back to see if my birth mother was looking for me. There was no match, but when i got net access i have looked around a bit but still no luck.

On tuesday i heared about Kay's death.
Wednesday, after having a moment of inspiration, i suddenly decided to check out friends re-united. I did a name search and came up with a match of the right age and town with someone who was a hairdresser.

I emailed her with some vague details about her knowing me for a short time in August 1970 and mentioned the name she had given me, (without saying that i was her daughter) and left it at that. Although i was pretty convinced it must be her.

Today (thursday) i got an email back and it is definately her. She knew immediately who i was.
She sent a photo and wants me to send one back.

My head is all over the place.

Although i have made passive efforts in the past to find her, it seems so weird that just a quick search on friends re-united can find someone that the courts and the law won't let me have access to, without a great deal of fuss!

And all in 3 days.

How bizzarre the world is.

Hi there Mort, I'm sorry, I missed this come up on my list. You must think I'm dreadfully rude.

I know what you mean about rummaging throught parent's papers - I used to do that a lot when she went out. I'll be buying a lickable box for all my important things as J grows.

Have you heard any more since you left this message here? The internet is changing the way that things are done so quickly. I'm surprised that the law wouldn't let you have the info though - I always thought that the child was allowed to be given the details when they came 'of age'?

"when she went out" I was drifting off in the past there, I meant my mother of course.

Ideno? is that a flash way of spelling 'I dunno' because you can't think of a 'non Mina' nickname? Or is it some Greek Goddess I have never heard of?!

My first thought was that you are so busy that you haven't noticed it on your messages, then i thought you have just missed it, and then i wondered if i had upset you somewhere!!
And i couldn't remember having a nark at you, but with my hormones and mood swings at the moment anything is possible

The law at the moment means that adopted children before 1974 need to undergo a councilling session before they are allowed access to their adoption file, and those after 1974 don't.

The children can get access to their real birth certificate and try to track down their birth parents, but the birth parents are not allowed any access to the records of the children or to even know their new names. This was changed with the introduction of 'open adoption' where the birth mother can have updates from the new parents once a year (or similar arrangements)

Norcap is an adoption charity that creates a register of parents wanting to track down their children but it means that matches are made on vague details, and the hope that both parties register.

I think within the next 5 years the law will change so that birth parents can go through 'official channels' to try to trace children, but if the kids don't know they are adopted then it could ruin families.

Things are going very well, almost too good to be true. We have been emailing each other almost every day and she has told me about how she looked after me 5 days before i was taken away and the nurses wouldnt let her parents see me or pass on any clothes, teddies or even let her have a photo of me. They weren't very nice to her at all.

She has told her whole family that i have got in touch and they seem pleased. I have an uncle and 2 cousins in Australia, and a 5 year old half sister. (she was just 16 when she had me)

It is alot to get my head round. I hope it carries on this good. It is painful for her to think of that time, but she says she wants me to be part of her life now, but understands i have my own family.

I have to keep pinching myself as it seems to have happened so quickly. but i do keep telling myself to keep my feet on the ground.

We have exchanged photos - that she has sent to all her family, and they all think i am beautiful - so that boosted my self esteem!!

I have her eyes - big, dark and deep.

I will stick to email for the moment and then maybe messenger before speaking to her - try to take it slowly and not get carried away.

I haven't told my mum and dad that i have found her (or even that i was looking) so i am dreading doing that. Think i will leave it a while and see how it goes before i do.