h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

http://web.ukonline.co.uk/thursday.handleigh/humour/monty-python/poor.htm
http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=Xe1a1wHxTyo

Rait folks.
Monty Python had one of the best sketches ever -A bit of Yorkshire humour

But! I reckon that we on here can add to that, with ample more "We we'r so poor! that" parodies. So without breakin' house rules(tough)
how poor we'r you eh!


we we'r that poor that our dad used to skin us each day, co's we couldn't afford writing paper

We were that poor, hour ouse was stary Doc Martin left at dump-we add a permanent puncture too : so hour ouse was a flat bit of rubber on tip!

Try telling that to the k...........................

stary = stray Cockney?

We we're so poor that we dinny have a house, we lived in a discarded wet shoebox in the middle of a duel carrageway that we had to share with a family of imigrant earwigs....

you were posh then, we were that poor, we had to live in a licked out yoghurt tub, all 14 of us

LUXURY!!

We din't 'ave ay shelter, so when it rained, dad used to nail mother to a tree branch, and we used to tek turns to stand under her - all thirty seven ov us!

Luxary, we used to dram of a tree branch, ours got washed away by the flooding in the storm drain we had to live in, all 29 familys that shared the same leaky flood drain with no roof and no branch, and we had to lick the walls clean every morning just to have something to drink...

Luxury!!!

When I lived in Ashington up North, the real North in Northumberland there ten thousand of us living in the coal mines as were were too poor to afford the bus fare to work. We lived and worked in the coal mines and we ate coal for breakfast, lunch, high tea and supper. Aye, though were the days.

Oohaye, get you with your southern poncy ashington. We wer so poour we lived in te sea at the northern tip. None of ya fancy land and floors and ceilings for us!


\(that was a touch weak, but i'm determined to add something)

Owww you jammy beggah!


We used live under a stone on Margate beach and ever time the crab come home from pub, we were evicted , we sea as alrm clock every time it came in we used to get out of bed whether we felt like it or not - and none of us could swim so we add to make it pretty sharpish:-then again we used not get much sleep for we all worked 300 miles away, and had to walk each day--but we were happy!

we were that poooor we couldnt afford simposts , infact we didnt have post or postman , save what the seagulls dropped on us-after we'd them with a rock.

Luxary.

We used to dram of having our own stone to live under, when I were a lad we wer so poor that I and my 62 brothers and sisters each had to work 28 hours a day, getting up 4 hours from before we went to bed, well, bed, I say bed, it was more a bare patch of earth, the earwigs had eaten all the grass... and walk for hours to get to the sewage farm where'd we'd pay the owner 2 and 6 just for prevliedge of being able to clean out th ecess tanks....

I come from a family of timelords, 25 million of us, we all lived in a TARDIS which was the size of a tin can. We went to work before we were born and worked a millenium a day and had to save several million civilisations even before they came in existence before the end of the day. We were whipped by our Time Lords over lords at night to get us to sleep and we had to find our food in the middle of a black hole in the Delta quadrant every day.

We're so poor.......
We had to steal the dogs boneto make soup.

we were that poor, we had to vote labour and not conservative


if we were lucky, we got to smell a mint dad was sucking - that was our dinner

What you lot moanin about! Our only shelter was a discarded snail shell. Then we got evicted from that,we 'ad to go up the tip and lick the old paste off chucked out wallpaper. You think you had it bad! Me ma used to beat me up wiv the knuckle dusters if I forgot to wash up the leaves wot we used for plates. Considered meself dead lucky if I got an elastic band for me birthday. Best memory I got was when they gave me a paper clip. Coo that was exciting!

Dtha ownlee clip i ever add fir ma bierthdee werra clip roond ear.

Once got, two, black eyes: whata treat, that were!

Snails, we were that poor we never had a home atall, we never had no clothes come to think of it and dad, God bless im, sold our skins when we were born-by the time we were school age we were all Ameobas: so school wouldnt take us, coz we didnt used to stand up stright for long.

I like to think back on those days now, i think; it were aaard(acctturttchewally it were a kinda softish nondefined fromation of sorts, kinda hazy most days even with rudimentary senses), But!: we were loved!

Now try telling that, to folk and they would think you mid it all upp!

bunkum! 3 meals of fresh air a week and a cast away banana skin to wear, had to last 11 month as well or dad would kill us 4 times each


kids today no nowt

We used to dream of a the size of a tin can! Me and all my timelord brothers and sisters lived in a that was smaller on the inside than it was on the outside.

We were so poor that we lived in the bottom of a compost heap, me and my 4000 brothers, sisters, parents, uncles, aunts, neices, nephews, grandparents and our imaginery friends and neighbours. We ate rotting fruit and vegetables as well as maggots and other types of incests. We looked forward when warm dung was put onto the composite heap.