h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I've decided to see whether I can manage a journal a day for a week before I commit to writing a journal a month. So here's today's effort; it involves the local wildlife in an awkward conjunction with public transport. Tomorrow's journal will be vaguely political. Did I say 'vaguely'? I meant 'blatantly'.

Anyway. On with the show, as it were.

There's a lot of magpies around here. Australian magpies, that is. They're aggressive and territorial when they're nesting and before their chicks are fully-fledged, which of course is what happens in Spring so they're especially feisty right now. Here's a media item with a lovely photo: http://www.smh.com.au/environment/animals/blood-and-feathers-sydneys-angry-birds-take-their-toll-20110923-1kobr.html It's a Sydney story rather than a Canberra story but you get the idea.

I haven't been swooped this Spring, but there are a couple of nests between home and the bus stop so I do try to be inconspicuous in the morning when I leave home. This morning the dear little feathery things all ignored me, which probably means they're used to my routine. I caught the 6:35am bus without incident.

Two blocks further on, the driver stopped abruptly then drove on at walking speed. I looked up from my book and saw a kangaroo just by the front door. It was a young male, adolescent I suppose, doing what adolescent males do - roaming around aimlessly. He seemed to be alone, and a little confused, and was hopping here and there with no particular destination in mind. Sometimes he was on the road, sometimes on someone's front lawn, briefly in a carport, and once right on top of someone's azaleas with significant effect.

The bus driver kept crawling along. The last thing anyone needed was a panicked roo crashing through a window. Roos do panic easily.

And this is where the magpies come in. One of the local magpies has no problem with people, but a confused roo was strange enough to annoy it. So the roo got swooped, which made it panic, which drove it onto the road where a magpie from the other side of the street joined in.

There was a running (hopping/flying) battle for the next 300 metres. A small car had a lucky escape, the roo crashed through a 'For sale' sign and wrecked a hydrangea bush, the magpies persisted... Then the roo almost crashed into a jogger who was somehow oblivious to all of this - I'm not sure if she was more startled than the roo or not, just as I'm not sure who had the greater intellect.

The magpies retreated. The roo stopped in someone's driveway, trembling slightly. The bus drove off around the corner at that point so I have no way of knowing what happened next but the poor dopey thing was only another 50 metres from a grassy bit of parkland. I hope he went there and had a good lie down.

The kangaroo looked in need of a hug to be honest, but that's the last thing one should do with a wild animal that's as tall as oneself. So I let the opportunity go.

The rest of the day was quite dull by comparison.

Ivan.

This made mw smile.

What an exciting life you live, Ivan.

I'm thinking of the journal a day thing too but having read your first effort I'm reconsidering. NOTHING exciting ever happens to me.

Keep them coming and I'll keep reading them.

Of course exciting things happen to you, Fizzy. You live somewhere that gets RAIN - gosh, that's exciting, at least to me. Sure, we're out of the decade of drought, but the rainfall figure for the year so far is looking a bit worrying...

Ben, I must admit I smiled too, but that's mostly because I don't much like azaleas.

Certainly not much like the 'magpies' I was raising as pets, northern Nevada, during late sixties, tamer than chickens.

http://www.sdakotabirds.com/species/black_billed_magpie_info.htm

Closest match for the behavior of the Australian magpie I've seen with American birds is the much smaller Mockingbird.

http://www.lsjunction.com/bird.htm

This particular bird is actually found all through north America except in tropical and artic climates, from Mexico to Canada.

I've seen them swooping marauding house cats in California many times.

In Georgia, I had an experience with a flock that was apparently incensed because I'd fed a cold and hungry looking feral cat.

I was followed the remainder of the day by mockingbirds giving me a non-stop tongue-lashing.

On the days that followed, observing the cat, I noticed that the mockingbirds always had at least one bird posted directly above the cat, keeping up a constant alarm, no matter where it moved.

Their cries are often mimetic, representing imitations of other sounds they've heard.

I've never heard of one swooping a human being, but wouldn't be surprised if a mocking bird did that having been severely provoked by incursions on nesting areas.

My journey to work - with only moronic drivers to worry about (and not too many of those) seems positively tame in comparison.

How very fascinating, Ivan. The wildest animal I've recently seen was a pheasant, and he ran off when I stopped to take a photo.

