h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Let me amend the brief entry on driving in Chicago. It is getting to be more true that you have to gun it through a yellow light, but it is still acceptable to actually stop at the yellow. In the places I have lived further east, New England especially, if you stop when you see a yellow light someone will just slam into you from behind. In Boston, it is assumed that the first two cars can go through the red light.
Also, when you are turning left at a light in Chicago, after the light turns green, you wait in the middle of the intersection for the oncoming cars to pass you, however many there are, before you turn. If the light turns red before there is a break in traffic, you then turn, quickly. (Always watching out for the idiot who guns through the yellow coming towards you.)
Turn signals really are used, mostly, though many people have never gotten used to the law that says you should signal a lane change, but that law has only been on the books for twenty five years or so, so you can’t expect people to adapt that quickly. In North Carolina, where I lived for six years, most people are unaware that their cars are equipped with turn signals.
So Chicago driving is really very courteous and responsible, assuming you know all the proper obscene hand gestures, and that you can move at all in the heavy traffic.

Travelers beware.....you must muddle through driving in Chicago on your own!! No matter how impossible it seems at first, perservere! Whatever you do, DO NOT GET INTO A CHICAGO CAB!!! A Chicago driver once told me that those numbers on the cabs represent the number of accidents they've caused.

Better yet - take the el

Many of the aforementioned comments seem to apply to the streets of Chicago nicely. However, being one who has disguised himself as a person who drives in and around Chicago for a living, i have made several observations that i will note now. First, the term 'freeway' can not be applied to most of the interstates here, as most are tollways. The math system in Chicago is strange once you enter one of these tollways also. It seems that the tollways were paid off some 20 years ago and still require another 17 years before they will be paid off at the same time. Second, The posted speed on these tollways is typically ranging from 45 - 60 but expect that if you actually reach these speeds you will find yourself hitting another persons car forcefully in the rear end. Rush hour in Chicago has taken on a new meaning. No matter what time of day you decide to go anywhere in Chicago, you will find traffic. Third, construction seems to be a hobby of the natives here. They seem to find great joy in tearing down perfectly useful roads to build more elaborate roads to be torn down at a later date. The person who invented the mystical orange barrels has made his fortune from the Illinois Depr. of Transportation alone. They construction gods here also seem unable to finish a project before starting another one. Fourth, as a way to increase population, the local government, at some time in the past, has taken it upon themselves to confuse visitors and residents alike by not using the assigned interstate numbers but instead have named roads for dead people. I believe that people come to the city, on a road, say Interstate 90, and can't find their way out again because the road suddenly becomes the Dan Ryan.

A few points:
One: A friend of mine who is a licensed professional engineer told me that the state of Illinois is rushing to spend the tobacco settlement money on as much road work as it possibly can before this windfall disappears. This means a lot of inconvenience, but our infrastructure is genuinely horrible (one stretch of road over a quarry has been shut down, probably permanently, because much more driving would make it collapse), so it's probably just as well. So watch out for the road work. Try to check your itinerary before you go, because if you haven't been there in a while it you could well find yourself trying to negotiate a construction site.
Two: Where there is road construction (or any other kind), there will be bombers. They are small, squat trucks with high sides. "Hi-Bilt" is one of the most common makes. NEVER GET IN THEIR WAY. They're full of building materials, & though they're not big, they're heavy enough to be deadly. You could be thrown a block or two in a crash.
Three: When entering the intersection after the light turns green, ASSUME SOMEONE WILL BE RUNNING THE RED LIGHT. I suppose someone else here must have said this already, but it can't be repeated enough.