A Conversation for International Driving Etiquette

Driving in Texas

Post 1

There is only one thing worse than being Gosho, and that is not being Gosho

Driving in Texas is simple. There are two speeds - stop, and goveryfast. Goveryfast should be reached as soon as possible, which means that everyone floors the gas pedal when the lights turn green, and be kept up for as long as possible, which means that everyone brakes very late and very hard at a red light. The steering wheel isn't for changing direction, it's a handily positioned armrest. Nobody uses both hands to drive. It is mandatory under state law to make all turns one-handed and to make the tyres screech. Everyone drives in the outside lane until they need to make a turn, when they cut across all lanes of traffic. In fact, any manoeuvre should made at the last possible moment. The reason they do this is because they know full well that no other bugger is going to let them in - indicating a lane change to make a turn is just a reminder to other motorists that they're driving too slowly and are not close enough to the car in front. Every other vehicle in Texas is either a pick up, a people carrier (minivan), or a 4x4 (S.U.V), and they're all big. If you don't drive one of those, you're 'little people' and should be run off the road for not being a true Texan and driving the biggest gas-guzzling pedestrian killing cyclist maiming 0-60 in 7 seconds bull-bar wielding urban assault vehicle on the market. Flashy sports cars don't count for much here. Tailgating is also mandatory. If you're so far from the car in front that you can get more than the thickness of a razor blade between the two vehicles, you're not doing it right. Ever been tailgated at 70mph..... by an ambulance? You're also not doing it right if you're not on the phone to someone. I drove a delivery van in London for 13 years, and I thought I knew all there was to know about impatient, agressive, selfish, mean spirited, petty minded, arrogant driving until I moved to Texas - it's a full three levels higher than London on the scary scale.

Driving in Texas

Post 2


A real problem happens to be when cautious drivers from out of state get on Texas highways. The speed limit here is the speed traveled in the SLOW lane. Go slower, you get run over, cause wrecks, and other sorts of general nastiness. Unless, of course, a cop is visible, at which point all traffic slows to at least 10 miles an hour below the speed limit, including the fast lane. Also, we tend to get out of the way of Emergency vehicles... it avoids tailgating.

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