h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't believe you are half as innocent as you're implying. You know what you said

Moi?

Who you? Couldn't be! Then who? Yeah, you!

...

...


...

*slams head on table*

drat...almost had that darn fly!

Supermoo, you're a creamy blueberry muffin of laughs!

[Screcrow Stan]: "Shows up with a long-ish tailed bandana tied over his head."
*Realizes he has just inverted it and said what he did and did what he said.*

"Oh, um hi. Is this where I can get some barbecue sauce, and if so... then are you still upset about those file-cabinets I took and used to make swords from the metal they were made of?"

*Thinks about it, before handing EvilClaw a shiney and silvery looking ticket that says, Tiki Trader: Raffle ticket.*

"That there will get you in free to the raffle I am going to have over at my hut on Skull Island. The grand prize winner gets something nifty. I have to get rid... ,- distribute some of the remainder of an odd inventory of merchandise I er,- I guess you could say took off of someone el-, er... it was outside of their hands."

*Thinks that sounds like a very witty way of putting it.*

"You know, barbecue sauce could be a powerful bargaining chip, and if I didn't know any better, I'd say you'd known I had a pile of meat I was planning on roasting anyway."
Places a piece of paper that says "First semi-Unusual Pirate CookOff" on it.

"No, we don't roast eachother. It's kind of like a contest sort of. You'll see..."

Thorn, I seldom know what you're talking about. So I just smile and nod.

[Stan]: *Is unsure of how the alias hadn't worked*

"Er, why-here I'm ScareCrow Stan... the traveling merchant man. I've got a plan, I'll sell it to ya, when I can."
*Tries to come up with a catchy bit of a jingle.*
...
*Is still working on it*

*was still working on it when EvilClaw stole his wallet, robes, and identity*

: I've been trying to get this movie-clip to load that was at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqS4-zlJLS8&search=Vincent , but on dialup it takes one hell of a long time.
[Scarecrow Stan]: "Fine then. If that's how it's to be I'll take that plumed hat, and er..."

*scrounges together a makeshift outfit*
"Thanks alot. Avast ye cotton swabs, stoppita thief."

*Brandishes a mop*
"Gimme that tattered cloak back, it had me keys..."

Overboard I go! *jumps into a lifeboat*

"Nice for me that I kept the cork that was the plug to the little hole in the bottom of the boat for dredging the water out when its on land."


"I'll give it to ya, but only under the constructs of a deal. Hmm..."

: That was rather low of me, so instead, in the opted choice of giving a sporting chance scratch that for...

*Stan dives and swims after the rowboat.*
"Argh... now me clothes and my livelihood too. That's a bit much. I'm a good swimmer, you may have to row a bit faster."

Well Thorn, you have to remember one thing: What is rocket propulsion but controlled combustion and if theres one thing I'm good at its combusting stuff.

"There was something else in the pocket to my cloak you probably wouldn't have figured to take into account..."
}Glub, glub{

"It was Qwi, my pet raven that has a garbage-mouth in old-english and knows mussed up tavern verses... no wait, that wasn't it, there was that, it was something else."

"Well, let's see, there was that, mind you there is a reason I couldn't remember, oh yeah, that's right... it had a bottle of live fleas inside, please do be careful... I think it was fragile."

Stan is getting a little flustered, but still hasn't given up.
"There is no Identification card, that was fake. I think it wasn't water-proofed yet either."

Escape is mine! *blows up lifeboat*

"Darn,- good thing my wallet was empty, oh well... Have to get another cloak." *Swims over to the Island and lies soggy and tired for awhile on the shore for a bit* http://www.bbc.co.uk/dna/h2g2/brunel/F2087598?thread=2355814&latest=1

whoa whoa whoa...combustion?...according to my nametag...that's currently my shtick...apearently being a pyromaniacle unicucumber or something of the sort...