h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am trying to work out...

... whether the people I can hear having sex are doing it in the alley, which seems rather cold and damp.

Did someone yell out on the approach to the crescendo

"Oh my trembling knees ..."?

I'd say that cold and damp really doesn't do it for me. Personal tastes are different, I know...

Sex? What's that?

Well the one and only time I contemplated a knee trembler I realised that there is now almost no part of London which isn't being filmed. As Banksy put it: One Nation Under CCTV.

I suspect it was in one of the neighbouring houses - having sex outside last night would have just been a bit *too* life-affirming.

B

http://i.imgur.com/2ubW.jpg

Wonderful, CZ. I'm still chortling....

If they get too loud, you can always...er...slep 'em with an asbo.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/wear/8352729.stm

47 dB is hardly too loud, that ranks between a whisper quiet library and normal conversation.

http://www.gcaudio.com/resources/howtos/loudness.html

That would still be decidedly audible if that was the volume next door.

When they put "The court heard Sunderland City Council recorded levels of up 47 decibels." in the article that makes most folks unfamiliar with effective dB levels assume that's a "loud" noise when it's absolutely not. I'm not saying that it wouldn't be annoying to hear your neighbors in coitus audibilus* but by definition it's not loud at 47 dB.

By the way, I had a similar problem when I lived at this horrible little apartment in Houston. The neighbor was away for a week and her college age daughter was watching the place while she was away. One Wednesday night she and her boyfriend were "at it" until around 3 AM. I had to work in the morning but I'm not going to be "that" neighbor, banging on the walls because a young couple are being a bit noisy... Until about thirty minutes after they were done and the boyfriend broke out his acoustic guitar. Then I did bang on the wall and yelled, "She already ed you, you don't have to serenade her NOW!" I heard them both giggle and enjoyed a quiet night after that.


*not actual Latin

How lovely they giggled.

It is disconcerting to already know what someone sounds like having sex when you meet them for the first time.

disgusting.... the only thing I ever hear of our neighbours is the random night time use of a electric drill, and ocasinoal screaming contents with door slammings and running up and down the stairs, and then to ensure everyone knows they're not* happily married they run into the street so they can shout at each other in full view... nice... such social graces in my neighbours Mind, the near constant car alarms and fire engines and police and ambelences up and down the road probably work quite well as a baffle against the noise of coitus travelling too far and annoying any of the neighbours .. do people really make that* much noise during sex? I mean, it must be tricky with the gag in...

You can hear them if they're in a car, Ben. Perhaps they wind the windows down a bit so they don't steam up and start his wife wondering?

I used to live in a cul-de-sac where for a few weeks there were antics every night - or rather early morning. Sometimes it was already light. I noticed that, almost immediately afterwards, a car drove off, so I assumed "he" was bringing "her" home, having a quickie in the car outside and then driving off. It always woke me up because I had two tiny children at the time and the noise was similar to a baby crying.

Are you sure it wasn't foxes?

Steamy windows - zero visibility
Steamy windows - coming from the body heat

You can wine and dine a woman all night
with good intentions
But there's something about competition on a back road
breaks down the defences

Steamy windows - ain't nobody can see
Steamy windows - coming from the body heat

Too lazy to type that one out, so I copied it off some lyrics site. Rather sure I usually hear "competition on a back road" as "confrontation in the back seat" ??

Must find it on the iPod and have a listen...

I don't know. Do foxes usually drive green Mercedes?

Why, yes, we frequently get a bit louder than we should. Don't ask our kids or the neighbors. They ~lie~ about the dialect and inflection my wife uses during those times.

B4itrulyincriminatebothofus

Not foxes, Edward. Urban foxes prefer leafier areas.