h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Listen, we have 100 days left and nobody, nobody, has a clue as to the name of the next decade. All you guys and gals out there are kids of some decade or other, the sixties, the seventies, etc., (maybe even older). It's like a badge of pride, but no-one has yet decided the name of the next decade!

Forget about Millennium Bugs and stuff: We stand to lose a whole generation if we don't think fast! It's this sort of stuff that creates generation gaps.

In 20 years we will have conversations like "well I was a kid of the lost decade", or "well, I don't really belong to any decade worth mentioning". Imagine the trauma.

So we need to get our head around the problem fast! And we need to do it before some bureaucrats in Brussels decide to call it the "Eurodecade" or suchlike. Consensus, anyone?

Why worry
When we get there it will be NOW!

Current favourites are 'the zeroes", "the noughties" and "the oughies" although frankly they are all stupid. Personally I think that for ten years people will have to get used to the extra effort of a few more syllables and just call them "the two-thousands" or "the first ten years of the century" or something resonably self-explanatory like that.

I rather like the sound of "the noughties."
A name full of promise- at least we can hope.

It might be better to take the easy approach and just not call them anything specific. Just use nice pronouns like "them"....

Or plain old "it"...That's a golden oldie...

It probably won't matter anyway. The only real time that you have to group years into identifiable decades is for awful theme parties (1960s = hippies, 1970s = disco, 1980s = clothes at back of cupboard) and hopefully things like that will be outlawed in the next century.

What about the "nothings"? Or the "digits"? There's always the yeats. And the "millenium"... so many options, but maybe we should start naming decades by the most important event, instead of numbers. I'd rather grow up in the PC decade (note the double-menaing) than the "nineties" oh well...

How about "The mils?"

How about the "M&Ms"? Just think, we could get a whole generation of kids sued for copyright infringement!

Right, maybe this is a dumb idea, but its a new millenium, right? so why not start a whole shiney new naming system all together? Each decade could be identified by, for example, a name pulled from a big hat, so the '00's could be "Geoff", the '10's could be "Martha" (I admit these names are probably a bit unsuitable, and a bit rediculous, but its only an example)

Why not auction the name off to the highest bidder. How much would Coca Cola pay to have a decade named, "The Coke decade", or the "Cokes"? Ten billion? A dollar fifty for every man, woman and child? A can of coke to you and me but a not inconsequential sum to someone from Siam, or Ceylon. How about doing a deal whereby Coke give twenty bucks to everyone that produces identification, proving that they are from a third world country.
Other potential sponsors:
The Kellogg's, The Exxon's, The Pfizer's, The Smith & Wessons. NOT the Microsofts.

A brillaint idea, but who'd get the money? i was gonna attempt some humerous suggestions, but ive been awake for 19 hours now and my brain has shut down.

Ok i admit it, i've been stupid in front of the whole world, and did not read your message properly. why not take there money and use it to cancel out third world debt? a-la the banner that appears at the top of the h2g2 pages occasionally.

I read in a book that the first decade of this century was called the Oughts. Although I read in another book that they didn't have nicknames for decades back then, so who knows. That wasn't very helpful was it?

Spot the deliberate mistake..

We could also call it "the-decade-that-dares-not-speak-its-name" to quote Oscar Wilde, and wait until the following decade (whatever we are going to call THAT), to decide on an appropriate name for it. Maybe call it after the person who cures cancer or world hunger or suchlike....

So many choices, so little time! Who should decide? The World Court, The U.N., The Department of Funny Walks?

Why not the "Y2Kplus's" then you could have Y2K+1, Y2K+2, at least its 4 digits and shouldn't cause any problems with programming. Also, has any thought that their teletext might not work on New Years Day.
Then anyone remembering the 'Y2KPlus's" would say, "hey what about those plussies, great decade, plus 3 was my fave". You'd have a plussie theme party and wear plussie clothes.
Come on, join in and be one of the plussies.

The Plussies.

It's short. It doesn't really mean anything. It rolls of the tongue very easily.

I REALLY like it.

To call a decade "The-decade-that-dares-not-speak-its-name" will prompt too many people to refer to it as "the Scottish decade" in a Macbeth reference.

Most of the decades with themes or names were stuck with the labels in years past...or well underway, anyway. To label a decade without knowing its contents is a job for marketing and out-of-touch CEOs.

People will have enough trouble remembering that in addition to 1 January on their cheques, they now must add a larger date: 2000.

Possibly the biggest movement of the coming decade will be the social-action of recovering our biological system from the over-doses of caffeine that's currently used to drive us at the speed of computer technology.

Perhaps the "biological crash" decade...although that suggests genetic-manipulation....

Fruitbat

Some one here on the garish side of the pond sugested the "zips"

It will probably end up being the "Ohs".

Folow my logic;
When pronouncing years, we usually take the first thousand years as its own number (sixteen hundreds, nineteen hundreds and so on) folowed by the next two digit number (eighteen-seventy-six, nineteen-ninety-four was, thirty-fifty-seven) This way we can forget the century word when talking about the current decade (ninety-one, ninety-seven), and further forget the "ones" word when talking about other decades in the current century (the fourties, the eighties, and so on). So, in following that pattern, we would probably say something to the effect of Twenty-Oh-four, which shortens to Oh-four, leaving a decade called the "Ohs".

Alternately, we may just say Two-Thousand-And-Two, which shortens to the semi cryptic And-Two, leaving an absurd decade known as the "Ands"

The only problem is the first year of any decade is always reffered to by its decade name ("back "ninety", I was").. so do we call the year 2000 "Oh", "And", or upgrade it to "Two Thousand" (this one gets my vote)