h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I had it all set up.

I created a gmail account which looked like it was from the kids' school. I sent an e-mail 'from the Head Teacher' to myself (also copied to their friend's mother, who was in on the act), reminding parents that children were to take an inflated balloon to school to allow them to take part in a record breaking balloon-popping attempt. So there they were, all ready to set off with their balloons.

Only, at the last minute...Adam discovered one of the guinea rabbits, keeled over and stiff as a board. Somehow, the moment seemed lost, under the circumstances.

Oh, no, the poor little thing. The kids must be pretty upset.

Adam certainly was. It almost made me want to tell him that Patch had gone to heaven to be with the Little Baby Jesus.

I gave him a decent burial in the wheelie bin. Patch, that is, not Adam.

Meanwhile...someone we know has had his green crayon out again and has had an answer published in the Grauniad's 'Notes and Queries'.

Unfortunately, the actual printed feature doesn't appear to be available online.

You'll just have to rush out and buy some dead tree.

Alternately:

Q. What evolutinary reason could there be for our capacity to appreciate beauty?

A. Our ability to appreciate beauty is a necessary side-effect of our conscious mind. There are clear evolutionary benefits to consciousness. However, consciousness also confers the realisation that our lives our nasty, brutish and short and hence there is a danger that we might rationally conclude that it's best to get it over and done with as soon as possible. Our propensity for suicide, unique amongst species, potentially limits our breeding potential. Fortunately for our genetic survival, our ability to appreciate beauty provides an antidote. From time to time as we gaze at the world around us, we think "Isn't this nice? I think I'll stay here a while." Indeed, we are even driven to create our own examples of beauty to give one another further reasons to remain alive. Ain't DNA marvellous?

Sorry for the loss of your guinea rabbit Ed, and evil plan.

That's some explanation. Not to mention a fantastically socialist approach for the tortured artiste.

I got a Q&A published in the Times; you can read it here, under "Careers in ruins". http://www.britarch.ac.uk/BA/ba78/column1.shtml

Ah poor little bugger. If it helps my nephew has a guinea pig with several buns in the oven. If you find yourself in Iowa, I’m convinced my sister would let you have one – or two. No really.

Nice pictures you have on that website by the way. I take snapshots, sometimes I get lucky but then I see what real photographers can do and get put in my place.

PS. I know what launchball is.

isn't it? Last Sarurday we got to play a prize-winning student-designed game from China called 'Bear Go Home' at the Edinburgh Science Festival. Downloadable from http://www.daretobedigital.com

about the pictures. I'm way overdue uploading last year's. The trick is that digital photography lets you take thousands of snaps and select the random few that worked.

I'll have to check it out when I get home and away from the corporate sponsored internet . There was one I think called grow that consumed me until the intervention.

This is a friend of mine’s brother’s picture he entered in a contest. It almost made me put away the camera: http://www.outdoorphotographer.com/wintercontest/gallery-lg.php?gal=Winter&id=3948#j

That's rather good! He's clearly got the trick of knowing what to point a camera at.

Wow. It's quite a balancing act if you want a long shutter time but not too much light / short shutter time and enough light.

His kung fu is beyond mine. I end up with one or two decent shots but mostly what I have are 'this is what ____ looked like when I happened to be there' sort of pictures. A real photographer does things that I just don’t have the patience for like sit in a field all day waiting for some critter to come by or worse get up at the crack of dawn to make sure the lighting is right.

I have now hooked my boss up with launchball. Worse, I told him that I got stuck on the one with the mirrors and the torch on one of the levels. He’s an engineer. I suppose we’ve seen the last of him for the day. I should have waited until tomorrow and used it as a sling shot towards sneaking out early.

Oh, the Light Maze! That one's sneaky. I keep falling millimeters short of the goal after going all up and down and across the maze.

Never mind...I'm addicted to something else now (see above).

And speaking of pet rodents...have I told the story of my newfie flatmate, from when I was in Canada?

He used to bring home all sorts of pets - finches, guppies. One day he brought a couple of rats. And very cute they were! He was showing them to me:
'I've got two rats, eh? This one's a male, eh? And this one's a female, eh?'
'But...don't rats breed like wildfire?'
'I've thought of that, eh?...They're brother and sister, eh?'

Eh?!!

Before you knew it, the girl rat was pregnant...and he was building a partition across their cage.

Anyway...the funeral directors came today and tipped Patch's wheelie bin into the back of their lorry.

Ashes to ashes. or.. All we are is dust in the bin.

Hashish to ashes.

Funk to funky.
We know Edward's a cheeky monkey.

Aw..sorry to hare of the loss and of course April fools plan... better luck next year.

Nice falls picture.