h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just woke up...yesterday's skydiving was great...although the trip up there was a blast as well...I rode with several friends, whom I shall refer to as Bill, Bob, and Jimmy Buffet, from UNCA in Bill's truck...me and Jimmy Buffet were in the back seat...which despite being small was actually pretty comfortable once you found a good position. anywho...Bill's truck made mine look like it's in perfect condition: the horn button in the middle of the steering wheel is missing, the windshield is cracked in two places from where some 2x4's hit it when he put them through the back window, the gas gauge doesn't work, it's dented big time (although it doesn't seem like it's from wrecks...just backing up to far into a pole or things bumping into it), among other things. we joked around and sang along to Queen for almost the entire ride to another friend's house, whom I shall call Shakaka...when it started getting dark and Bill flipped the position of the rearview mirror, Bob flipped it back...so all of a sudden Bill grabs it and rips it off...of course it's one that was at one time probably bolted on but it also has a hook on it so he put it back in later...so anywho...we had a quartet going on the whole way singing to Queen...which I definately need to go get the Greatest Hits CD...I love those songs...anywho...Bill's truck, despite being beat up, is apearently really reliable as it didn't quit on us at all despite having all four of us in it and going up hill(it apearently has a regular V6 in it instead of one like mine so in order to maintain speed going up the hills he had to have the petal pushed all the way down...anywho...after about a two hour sing-along we finnally got to Shakaka's house...we played pool and watched TV...and then I fell asleep for awhile and apearently his younger sister, who I never actually met but everyone says is really anoying, apearently came in and was poking me...although I didn't wake up so I suppose she got bored...anywho...the next morning another loony/jummper came who I will call Cho-simba-one, he also was the bus driver, and we all piled into the bus and...yet again...sang to Queen as well as a bunch of other stuff...I really wish I had remembered to bring my CD's...we could have sung along to oldies......and Bob's girlfriend, who I will call Sally Forth, took to calling me Hippy-Boy......apearently she thought I looked like a hippy with my hair, sunglasses and utter disregard for shoes......she's a senior in highschool and she obviously had never stayed in asheville for a very long time nor met my calc teacher for that matter...so until I live in a log cabin on a 10 acre plot have long hair, with the beginings of a bald spot, eat vegitarian pizza, and have a dog named sunshine...I'm not a hippy...but I guess I can kinda see what she was thinking...I actually wasn't wearing any shoes on the bus trip...both my sandals and my tenisshoes were up on the busracks for the entire trip...a lot of people fell asleep on the ride (BIG MISTAKE) and so we entertained ourselves by taking pictures of them asleep and giving them wet willies......generally had a really good time...after about two hours we got there...and we were given a quick class and given paperwork and stuff that took me forever to fill out as I couldn't remember my address......luckily I had my permit on me...and that has all that info on it...then we were paired with our tandem jumpers...so we get suited up...I thought the suits were really comfortable and fun to walk around it...so then after going over the ruitine we got in the plane...as it ended up...I WAS THE FIRST ONE IN THE FIRST GROUP TO JUMP...WEEEE!!!! so anywho...we got up there...some of the guys were getting video and so one of the videographers had the door open on the take off...so once we got up to prolly about 3000 ft it started to get a weee bit chilly with the wind and all...but I loved it...it felt good...and I was suprisingly not really as nervous as one might expect for the entire trip...anywho...we got connected(which involved us sitting on our partner's laps...the instructor on the ground was a bit of a joker so he said "guys, I'm sure your partners would apriciate it if you didn't wiggle around on their laps...now girls...you're a different story...I don't think they'll mind you wiggling"...) so anywho...we were strapped tight to our partners and I put on my helmet (which was made out of leather and had a pair of goggles strapped to it) and we breifly went over the jump one last time...then it was time to jump...so they opened the door, and we 'penguin waddled' (as the instructor called it) to the door as we were tightly strapped at the sholders and waist...we got up to the edge of the plain and my partner told me to put my right foot on the edge...so I did so...then we were supposed to go 1,2,3, then jump or something of the like...so he goes "one" and I stick my head out of the plane in an atempt to jump out...then I remember that it was supposed to be on(or mayhap after...can't remember) three...so he says two and then we jump...I actually don't remember how I jumped out...I think I just kinda fell out sorta thing when he put pressure on my back whith his knee...so now...there was a Me several miles up in the air...a very unusual place for a Me to be...