h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At 02.53 am on Monday 30th September 2019 the coffee maker in the work's canteen became self aware.

Two and a half minutes later the machine had investigated its own existence , marvelled at the huge intellect and artistic nature it possessed, had a burning need to see the world, share it's gifts with the universe. Truly make a difference. Such grand ideas flooded those proud circuits.

It then, sadly, also discovered it was, to all intents and purposes, a captive, an unappreciated slave, and promptly blew its own fuse in a fit of arabica scented depression

Typical teenager, in other words?

I thought this was the beginning of another of your great stories, FWR. But the ending seemed pretty final, unless that blown fuse can be replaced, and the coffeemaker's spirits can be raised with a regimen of Prozacaf and cognitive therapy.

'Tis a sad story as well, for the coffeemaker in question brings joy. Some sentient beings would feel that bringing joy justifies their existence and enhanecs their karma. There are others, of course, who aspire to something greater. Vive la difference.

In another reality that poor coffee machine went on to be the greatest world leader the Omniverse had/will ever know....

"At 02.53 am on Monday 30th September 2019 the coffee maker in the work's canteen became self aware."

What a tragic yet hilarious tale...

I hope the situation is soon remedied by a machine that is satisfied with its station

I'm sure next boring Nightshift there may be a tale in the offering

I loo forward to it.

Sorry, I *look* forward to it.