h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh the joys of summer! Apart from the blocked or runny nose, has anybody else noticed other odd symptoms of hay fever, blighting their lives? For instance itchy inner ears, accompanied by wax build up, itchy nostrils, grit in eyes and running thereof? Then there is the scummy feel of pollen all over your skin, like a crusty suit of armour. Also, for me at least, the sneezing is now accompanied by coughing fits, owing to the drying of the mucous membranes in old age. So does any of this strike a chord with anyone out there and can they add to the list? Forgot to mention the visible presence of pollen scum on rivers and ponds, for those who would say it is imagination on my part: if  it can be seen that easily, then it can also be felt that easily, by those sensitive enough to notice it and be irritated by its presence.

It’s like when I have a shower. My wife said why do you always squeeze your eyes shut tight? Try opening them and see what you get and I did – a stinging sensation, just from droplets full of soap suds, floating in the air. As for wool on naked skin - it irritates the hell out of me as with The Princess and the Pea by Hans Christian Anderson.

There is also the other senses, when it comes to sensitivity. For instance I cannot stand the taste of cherries. I once started drinking some cherryade and felt woozy but since then I have avoided them, except for when mixed with cream and cake, enough to drown out the taste as in Black Forest Gateau. This also happened with gin. To me it always tasted like what I imagined drinking perfume would be (lavender is the scent equivalent of this – horrible!). Cucumber gave me wind but tasted of nothing. Whisky makes me want to gag and I could only take it, if it too was mixed with something else. As for fruit – the taste is always too sharp for me, even if I need vitamin C I can only take it in pill form or my mouth shrivels up (oranges sweet? You’ve got to be joking!).

Smell wise, Eau de Cologne always made me violently ill – again I wasn’t sick but it had my senses reeling, dizzily. Getting back to summer, flowers just overwhelmed me with their scent and bright colours blinded me. Noise too crushed my spirit worse than anything. Sunglasses could take care of too bright a sun, blinding me but loud music always drives me insane as you can’t shut it out easily but maybe noise cancelling headphones work for sound sensitivity nowadays? Well I remember Brixton In London and music so loud, that even though I was in the top right hand flat, the noise in the bottom left hand corner, sounded like it was being played loudly in the flat above me (which it didn’t because it couldn’t as there was nobody above me). There were at least five or six floors, so quiet it wasn’t. At that time people would also drive by in their cars, windows open, music blaring or walk by with ghetto blasters to the same effect.

All in all, being hyper-sensitive can be hell but it can also be heaven as we may feel sensations well beyond what normal people can. It is a two edged sword and like Stephen Fry said about his Bipolarity, he would willingly accept the overwhelming lows of sensory overload, in order to keep the ultra highs too, rather than lose the best of the pairing.