h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

14.21 I’ve finished, the dog’s (GOD BLESS’UM) Have been watered and fed, the logs are ready by the fire, the guests have arrived for the Yule tide, the best booze has been hidden from them and I’m getting quietly drunk all by myself in my room writing this! What is it about family? That drives you to seclusion?! As a man you feel the need to be away from the in-laws as soon as they turn up on your door step at the festive time, something primeval stirs deep inside at the sight of the mother-in-law (far to much the worst for drink) sleeping under the Christmas tree, although the first time I saw it I sniggered, but after the umpteenth time, its lost most of the comic humour, but it does allow for some fun with a can of silly string.
14.37 I’m on my second bottle of beer, the dog’s (GOD BLESS’UM) have joined me in my room in front of the fire in here, the noise in the house is rising and the smell of cooking is starting to drift around the house, smells nice, Lamb I think, I can smell the Rosemary stuffing. The next person to join me is my missus dad, we both smile and nod as only men can, I break open the good bottle of single malt, and the very one I have been keeping for this very occasion, pouring the precious light amber liquid into the tumblers, we break into a conversation, which was started about 11-12 years ago and gets continued every Christmas since, its about how he fancies a whippet but is not allowed to have one as it “would mess up the house” and I always say “just get it, all it would be is one big argument and then you’ll have peace and quiet as the old trout would leave” we both laugh out at this and then he stairs deep into the fire place!
15.01 The knock at the front door is expected and I’m called out of my room, before I leave I fill our glasses and then return the bottle to its hiding place, as this booze is for only me and Jon! As I walk through the kitchen the cooking is in full flight the smell is incredible, the mood which I’m about to break into a thousand pieces, ruin, is worth it for Jon as he needs some affection, arrive at the front door and Stood in it is Dave and Two Watches, “I’ve got “ said Dave “well-done mate” I reply “A little Bitch as par requested, she’s about six weeks and she’s a look’er too” Said Dave and then “I’ve got her here, and I ain’t coming in, its too dangerous”, “chicken” I said and smiled.
15.12 All I have to do now is smuggle the pup passed the wimm’in in the kitchen, not easy at all but it’s something that has to be done! A quick look under the stairs, tell’s me there ain’t nothing to hide her inside, no sack, no box big enough; ah ha I’ll use my coat! So the pup is bundled into my wax coat and with her still jiggling I carry her back through the kitchen, “what have you got there” says my missus and everyone looks around at me, thinking at lighting speed I say “a coat” and dash off into my room, knowing that the wimm’in aren’t going to take that at face value, it’s something they don’t know about and a could be a threat or a pressy for them that they don’t know about so as I shut the door to my room its opened again
15.14 “Just what have you got in that coat” she said
“Nothing” I said
“So you think I’m thick and blind, do you?” she said
“Nope” I said
“So what is it” she said
“A pressy for someone” I said
“WHO?” she said
“Your dad” I said as a little head popped out and sneezed
15.15 Hey Jon what are you going to call her………………………………



The row is still rumbling on…………… but the new little Jack Russell pup is called Will’s

RJR

It is currently 18:00 in my nweck of the woods, so it must be Christmas in yours.

Have a wonderful holiday.

Hyp

you to tinker, have a nice one and don't forget to have a few beers to!

Just to report that the pup Will's is doing well and has left no messages on the carpet yet..... and shes found a new toy my wellies, the left wellie has no toe now, just a hole were my toes poke through!

The pup is ok, but how about you? Any black eyes from the mum-in-law?

How cold anyone not love a puppy?