h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*snuggles Ivan & passes him an olive & teeny weeny convenient voddy to keep him going through hospital ordeal*

Right you two, carry on sucking each others cherries.

zdt

I think my cherry popped.

Sounds rather untidy...

and a tad painful!

Hi Ivan, How did the visit to the go? I hope he/she was sympathetic.

Take care,

Websailor

My was nice to me. She gave me written confirmation that I needed time off w*rk, which will put the boss back in his box.

In grandmother news, I can report that Mum has found her a nursing home. It's run by a local Italian community charity, and as Mum rightly points out, 'if there's one group that will do their utmost to be good to old people, it's the Italians'. There's one bit of ethnic stereotyping that I've never seen contradicted. (The food will be tasty, too, compared to the bland hospital stuff.) The old girl moves in on Monday.

I hope that the move goes smoothly, and that they take excellent care of her.

And thay you're able to get that much-needed rest and are feeling better yourself, soon, too.

The idea of quietly fading out to spaghetti, sympathetic Mommas & probably drop dead gorgeous young male nurses appeals to me; please book me in also.

This sounds like an ideal solution, so hopefully you & mum can breathe a sigh of relief now. You deserve it.

zdt

The odd thing is that my *other* grandmother used to live about three minutes' walk from this place. I lived in her house for a year while we settled her estate, so I know the area and know exactly where this home is. Back in those days - circa 1990 - it was a plant nursery. From nursery to nursing-home - there's a certain something about that transition. Or at least I find it interesting... but I'm in an odd mood at the moment.

I would see it as quite comforting. Both places care for fragile type things.

I'm in an odd mood too. I think we maybe get to a stage of emotional overload. "Press button B for refund" time.

zdt

Ivan, good news on both counts then. Make the best of your time off.

You are so lucky to get her in a nursing home so quickly. Over here the paperwork would take forever, and as they have closed many private and council homes it is a nightmare.

I hope she settles in and behaves herself though it doesn't sound very likely. Still one volatile nationality looking after another should mean they understand her better!!


Take care,

Websailor

I think it's a good thing that she's ended up with another ethnic minority group. The mainstream isn't her place at all. It never was.

Another good thing about this home is that they're not demanding an extortionate entry fee, or 'accommodation bond' as the jargon has it. (Once upon a time these things were subsidised; the present vile government has opened up the aged-care sector to profit-making companies. Some people have made millions out of the elderly.) Mum made enquiries at one place and found that they wanted $60,000 within a fortnight as the entry price. (There are others that ask up to $130,000.) These lovely Italian people want nothing of the sort, just a reasonable per diem charge that will be easily covered by the old girl's pension. So I think we got lucky. There's no way the family could find $60,000 in a hurry...

Ivan, I wouldn't name them here, there would be queues round the block. Sounds brilliant, and must have made your Mum feel a whole lot better.

Can you book me and my other half places please.

Websailor

It was a *huge* relief to all of us to find a place that didn't want huge amounts of cash out of someone who's on a full Government pension.

I should explain - pensions under our system are based on a person's income and assets apart from the house they live in; it's nothing to do with contributions or anything like that. Practical Socialism, really. So basically, someone who's on a full pension has nothing else. My grandmother has the house and nothing else, and the house doesn't count as an asset for the first two years that she's in a nursing home. If she's in for longer than that, we'll have to sell the place - but at least we don't have to rush to sell immediately.

(Does anyone else want to be on the waiting-list? Maybe we should book an entire wing.)

Hello my sweetie pie

Book me in now, this very minute please. It's actually honestly a total nightmare after "a certain age" if you don't have pension & absolutely no family.

for having tracked down such a good place.

Can i have that room on the corner with the soundproofing please. Never too old to rock n roll.

zdt