h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello friends!

Sorry I haven't been quite so forthcoming as of late...

I confess, posting a journal entry hasn't been something that comes naturally to me. I'm much more inclined to idly chat with you, tucked away in cosy corners of hootoo, running amok with indiscriminately placed smileys and seelly phonetic aksentz...

I was starting to feel comfortable while typing that!

What I wanted to report, is that I'm fine, safe, and not likely to mysteriously disappear suddenly as I did last month.

The closest Californian fire was 15 miles from my home, this time. We had a week of ashes blanketing our lawns and gardens like drifts of snow. The sun would rise above the forested hills all saffron tinged with a lilac veil and then turn blood red at noon. Then it would seem like a pall of twilight had been cast upon the afternoon sky until the crimson sun would dip into the reflective mauve and violet sea.

In the midst of this, I found out from an excited team of geologists - that the driveway entrance to my home was situated on an about-to-collapse sinkhole. It was determined that I should relocate my Mum(whom I am primary caregiver of), and anything of value to somewhere safe to live while they used blasting caps, heavy machinery and other toys that they were eager to use to remedy the 30 foot wide and who knows how darned deep situation.

I hired a removal van to load up Mum's hospital bed and contents of her bedroom. We were going 100 miles south to my cousin's new home that he had specially built to accomodate his actively urbane electric wheelchair lifestyle(he's got cerebral palsy) and enough spacious room for caregivers and guests.Perfect!

But I got a call early in the morning from a close family friend(my vocal coach/mentor) who was in dire need of help to move his valuable posessions because his Malibu neighbourhood was on fire -again!
So I, who just-happened-to-have-a-big-removal-truck at the moment, raced down the coast, past blazing communities and hillsides in 80 mph winds and donned a face filter mask and safety goggles to load up household goods and hose everything down with water that we could in an hour because the area was being officially evacuated.

We successfully moved all his belongings to my big brother's geodesic dome home. Then we moved my belongings out of my home that had been surrounded by a hastily erected chain link safety fence and copious yellow caution ribbon tape. My brother took my Mum down to my cousins house in his car and I drove the van.

Moved into my cousins lovely hillside home and settled down to relax when we got another phone call. My other cousins from San Diego county were being evacuated because their canyon home was in the line of a fast approaching fire!

And I still had the Removal Van.

You guessed it.
Repeat performance with all the familiar fiery refrains.

I rested for a day or so to recover from muscle strains and asthma.
Then I hopped a flight to Paris to perform Fauré and Bach.
As a flight attendant assisted me in stowing my carry-on gear, he slipped, my laptop flew out of his hands to the cabin floor, he sought to catch it, the forward momentum caused him to actually stomp on it , as his jaw slammed hard on the window ledge and the sickening sound of cracking laptop casing ensued.

The laptop died. That's why I texted Wile E from Paris. Well, I also wanted to nag him to go to sleep because it was late- but I managed to interrupt his sleep because he was busy texting me back...

Anyway, Air France presented me with a new laptop to replace the smashed and body slammed one. The concert went well and sans asthma. My San Diego cousins have moved back home to find that their next door neighbour's house had burnt to the ground and their home had only sustained fixable roof, fence and landscape damage. My vocal coach/mentor and my are still living out of my brother's house weekdays and a mountain cabin on weekends. He'll be moving into my home once we're given the all clear that needed repairs are well and truly finished. His insurance company has assessed his house damage to be $730,000 so far. It's estimated that he may move back within a month or so.

And I'm still here at my cousin's house in the foothills of the San Fernando Valley with my Mum. I went to a business meeting at a convention center last night detailing strike plans in my line of w*rk. That's why I'm only now posting and sincerely thanking you for your concern and kind thoughts - or I'm saying "hi" for the first or second time and thanking you for your patience and fortitude for enduring this rare, drawn out missive.

I'm back! Let the offerings commence!

Hi hun!

Hi back at you, JEllen!
Thanks for being such a good friend and wondering where I wandered off to lately!
I promise not to be so mysterious next time...

Hi Cyn...

Lovely to see you, and even better to know you are safe and well, even if you are decamped...

Better safe than

Good to have you back.

You know how I worry!!!



MMF

It's good to see you... I wonder when you'll get a chance for a nice quiet day or two.

Nice evocation of smoky skies, by the way. Isn't it strange how something that dreadful can be that surreally beautiful? During the last fires here the sky looked like black velvet with orange highlights on the folds. In the aftermath the sky was gunmetal grey for a week with a red sun like a Hindu caste mark. Quite unforgettable.

