h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

A Questionnaire of non specifics
Allotted time allowed is 13 hours 13 minutes and 13 seconds.
All four parts must be – relevant or not, preferred

Part one.

Q1. Have been or ever been
Q2. Do you know the way?
Q3. And therefore, the way back
Q4. Can you remember the day?
Q5. If you didn’t go, do you know someone who did?
Q6. Were you intending to go?
Q7. Do you know the way to San Jose? (Optional question)

Part two.
Q8. Did you know your name, before or after?
Q9. Did your language come first or second?
Q10. No! This isn’t Downing Street (so no answer needed)
Q11. Don’t start! (I know! The Chancellor's pad)
Q12. Could you write before you could print?
Q13. Do you feel lucky? (As in - "Did he fire six shots or only five?")
Q14. If you have 5 on one hand and 5 on the other hand! What do you have?
(If you answered two complete hands – go to the top of the class (and fall off))

Part three.
Q15. If you’ve read this as question number 15, then you’re correct and can continue.
Q16. What time is it? One minute after three of the clock post meridian
Q17. Now you’ve read this far, what did you expect?
Q18. Q18. Do you need glasses?
Q19. What is the correct phrase? The yolk of an egg is white, or the yolk of an egg are white
Q20. How fast are you running when you catch your breath?
Q1. Is this déjà vu?

No.

bloody hell! top marks already

I passed this one in 1966.

Q1 At least once a day
Q2 Only to San Jose
Q3 That was the first episode of Blake's 7
Q4 No, but I will never forget that night
Q5 See answer to Q1. I go at least once a day
Q6 Most of the time and, touch wood, I've never been caught short
Q7 see answer to Q2

Q8 More before than after
Q9 Hmm, tricky. A foreign tongue normally makes me come first
Q10 No answer
Q11 I refer my right honourable friend to the answer given to Q10
Q12 Potatoes
Q13 I feel lucky to be alive (and I'm glad I was never a punk)
Q14 More lines than the palm reader was expecting

Q15 I'm incorrect but I will continue nonetheless
Q16 Yes. It will always be that time somewhere in the universe
Q17 The unexpected
Q18 I've been drinking straight from the bottle and I seem to have double vision so some glasses would probably regulate my drinking and stop me from making a spectacle
Q19 Neither. They're both sentences not phrases
Q20 It depends on how many chillies I've eaten
Q1 I'm sure I've heard the answer to this one before...

Q7 only (since its optional)

Take the 10 freeway west to the 101 freeway, hang a right onto the 101 north, keep going till you see the San Jose exit signs.

Best to start some time around sunrise if you want a little daylight when you arrive.

Part one.

Q1. Have been or ever been - Don't know
Q2. Do you know the way? - Could do.
Q3. And therefore, the way back- Might do.
Q4. Can you remember the day? Try not to.
Q5. If you didn’t go, do you know someone who did? - my upstairs neighbour
Q6. Were you intending to go? - To the kitchen
Q7. Do you know the way to San Jose? (Optional question) - No I live in the Twilight Zone of Essex.

Part two.
Q8. Did you know your name, before or after? - Yes
Q9. Did your language come first or second? First
Q10. No! This isn’t Downing Street (so no answer needed)
Q11. Don’t start! (I know! The Chancellor's pad)
Q12. Could you write before you could print? No
Q13. Do you feel lucky? (As in - "Did he fire six shots or only five?") =When my neighbour is not playing up by being noisy
Q14. If you have 5 on one hand and 5 on the other hand! What do you have? - 10
(If you answered two complete hands – go to the top of the class (and fall off))

Part three.
Q15. If you’ve read this as question number 15, then you’re correct and can continue. Okay
Q16. What time is it? One minute after three of the clock post meridian - no the time on my PC says 17L14
Q17. Now you’ve read this far, what did you expect? Nothing much
Q18. Q18. Do you need glasses? - Yes I am long sighted
Q19. What is the correct phrase? The yolk of an egg is white, or the yolk of an egg are white - Neither
Q20. How fast are you running when you catch your breath? Moderately
Q1. Is this déjà vu? - It could be