h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

If I'm dead! how would I know.

ok! the next one will be my last breath.

I knew that was going to happen. (assuming your alive to say it)

I didn't see that coming. (large asteroid impact shock wave)

If I'd have known that! (but maybe I did and forgot)

If I'd have known then, what I know now (I'd have been dead years earlier)

At least I wont hear the noisy neighbours now.

It's nowt, I'm just a bit off colour.

Let'em try to get the money I owe them now.

Bugger! I've just thought of a joke.

I've six numbers up on the treble rollover national lottery draw.

Oi You! down the corridor, stop shining that light in my face, I'm an atheist.

Try and get the coffin lid on

Can you record Star Trek for me.

Eee! I feel like death warmed up.

It's nowt't laugh at,then agen.

Make sure you hide me wallet.





Ok folks! get your last words in for prosperity, someone will read 'em

Pancho Villa is supposed to have said "Tell them I said something clever".

last words
-
i wasnt born i was dragged out,
-
i never got the breaks in life to be rich and sucessful,
-
and when im no more, dont spend a fortune on a funeral, because i wont lol,wooden or paper box, no cars, bye jim

See I told you I didn't feel well

That was a bit to close.

It's not the cough that carries you off, its the coffin they carry you off in.

I've been here long enough

Hey Reefgirl! Isn't that the epitaph on Spike Milligans gravestone?

I was only looking...

Probably Scorpio witch, I knew I'd heard it somewhere

Been to a friend's funeral this afternoon. He will be much missed.

Haven't got anything to add at the moment.

Websailor

I'd rather be here than in Kansas (WC Fields' headstone)

Oh, no, not again!

Infamy, infamy, they've all got it in for me

Yes, Spike Milligan's gravestone has "Dúirt mé leat go raibh mé breoite" which is Irish and means "I told you I was ill".

Adams, John Quincy (1767-1848) "This is the last of earth! I am content."

I can't top Robert Louis Stevenson's epitaph (which he wrote of course) although I'd substitute she for he:

Under the wide and starry sky,
Dig the grave and let me lie.
Glad did I live and gladly die,
And laid me down with a will.

This be the verse you grave for me:
Here he lies where he longs to be;
Home is the sailor, home from the sea,
And the hunter home from the hill.

My husband's epitaph ain't bad
Stowaways Welcome

Fb

Seeing as Spike Milligan's got first dibs on my original line how about the line in my name

Heaven Doesn't Want Me And Hell's Afraid I'll Take Over

Think this is gonna keep me quiet! think again!

hopefully mine
a bit hard though, I've left me body to medical science - I've had a laugh with it - so carry on

"Bloody Ell; I've been worrying about Death all this time & it turns out to be so easy!"

zdt