Thanks Mazin!

I'll admit, I *was* getting to feel a bit smoke cured when carrying out all those missions with the removal van. It's rather a welcome relief to breathe thewholesomeness of LA smog now!

Weather's nice right now, but the Santa Ana winds will be gusting up and down the canyons again this weekend. So we'll still be on the lookout for any sign of sparks...

I'm busy doing spa therapy now!


*gobbles down offerings with gusto!*

Hello Ivan!
Thanks for your concern about me while I disappeared in all that smoky haze lately! Yes, those firestorms could be devastatingly beautiful while they blazed a path of destruction. Most days looked like vast Rothko panels.A couple of days we had just that same black velvet textured sky that you described. I annoyed my brother (who shoved me)by stating that all it lacked was Elvis in a white cape and sequins to complete the awesome heavenly vision in the sky.
So much for intelligent art appreciation.

I forgot to mention that my jeep fondling stalker(weird sychronicity last time we chatted, indeed!) might be deported to Australia soon. Don't worry, he's from north of Sydney.
Otherwise, I'm feeling much safer than I have been for a while!

I'm trying to have a quiet day.

But ascorpion scuttled out from a potted plant on the scenic deck and frightened me in a silly frightened girl way!
Ah...the charms of living in the wild west!

Elvis in the Sky with Firestorms?

There are rather a lot of nutters north of Sydney. ( That's where D is from, come to think of it, and he's not normal.) Your jeep-fondler will fit back in with no trouble.

Now you tell me!

Well, the jeep fondler painted my name in ketchup, mustard and jam on his white apartment walls, played Polka Greatest Hits on his stereo full blast and shouted out "I am NOT a DINOSAUR bearing arms!" as the sheriffs dragged him(wearing green and purple Barney boxers) and a couple of rifles out of his abode.



Here's hoping that he and D don't wind up chatting over pints anytime soon.

Polka's Greatest Hits? Sounds like the nefarious penguin lodger from Wallace and Grommit.

Ketchup, mustard *and* jam? What appalling taste.

I think D will be safe - he wouldn't tolerate such mustard abuse.

Yeah Cyn


If you still have that truck and could get round to my place it would save me hiring a skip.


Have some for your heroics.

Hey Fizzy!

Thanks for stopping by with some restorative !

My removal services have come to a halt at the moment, thank goodness!

I did hear that my cousins got rid of furniture they no longer wanted by throwing the pieces into a blazing part of their backyard and producing a backfire that fed the approaching fire away from their home structure. A bit extreme...but they called off hiring the skip planned for this month.

Warning: Don't try this at home, folks.

Well, I'm glad to hear you folks are taking all this in your stride.

It's a wonky stride...but it's typically pure Californian!

That's what we love about you ....

This cousin also welcomes you in Montreal!
Quebec's not about to burn down while you are here. We keep our fires in our fireplaces, where they belong.

I cannot guarantee you will be free from mad stalkers here. I'll deal with them as per need, if required.

Btw, I thought your photoshoot proofs in France were stunning!

Cheers little cuzzie

~J~

Bon Soir J!



How did you get hold of those proofs before I could



I'll see you soon enough. Just remember to stock up on my favourite bars beforehand!

I'll give you a ring tomorrow afternoon.

Laters Cuz!

Hmm offerings...did you want the Swiss Villars dark with praline filling & bits of cocoa bean?

Or the new Kerstin's http://www.kerstinschocolates.com Chocophilia Mocha Bean bar, 65% cocoa solids dark(100% criollo) with crushed Transcend-roasted http://www.transcendcoffee.com Mexican beans? (Perhaps her 72% Ecuadoran-arriba-dark , which she describes as "Earthy with hints of plum & brown sugar"?)

Possibly the Laura Secord http://www.laurasecord.ca (hmm)70% extreme dark bar?

Possibly the German organic bjornsted http://www.bjoernsted.de/englisch.html -33% min cocoa solids-milk with a praline filling(consisting among other things of 50% hazelnuts & 35% raw cane sugar?

Or most likely-me-all of the aforementioned?

Oh almost forgot, I picked up some Purdy's http://www.purdys.com-covered ginger...probably don't even need to ask.

Due to it being one in the morning and the amount of researching I've been doing lately I have not read all of this journal. I'm going to do it later! But I wanted to pop in now and say good to "see" you!