h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: "Oops" - A4142215
Author: Doom_Wraithguard - U1593060

I'm worried that people will think I'm trying to mimic Douglas Adams. I'd like to think that it's visibly my own style (albeit similiar to that of the aforementioned author) but it may not be clear. Tell me what you think, and I'll make omissions and minor editorial changes to fix it completely.

I think it's coming along just SWELL!!

You may want to add in a category of the worst time to hear Ooops, however. Such as when the doctor is working on your internals with sharp implements ... and drops something.

Or, perhaps when your lady friend examines her home pregnancy test.

Or, following a gunshot and subsequent ricochet.

Good luck with this.

You ARE mimicking Douglas Adams, because you mention the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation. This is an in-joke that only means something to Douglas Adams fans, which limits the funniness of the entry. Try and think of some real-life example, but don't pick on a corporation such as Microsoft or McDonalds, because (a) every body seems to dislike them, so it is not funny and (b) they might sue you. Think of something in modern-day life which is used a lot but which everybody hates.

Is this the right forum for this entry? It seems to me it would be better off in the Alternative Writing Workshop - this forum is more for factual entries that need a lot of collaboration to get them up to edited guide standard, unless this is what you're after?

This to me seems like a future Edited Entry. Once the reference to the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation is removed, it will be about the real world and I think just the sort of thing we are looking for in the Edited Guide. If that is the direction you choose to go, it should be in the Writing Workshop, where a (small) number of volunteers will help you improve it and bring it up to standard.

If on the other hand, you want it to remain a fictional piece embedded in the world of Douglas Adams, then it should be in the Alternative Writing Workshop. I don't know what level of support you will receive there, as I haven't ventured into the place.

There is a small but dedicated band of people in the AAW, unfortunately it doesn't get the traffic it deserves. It could do with some advertising!

Author has elvised - back to entry?

seconded