h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Here are a load of English expressions and slang words that you don't appear to have yet. Where I know the derivation, I've given it. Otherwise, I have no idea!

Mad as a hatter - Hatters used antimony to stiffen the felt, which is very toxic. Madness was an occupational hazard.

Mind your P's and Q's :
In Old England, drinks were served in both Pints and Quarts. When the publican wanted ask people to control their drunken behaviour, he would tell them to mind their P(int)s and Q(uart)s.

"It's looking a bit black over Bill's mother's." There's a storm brewing.

"Paint the town red" Has anybody got any idea what this means?

Sweet FA. In the 30's or 40's. A black serial killer abducted a young girl called Fanny Adams and the police never found any trace of her because the serial killer had eaten her or something like that. So when we say 'sweet FA' we mean 'nothing'.

'It's like Pearl Harbour' today. Meaning that it is cold. Similarly, 'there's a Nip in the air'.

Quiz: 19th century bet in Dublin between two well to do West Brits (Irish expression for the 3% of southern Irish who are Protestant. One bet the other that within two weeks he could invent a new word and have the whole of Dublin talking about it. The bet was for a tenner, loads of money in those days. They agreed on the bet and on the word Quiz - meaning a set of questions making up a test (obviously). The guy then went to the poor kids and paid them a penny each to write the word in as many places as possible. Soon enough all of Dublin was talking about this word and what the hell it meant. When he came clean it made the papers in Ireland and England and a new word was born. However, he never got to keep his winnings as he was fined exactly a tenner for encouraging public vandalism.

Boycott: Another West Brit landlord, Lord Boycott, who was particularly obnoxious to his tenants so they decided to ignore him completely as a protest.

Gander (to take a look) - no idea, perhaps rhyming slang?

Pissed as a newt - no idea

Drunk a a lord - no idea

Sent to Coventry (nobody speaks to you). Where does this come from?

'Above the salt' and 'below the salt' go back to Roman times, where only people of a certain rank were allowed to use the precious substance.

Toe the line - something to do with duels or similar pugilistic behaviour where opponents had to face one another ?

3 square meals a day - this comes from the Navy in the days of sail when the ratings' meals were served on square wooden plates (learnt that one during a trip around HMS Victory last year).

'beyond the pale' Any ideas anybody?

On tenterhooks (ie on edge) - something to do with butchers?

Bricking it (ie scared) - no idea

Enough blue sky to make a Dutchman's trousers, enough blue sky to mend a sailor's trousers. Meaning: there's some blue sky after a storm. I believe that this is a reference to the large baggy trousers worn by old-time Dutchmen (renowned sailing traders).

"flash in the pan". This occurred when a flintlock rifle misfired and the explosion took place in the pan (where the small secondary charge was laid) rather than the barrel.

Why has a "French letter" got nothing to do with writing ?
Incidentally, the French equivalent is "une capote anglaise".

Going Dutch. Meaning to pay equal shares. I don't know the derivation, but the Dutch call it "Going Ameican" or "American party", and the Italians call it "Going Roman".

Vandals, vandalism. Meaning, somebody who destroys things for fun. The Vandals were a tribe back in Roman times. They sacked Rome over and over again for 200 years but never took much, just wrecked stuff for the fun and as much gold as they could carry on a horse (they were nomadic after all, so a 200 pound marble statue presented a bit of a problem).

Dutch courage: Courage that comes from an alcoholic drink. This came from Dutch soldiers who used to have a shot of jenever (gin) before going into battle.

Oh yeah, some more from the 1500s

"Don't throw the baby out with the bath water". (Don't throw the good things out with the bad). In the 1500s, at bathtime (typically once a year in May), the man of the house
had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and
men, then the women, and finally the children used the same tub. Last of all came the
babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose
someone in it.

"Upper Crust" (upper class). Bread used to be divided according to status. Workers got the burnt
bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the "upper crust".

Here we go again...

Chelsea Smile - I thought it was a Chelsea Grin.
Chunter - To complain or whine about something. One bloke I know referred to these people as "Chunter Monkeys"
Give your right arm/eye teeth for something - want it really badly
Getting Arsey - getting obnoxious or obstinate
Loafing - Being lazy or making no effort.
Lounge Lizard - someone loafing (qv)
Ligging/Ligger - Someone who turns up at events just to sponge free food or drinks.
Nark - see nonce
Bunch of Arse - (from Loaded) Not very good
Good Work Fella - (also from Loaded) Very good
Ring Stinger - very strong curry
Welly - To hit something very hard
Lamp - To hit very hard, too (especially a person).
Kosher - Right. Good. Real.
Fit (in relation to women) - rather nice looking
Blow chunks - to be sick.
Feck - Father Jack's Gaelic curse.
Doughnut - a bit of an idiot
Let the dog see the rabbit - I'm raring to go
Uppity (don't get all .....) - holier-than-thous
So-and-so can Pucker up and kiss my arse - Someone has a lot of apologising to do.
Pisshead - person who drinks a lot
Piss Polo - Game where you try to move the little toilet fresheners around a urinal.
Waz - to go to the toilet e.g. "I'm just off for a waz"
Game on! - See "Let the dog see the rabbit"
Result! - Something good happened
Tops/Top Banana - Something really good happened.
Jam Sandwich - a police car (White with a red and yellow stripe down the middle).
Pig/Fuzz/Filth - Police officer
Sorted - Ok.
Dooberries/wotsits - Something you can't find a name for.
Bought the farm - Die. I think this is something to do with American test pilots. I think it was that their families were bought a plot of land if they died.
The whole 9 yards - From (I think) WWII. If you were in a plane, firing a machine gun, and you wanted to really obliterate your target, you fired off a whole reel of ammo, which measured 27 feet (or 9 yards).
Cash in your chips/Kick the bucket - Die.
Shufty - A look.
Wasted - (esp. elegantly) to be tired/drunk/hungover
Yo-yo knickers - woman of dubious virtue.
Bust a bloodvessel - exert a great effort.
Fanny Magnet - Something which attracts the ladies, e.g. sportscar.
Playing Suckface/snogging - Kissing

Alternative for the whole nine yards:
If you were having a suit made you could either have a full three peice or just a jacket and trousers. The former was made up from 9 yards of cloth.
This is also a possible (though much disputed) origing for "The full monty" being a full suit from Monty Burton...thus in the film of the same name, going the full monty meant removing all ones togs.

To paint the town red is to go on a good night out.
Beyond the pale comes from the English occupation of Ireland, around 1500 . The Pale was a large stockade around Dublin, everything inside was civilised, everything outside was wild, barbaric, or so they thought at the time

...and you don't need a wind break to break wind (meaning to fart)

I don't mean things like Boycott & Wellington which have become part of the accepted dictionary, but names like Charlie, for an idiot,John for a punter, Hooray Henry for an upper-class lout, Ron for a sexually repressed chap{from the radio programme "Take it from Here"), Juliansandy for an obvious gay(from "Round the Horne - another radio prog) and Kevin for a simpleton.
Then there's Sharon and Trace.

One to add on poor, sweet Fanny Adams. She was in fact a Hampshire child who was murdered in the early 19th century somewhere near Portsmouth. Only parts of her were ever found and the case received a lot of publicity in the Naval town. Sailors being sailors, the unidentifiable and unpleasant canned meat ration was quickly assumed to be the victim's missing parts. Thus the phrase, which has presumably maintained popularity from its initials being mistakenly perceived as standing for something more obviously crude..