h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Once you have been trapped by the immense gravity of the black hole you better stop thinking of how to get out of it, and start thinking about how you want to be remembered. The closer you get to the event horizon of a black hole the slower time will seem to be going from anyone looking in from a safe distance. According to Albert Einstein large amounts of gravity affect time. The stronger the gravity, the slower time seems to go. The gravity at the edge of of the event horizon is so strong that time seems to stop completely to the observers from far away. So just remember to smile when you enter into the black hole, because that smile will be the last thing you do, and it will be there forever.
On second thought, don't stop trying to get out. With that sort of gravity you'll be pulled into a single file line of atoms way before you can get comfortable enough to smile.

What if one was to smile sideways? eh? eh?

no, that isn't correct. I thought that since you are moving very fast while being sucked in, close to the speed of light, everything else would seem to move very slow. Therefore, to them you would be moving very fast (close to the speed of light, as said before).

Oh, and I love the ending to that post. Best ever.