h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This afternoon I went to the optician and had myself an eye test. I finally asked the questions that have puzzled me for decades and, thanks to a remarkably friendly optician chap, I now know what they're doing when they shine that funny torch in your eye!

I then ordered two pairs of glasses, one normal, one sunglassy. Thanks to the compression needed on the lenses (my eyesight is shocking) the bill was £360.00. That'll be on the card for a while...

I really didn't want designer frames but, as the lenses and frames were half price, it worked out cheaper than cheap frames and their full-price lenses. Go figure. It means I'm going to look like one of those turnips with designer frames. Piddle.

I followed a few links earlier and got intrigued by an unfolding story. I thought 'Hmmm, this would make a good guide entry'. I followed a few more links and have uncovered much, which has led to, of all things, Hansard. I'm starting to reconsider the entry. There's research and then there's *research*...

This afternoon I found out that I have to re-apply for my job. If I don't get it I'll be stuck back behind a desk all day, until the desk jobs move out of London. Great.

There's a small kitchen knife on my controller keyboard. I have no idea how it got there. I might put it back in the kitchen. Then again, I might not.

I'm involved in a religious debate on the PCS Proud (the union's LGBT branch) forum. It's all been frightfully polite. There's a shocker!

Heroes gets better. By episode five it's rivetting.

I finally registered my interest for Glasto this afternoon, had a roam around the Glasto website then had to remind myself not to get too excited - over a million people seem to have registered an interest (if my reference number is anything to go by) in 150,000 tickets...

In the words of Jimi:

'Scuse me while I kiss this guy...

Oh, if only.

aaaww poor you blimey is that how much it is for glasses now?

It is for two pairs, but that's a half price sale!

Actually, this is the first time in years that I've had the foresight to order some new glasses *before* the current ones are broken or lost over a debauched weekend, so I wasn't panic buying.

A few years back I had a pair of specs that already had a broken arm (I had a full on sellotape fashion statement going on) and, on the way back from a fantastic Bank Holiday evening at The Black Cap (their bank holiday jobbies rock - the funniest, bitchiest drag queens around perform) saw a dustbin that had been separated from it's base. I decided this would be an opportune moment for a Dalek impression. We searched and searched for the dismounted-by-head mounted-bin glasses but to no avail.

A sober Roymondo journal? Hah! You don't fool us! Now, whichever of you have kidnapped Roymondo in order to probe his 4rse (he enjoys that sort of thing, you know!), kindly return him to at once and take away this unconvincing imitation.

Thank you, aliens. Thaliens.

RF

Oh, alright then, it was me guv. I done it.


(Oh, the fun I could have with two computers and two accounts...)

I got a flyer for the Planet Fannit Easter Beer Festival from CAMRA today!

You are altogether too sensible when posting sober. I hereby order you to imbibe & run amok in the streets hunting for short-sighted daleks who have kidnapped your specs.

By the way, i have it on good information that Sellotape is the new black as far as designer specs are concerned....; if you need shades then obviously gaffer tape is go man

The opticians here have 2 for 1 deals too, but they are always advertised with a gigantic poster of Johnny Hallyday

zdt

I'm imbibing Old Peculiar even as we, er, well, erm, you know, er, type and stuff.

Johnny Hallyday? Isn't he knocking on a bit?

Much to my surprise I am absolutely engrossed by the Hansard entry I mentioned earlier. Funny old world.

Well I got my laptop back from the computer hospital today

You have no idea how difficult it is to type when more than half of the letters have been worn off the keys (and of course it's the most popular letters}

Just got a moderation e-mail. I think they objected to the word "ejaculate". At least it was spelt right.

Johnny is indeed knocking on a bit, but you can't accuse him of taking early retirement, with or without his specs!

http://www.hallyday.com.fr/Tour/Tour/tour.html

The day he finally pops his clogs i should think France will declare at least a month of National Mourning.

zdt

SWL: are you sure it was the word 'ejaculate'? I know that you tend to steer clear of contentious postings but surely there was a better reason to mod it than 'ejaculate'! (BTW, I didn't see it)

T&Y - is JH the French Cliff Richard?

I was suggesting that Arnie had got particularly excited

Ah. Isn't it about time Kleenex marketed a monitor mounted dispenser?

He is Much Much More than the French Cliff Richard, he is a National Monument & apparently is performing here in Angoulême tonight at some superbowl type stadium, the existence of which i was Not informed of.

It's probably the bloody stage designers who wandered past & nicked my daffodils.

Firefox has gone stupid on me, please help. It spat up some message in frog, seeming to ask me to change my "defaut"; for why, your guess good as mine. I sighed & rebooted. I can't get back to having nice cosy Google as home page & seem to have lost all my favorites list, plus "barre personelle" which was the quick link to BBC & h2g2.

And it's bloody raining again & viking via phone seems to be in an even more grumpy mood than normal as if such a thing is possible. All i asked was "hey, did you know your hero Johnny is in town tonight?" & i got (basically) "sod off, i am watching a war film"

Bleeagh.

zdt

Hah! After reading the last post (ho! another Army reference!Cue: bugles) maybe even as we squeak Le Viking is watching Arnie ejaculating on video "We will fight them on the beaches! Forward; my good men! We cannot permit this filth to rule our green & pleasant land!"

I mean, Arnie needs to get things off his chest, he has a big chest & sometimes he needs to express himself forcibly doesn't he?

zdt

GOD I'm drunk this evening, woohoo!

If they object to the word 'ejaculate', I really don't know what this site's coming to.

I think its joyous spurt of youth has departed.

I reckon it's a Punning Clot to force us all into using playground language. The Beeb are sponsoring the worldwide adoption of Sniggerish as a means of crossing cultural boundaries.

It's fine by me, in this house myself, a fellow hooter & le Viking regularly reduced each other to bouts of hysterical knicker-damping delight by coming out (te-he!) with the following phrase whenever anything even remotely sexual was mentioned:

"Hee-hee PUBES!!!!"

Try it out yourselves folks; it works really well.

zdt