h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's Election Day, which means the bars will be closed. Not that I'd notice.

That's an old custom, which dates from the beginning of universal ('white') male suffrage, back in the 1820s. You see, ladies, when y'all got the vote, it just meant you voted. But when all the unwashed, non-landowning men got the vote, it meant free drinks. That had to stop - they had enough trouble filling out those ballots.

Voter fraud is not a new idea here. Ballot boxes ending up in the river, dead people voting...don't get us started.

Anyhow, we went over to the polling place, which is the local Catholic church fellowship hall. Nice volunteers. They tell you what to do, and smile, wish you a nice day, thank you for voting, give you a sticker that says 'I Voted - [flag]'.

We have paper ballots here, so it's like taking a multiple-choice test. And you have to read the directions: fill in the little ovals with the pen, you can vote straight party, but you have to vote for President/Vice President separately, and for the 'nonpartisan' judges, too.

The 'nonpartisan' judges are a bete noir of mine. In the first place, people in some US states elect their judges. This makes me mad, because it shows that they don't understand that truth is not up to popular vote.

Then there's the 'nonpartisan' part. I read the statements for each judge, and I could tell what party they supported. Reading the 'code words' allowed me to make an informed choice between 'liberal' and 'conservative' judges. I grumbled.

Voting in North Carolina can be fun. We got to vote for a fella named Thigpen - not because he had a name I liked, but because he was the best candidate. This Thigpen happens to be African American. Awful names fall on the just and the unjust. I also got to vote for a lady named 'Clementine', though to do so, I had to pass on the one whose last name was 'Smoke'.

Hopefully, wise choices are being made today - and thanks to the thoughtful addition of a Purell dispenser in the lobby, nobody caught the 'flu from doing their Civic Duty.

This election update was brought to you courtesy of the League of Extraterrestrial Voters.

Good for you for doing your civic duty! I voted absentee in California.

One of these days, I swear, everybody's going to vote online, and it'll all be over by election day.

In case it all goes wrong, we have a guest room.

If only leaving the country were enough...

There was a rather funny 'add' on Facebook warning republican voters about the perils of migrating to Australia should Romney lose: No death sentences, gay marriages, gay politicians and so on

I like.

Stephen Colbert did a funny show last night - we were just watching part of it online. Once they'd declared the winner (during his live show), he had a field day.