I may see à magpie (pica pica) or two on my way to work, but never a kangaroo. You live an exciting life, Ivan

When young the hatchlings were keen on rescuing birds with broken legs or wings etc. One summer one of their protectees was a young magpie they named "Hubert" who more or less became part of the family as the summer went on. Even after recovery he stayed around, nicking shiny things from the neighbours and hiding them in the drains (?) (semicicular tubelike gadgets at the end of the roof to collect rain water).

Due to some narrow minded neighbours Hubert had to be relocated before we were sure he could feed himself. Probably he didn't make it.

"The kangaroo looked in need of a hug to be honest, but that's the last thing one should do with a wild animal that's as tall as oneself."


That reminds me of a lost weekend I spent at Pebbly Beach, sometime in the early eighties.

The roos there are used to being fed by picknickers, so when what seemed to me to be an average sized kangaroo approached and rested his paws, one on each shoulder, I wasn't at all alarmed.

I didn't have any food to offer, so we just stared at each other for a while - I'm thinking what a beautiful, scruffy animal it was, and he wondering when the nosh would mysteriously appear.

Then, as I stretched out my hand to stroke him, he rose up to his full height and, for some reason, the word disembowel came to mind...

He didn't do it, but.

oh gosh you're making me miss Can'tberra

mmm journal a day?..how many would be interested in what stock I am shelving right now?

although....I suppose I could journal, the rather odd and, how should I put this?....'speshul snowflake' customer incidences, and holly sheep have I had some dozzies.

looking forward to tomorras journal

Contrary to common belief (in many other parts of the world that is) the polar bears do not roam the streets of my little Danish town

And it's only 200 steps from my humble abode to my office

And since I start w*rking every morning at 6am i hardly ever meet anything, let alone anybody on my way to w*rk

Were I to meet a roo I would walk straight home and call in sick

That's my life in a nutshell, I guess

I just get hordes of students, and drivers who don't know how to deal with cyclists...

for a proper read later. Pleased to see you by the way.

Websailor

Oh good grief, that story made me laugh. And you really do have a way of telling them, Ivan. *wipes tears from eyes*

I've never seen a kangaroo that big- at least, the ones at the zoos here that I've seen didn't *look* that big. Then again, from several hundred feet away maybe they just look smaller. But they do look quite muscular and I wouldn't want one annoyed with me.

The most exciting wildlife I encounter on the way to work are squirrels and birds and perhaps, during autumn when it's still quite dark when I leave, the occasional bat. There was a coyote in the area once, and every once in a while when we head out in the morning, we'll get a whiff of a skunk that a neighbor's dog has apparently startled.

A wonderful journal, Ivan, thank you for sharing.

"I'm not sure if she was more startled than the roo or not, just as I'm not sure who had the greater intellect." - that set me up with a laugh for the morning!

And now, an awkward post where I try to reply to everyone at once. This is where timezones cause trouble.



ITIWBS - your mockingbirds sound more like jeering birds, really.

Johnny, Mala - I note moronic drivers are a common theme in people's commuting experiences. Mine too, in between buses, but there are also dopey cyclists out there. The other day there was one on Canberra's main axis road (Helly - Northbourne Ave) who was riding hands-free and talking to someone on the phone. The mind boggles.

Bel, I've only ever seen pheasants in the zoo...

Dq - it's a pity about Hubert. Our magpies don't take shiny things, by the way, they're only interested in blood as far as I can tell.

Rudest Elf - I can assure you that the roos at Pebbly Beach are unchanged. They might be different animals but the behaviour is constant. They do a good job of acting tame until the very last moment. But they do look cute with their toes in the ocean.

Helly - yes, do tell us about the special customers. I know there are odd people out there, let's hear about them. Are people stranger in Perth than in Canberra? Is this possible?

Pierce - would you like to meet a roo? Maybe I could post you one, and whenever you want a day off you could look at it and then call in sick...

Webbie - It's good to see you too.

Pc - the thing with roos is that they're usually all hunched over. When they stretch themselves up they're completely different animals. Fascinating, but alarming.

Hoggy - I've been thinking about it. The roo was definitely smarter than the jogger, even though roos aren't great thinkers.



I think that was everyone...

Gosh but it's nice to see so many people reading what I come up with. Thanks.

The pleasure is mine, goodly Sir!

Yesterday the Queen went to see some kangaroos that have lived in the grounds of the Governor-General's residence. None of them crashed into her or attempted to kick her, and the magpies left her alone too. This was a bit of a relief, to be honest - imagine if HM had been swooped, and what the tabloids might have made of it.

I just put a picture in my paper of the queen meeting the basketball queen of oz. Both look nice by the way