h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I can certainly vouch for Pot Noodles, yes indeedy!

In fact, I partook of this particularly questionable form of nourishment only last night. However, I find that I have to add something to the whole Pot Noodle experience just to make it a little more appetising. I usually add something like..er...food!

Probably the best thing to eat with a Pot Noodle is a French stick, chopped in half length-ways and lightly buttered with a thick layer of Marmite on top. Accompany this with a Beef & Tomato Pot Noodle (my favourite) and you have a feast fit for a king. Well, not a very fussy king, obviously. And a king that doesn't really have many friends. I mean, would you go to a feast where they served French bread, Marmite and Pot Noodles?

No, don't answer that!

Thanks
Blat

In addition to real food, I like to add other chemicals to make things really interesting...
Some ketsup, mustard, garlic powder or whatever is in my spice cabinet. Though one could ask why a person with a "spice cabinet" is eating dehydrated noodles and hot water!

I am intrigued by the idea of a spice cabinet. In England we tend to make do with spice racks because we are not quite as sophisticated as the rest of the world and have only a limited amount of spices to go around. My spice rack contains the following exotic ingredients; Hot Chille Powder, Crushed Corriander, Beef stock cubes, Guram Masala, Tumeric, Salt, Pepper, Powdered Ginger, Chinese Five Spices and a thing my mother gave which I haven't worked out what it is yet.

I cannot imagine what else I could have to fill an entire cabinet.

Please enlighten me.

Blat

From a brief glance at your list, I can see you are missing many of the important Italian spices - garlic, oregano, parsley, etc. You also seem to be missing asil and a few other dried herbs and leaves. As for the rest, I would have to look into the back of the cabinet and its dark and kind of scary there!

Ah...

...Garlic lives in my larder (which sounds really grand but is actually just a cupboard with corn flakes, coffee, onions, sugar, balsamic vinegar etc. in it oh and Pots Noodle of course or should that be Pot Noodles? erm?), and oregano, basil and parsley are growing in my garden.

I think I may be right in saying that oregano, basil and parsley are not really spices. I think they might be herbs...?

I also think that I may be falling into a deep deep sleep from which I might never wake u......................zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Bon soir!

You are both, of course, neglecting the new and inspired version of spices and herbs (yes, parsley, oregano etc are herbs), which may be found in the freezer cabinet of a good store NEAR YOU.
I think that the definition of a herb is something that is developed from the leaf of a plant, and a spice is from some other part of it, such as it's seed or bark. I have now bored myself and need to go and lie down.

Eating a Pot Noodle:
Take mouthful, chew, swallow.
Add hot water to rest, start again.

Take mouthful, chew, swallow.
Swallow again as it comes back up.
Turn head to left and vomit...

Good Eatin' !

Curiously, I found that Pot Noodles prevented vomiting rather than causing it.

In the days when I'd turn up to work with a hangover 4 or 5 times a week (I'm too old for that sort of behaviour now) that the most reliable way to cure it was to purchase a Pot Noodle or two and a couple of cans of Coke from the handily situated petrol station, a mere stone's throw from the office. It could have just been that the odours of my Pot Noodle made everyone else feel ill so I didn't feel so bad.

I felt the sympathy pains of a hangover coming on just reading that gastronomical trainwreck! What kind of psycho does that to their body?
I've always thought the best thing to do was eat the greasiest food possible - pizza with pools of liquid fat on top, pork chops, McDonalds - when hung over. That gets the regurgitation out of the way with a painless, pre-greased gullet. Pot Noodles and coke would burn going down AND coming back up...

Perhaps it's that thought that keeps everything down? I've never really thought about it before.

Apparently, one of the best ways to "cure" a hangover is to drink a pint of water before going to sleep.

A friend once who told me he was badly allergic to Pot Noodles. He said that after eating one he was violently sick with raging stomach pains for days. I managed to convince him that this probably just a coincidence and he would have been ill whatever he had eaten. I believed the were far too innocuous for this to happen to him after much persuasion he tried his second.
Anyway, he didn't half roll.

I myself always find, that Pot Noodle - this be fully or partly digested - are one of the major important ingredients in experiences such as hangovers at e.g. a rock festival.
The deepest and most exhausting experience is to eat the contents halfboiled, sitting in a field that stinks of fecies and listening to drunk swedes singing next door. All these impressions of sound and smell should repress the actual taste of the Pot Noodle, and one are therefore able to keep it inside of oneself...apparently...
Furthermore, one can use the tiny plastic container as an ashtray afterwards - and scigarettes are usually a good cure - against hangovers as well as drunk swedes and Pot Noodle.

They actually taste better if you use the small, plastic contianer as an ashtray BEFORE consuming the contents.

Now there's a way to make money. Chain-smoke, and sell fag ash for pot noodle in sachets!

Another friend was viciously tricked when work-mates replace his noodles with rubber bands and super-glued the lid back on.
The length of time it took for him to realise this was probably more to do with Pot Noodle expectations than being a bit thick.

These stories are both true by the way. I don't if that is more sad than being made up or not.

In my experience, superglue only sticks fingers to things, such as whatever you're trying to glue, the table, etc. This probably makes for a very interesting sight in hospitals.

Leads ones thougths to the food that is served in Danish hospitals....pot noodles with superglue probably would be regarded as a deliciousness for those who have had to lie in beds having other people stuffing food in their mouth for particularly long...
Why not help these poor people? E.g. by raising a fund craving pot noodle atleast twice a week to all patients, and even more to those who have stopped their chemotherapy, and only wish to die as quickly as possible...?

We've probably stumbled upon a new way
to administer the death sentence.
Following the old favourites like
The Chair, and leathal injection
comes Pot Noodle!

At least that way, you get to choose
which flavour finishes you off...