h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Forget the serpent, the dragon, the goat - disregard the horns and the pitchfork, laugh off the idea of a fallen, black-wing'd angel.

Hollywood stereotypes of suave, handsome men and women tempting you into depravity and lakes of fire, pah! Just nerds with too much time, and way too many special effects toys to play with!

Instead, look closer to home, probably inside your homes for many of you, and you may find the merest glimmer of the slightest shred of the beginnings of real, actual Truth.

My name is Legion…..(just kidding!)

My name is Bagpuss, and I am the Devil!

1)

*That bloody cat's evil!* Joe dabbed rather gingerly at the bleeding parallel lines that now decorated his cheek.

*Dearwee, dearwee, diddums, did the big scawee kitty cat give poor Joeywowee a booboo?* Maria rubbed her face against the tiny ball of purring fluff.

*May as well rub your face with razorwire, vicious little bugger!*

The kitten continued purring as it wiggled it's way down Maria's blouse and fell asleep between her boobs.

*And that….* Joe fumed as he picked up his work bag, pointing a rather envious finger at her cleavage, *That's just, well, that's just…*

*Snugglywuggly!* She blew him an exaggerated kiss, *Have a wuverly shift Joeywowee, we wurve yoooo!*

From out of her blouse, the tiny head peeked, yawning up at Joe, a fiery glint in blue eyes as it bared its fangs, then disappeared into cotton.

*Horrible bloody things, knew we should've got a pup!* Joe cursed as he picked up his helmet and slammed the front door.

Between the two soft and warm pillows, Bagpuss slept, purring, and dreaming of all the fun he was going to have torturing Joweewowee….

I finally woke up enough to look up 'bagpuss', a new word to me...

[We have a researcher named Bagpuss. Also, the connection between cats and evil is not a new one, though I suppose there's plenty of new ground left to plow there.]

I knew about the Researcher. Didn't know it was a 'thing'.

Nothing new ever appears in my journal Paul! Just a bit of a tangent to explore from DGs stripey kitty and spooky moon pics....promise ...ok I'll stop now!

Oh and cats protect against evil, not cause it. Apparently....

The end. Purrfect....

All I need now are more interesting Pratchett references....bet he did cats years ago....probably...maybe not...bet he didn't do Mongolian heavy rock pirates....but he probably did....I'll stick to motorbikes...bet there was a majikal bike too....ho hum....Tom Cruise anyone?

You know, I don't remember any cats in Terry Pratchett - not even with his witches - but then, I'm not a diehard fan, maybe ask somebody else...the ruler of Ankh-Morpork has an elderly dog.

Do cats protect against 'evil'? I dunno. Some people - they know who they are, and somebody should take their ghostbusting equipment and hide it - claim cats can 'see' ghosts and such. Bah. I doubt cats are interested in that kind of thing. They can't eat ectoplasm, or play with it. What good is it?

You know what might be cool? A 'psychic detective' story from the POV of the cat. Maybe the cat is being used as a prop by the 'ghostbuster' and finds its own way to solve the mystery and debunk the nonsense? Just thinking out loud...

You definitely need something to go with that brilliant picture you did.

There was a crack team of feline Catolic debunkers, enroute from the Catican, investigating all things pussy paranormal...the Exorkits will have to keep their Holy Milk and the Blessed Ball of Saint Woolley to themselves...at least for a few weeks. Look forward to reading your tale my friend.

Once I get next week's Post done, I'll try to have a think.

I'm still convalescing from the weekend. Heat, company, dogs, cats, funny stories...

Greebo was Discworld's most illustrious cat.

Oh, that's right. Wasn't he based on that ancient folkie joke about the witch who turned her cat into a prince, or some such? I've forgotten.

Pratchett stories, although extremely enjoyable to read, are not exactly memorable as to plot.

Greebo, in my un-pratchetty world, was a rather derogatory term for one who enjoyed the biker/rocker lifestyle, derivative of Greaser...maybe Terry was into metal, nothing new here, move along...

It might have been a social comment, then.

According to the Discworld Wiki (there is such a thing):

'In Roundworld, a greebo is variously described as a slovenly, unkempt young man, or an aficionado of unfashionable styles of music such as "heavy metal" or "punk".'

According to this same virtual tome, Pratchett's, or rather Granny Weatherwax's Greebo is 'the father of most of the cat population in the area...Flea bitten, with scars all over his face and his partially present ears he is a huge swaggering bully of a cat - renowned for once chasing a bear up a tree.'

He's no better as a human.

http://wiki.lspace.org/mediawiki/Greebo

Jees these people are proper nerds! (Any reference to any pratchett based nerd is purely unintentional and I don't need to know how the Nerdworld mollusc or whatever came about)

I agree. Fanfic is usually rather dreary stuff.

Other Discworld cats are You, Maurice, and Ratbag.