h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'm sorry. But we cain't he'p it. We have to make fun of Texas AGIN.

Let's let the Austin Lounge Lizards set the mood. (Austin's in Texxas.)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9nN7txUSrgs

Now, are you ready? Here's what a woman in Texas has done. Okay, allegedly. There's a lot of alleging and supposing going on. Charges and countercharges. Media and FBI involvement. They can allege all they want, but when somebody mails poison to the Prez, it's the FBI's JOB.

Here goes:

http://www.reuters.com/article/2013/06/07/us-usa-obama-letter-idUSBRE95615S20130607

What do we know, without the allegations?

1. SOMEBODY sent letters containing ricin - the do-it-yourself poison of the domestic terrorist - to President Obama and Mayor Bloomberg of New York, along with nasty letters about gun control: 'cold, dead hands', that sort of thing. Some workers got sick, but not too much.

2. Ms Richardson - who is 35, has five kids and another on the way, and is an actress - told authorities her husband did this.

3. The FBI investigated - and arrested the wife. We think they became suspicious when the husband couldn't pronounce 'ricin', and had no idea who the letters had been sent to. (He didn't get the memo.) Richardson said on TV that no, he didn't know what his wife was capable of, or he'd have 'blown the whistle on her'. They've been married for about two years, the papers say.

4. Ms Richardson has been charged with threatening the President. She says she mailed the letters, but her husband 'made her do it'. They'll sort this out in court.

The only thing that makes this story an even better candidate for a Lifetime Channel movie is that Shannon Richardson has been seen on TV in bit parts. On 'The Walking Dead', she played a zombie.

Now, if a scriptwriter can't get something out of that, I miss my guess.

If she's acquitted, of course, she could play herself. Or she could angle a role in the remake of 'The Positively True Adventures of the Alleged Texas Cheerleader Murdering Mom'. This is a real TV movie, y'all:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yr27BIhNqM8

Okay, my apologies to Texas h2g2ers, but you know how it is. I live in North Ca'lina, and my maternal relatives all came from Miss'ippi. I KNOW it's the pot calling the kettle rusty, but I couldn't help it.

The news made me do it.

Reality often beggars believe