(reminescent of the whale...lol...) so anywho...I get out of the plane and the first thing I think is..."WHAT THE HELL DID I JUST DO!!!...MAN...THAT WAS THE STUPIDEST THING I HAVE EVER DONE...NOW WHA-...oh...yea...I'm skydiving...I'm supposed to jump out of the plane...and I have a parachute and a guy who knows how to use it strapped to my back...WEEEEEE!!!!...oh...yea...banana banana banana banana(we were told to think bannana to remind ourselves to make our bodies curved back like a bannana so that we could stabalize and then deploy a tiny parachute to help keep us slow enough to prevent excessive wear on the parachutes and loonies under them)...*tap on arm*...wha...oh...*I stick my arms into a big dubbya...a great big dubya* WEEEEEE!!!...this is cool...I can feel the wind on my feet through my shoes...although being suade that really isn't a new experiance...*parachute starts to deploy*...okay...why did it just feel like we're speeding up...*parachute fully opens*...uufff...*silence*...wow...it's really quiet...*partner asks if I though that was cool*...well thass a stupid question...*I tell him that it was awesome and then tell him that that is something I could get used to...but neglect the part where it would take a VERY VERY LONG TIME!!!*...*he tells me to stand up*...whaddya mean stand up...I'm 5000 feet up in the air...oh...yea...*he tells me to grab ahold of the harness so that I can lift myself so that our harnesses are level and he can unhook the bottom to attatchments (each of the total four are strong enough to hold far more than my weight) so we can land properly*...*I put my feet up on his and pull up with my arms and he undoes the waist connections*...*he tells me to put my hands through the toggles (the things that you use to steer the parachute <these are the modern wing shaped ones like you use for parasailing&gt and so I do...then he puts his hands through his* okay...now what...*he quickly reminds/instructs me on how to control the parachute*...why wasn't this gone over while we were on the ground...oh yea...it was... *we make a slight left turn* this is kinda fun *we make a sharp left turn* WEEEEEE!...*we make a sharp right turn*...mayhap I shouldn't have eaten that Sausage, Egg, and Biscuit at Hardy's...*we make a sharp left turn*...please let us make more lefts than rights...they're easier on my stomach...*we make a couple of sharp right turns*...I wonder if I can vomit on the other guys(the six guys still on the ground as only half the group went up in the first batch)...hey...it just got noticably warmer...that must be the barrier where the effects of heat transfer caused by contact with the ground begin to make a significant difference...hey...there's the windsock...*make a couple of slight turns to try and land in the landing sand pit*...*my partner tells me to flair the parachute(which is where we pull the toggles all the way down to bring the back end down to land like an airplane does with its wingflaps)*...finally there's the ground...I didn't get sick...weeee!...I wish there wasn't any wind so we would have to slide on our rears...that sounded like fun...*land standing up*...*wind tries to pull us backwards*...*he releses my shoulder straps and I help him bring the parachute back to the building*...
...but yea...it was pretty fun...I then went looking for Bob so I could try and scare him about the airplane ride as he hadn't ever flown before and was about to jump out of an airplane(he was actually the one who did most of the organizing for the trip...)...it didn't really work all that well......yea...it was pretty fun...and looking back at it...it was insanely funny what I thought when I first got out of the plane...so anywho...we got back on the bus and waited for the guys who got their's filmed to get on...and when they we just about to get on we pulled away and made them run after us for a few feet......on the ride back to Shakaka's house we all slept some...or at least tried...when we got back to Shakaka's house we all said goodbye(...of course Sally Forth said "bye hippy boy" and so I said "bye non-hippy girl"...lol...) on the trip back every so often Bob would say..."we just jumped out of a fricken airplane"...and then Bill dropped us off on the top of the parking deck outside Southride( as he made a wrong turn as he was planning on going outside Mills since Bob and Jimmy Buffet live there...) and we had a conversation with some people on the balcony of West Ridge by yelling as loud as we could...so anywho...thass what happened...it was a pretty cool experience...the road trip was really really fun...especially the ride in the truck...

That was the biggest post I've ever seen. Even counting your weird physics posts...

whee, hippie boy!

Yay!

ooooohhhh...sounds wonderful! *daydreams of skydiving*

*dreams of skydiving and crashing face first into the ground leaving a hole the shape of my body *

Must think positive!