h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This is just one kind of punishment. Further up the scale, there is food, (while seen as pleasurable, orften painful, as in Jamican Bell Peppers - possibly an act of metaphorical flagellation left over from the dark ages).

Then, the opposite of fitness - using the Internet. A very subtle form of agony wherin nothing can befound easily, stress levels are increased over a longer peiod of time when screens don't update/URL's cannot be retrieved due to irritatingly undermanned servers...society is all about more exquisite forms of self torture. Excersise is just the obvious one.

WHat about listening to the radio whilst having a light snack whilst browsing? I've recently started listening to the radio again and find it very irritating, especially now as the summer Balearic season begins.
Surely the most obvious form of human self-torture is the idea of going to work? Why has society created the idea of having to do something you don't want to all day just in order to eat and sleep indoors?

And what about this 'owning stuff' nonsense? Can you think of anything more stressful and encumbering than posessions? Save up for it, worry which model to buy, spend all your money on it, insure it, worry about theft and damage, be generally unsatisfied with it after a few weeks...

Myself, I'm off to restructure my genes and enrol at dolphin school.

And spelling! Can you imagine a more uncool rule trip?

I don't know about spelling. Scrabble™ is the best board game in the world, in which you can learn new words and have your spelling corrected (if it needs it) in the disguise of entertainment. I find it quite fun when typing to play beat-the-spell-and-grammar-checker in Word, especially when it doesn't know a word or fails to recognise good grammar. [Long sentence (no suggestions)] is my favourite.

I am superhumanly fit and find the worst form of human toture to be sitting on my pert arse trying to instill some sense into dull, lazy, good for nothing scroungers on the internet who can't be arsed to work and pay their phone bills with money swindled from the government. I have a fifty hour a week job AND attend night school, in between seven rugby matches a week. Not bad for a seven year old, eh?

Try typing in "I hate Bill Gates", and getting Word to look for alternatives in the American Thesaurus...

OOH what a hard man you are.

I used to be very physically active, now not so much.. perhaps age, or the fact that ice cubes kept falling out of my high-ball glass everytime I tried to use a piece of exercise equipment. Not to mention triing to keep a pack of cigarettes in my shirt pocket while running up and down the pitch.

Yeah, there was that thing recently where people with English (US) as the language found that thesauring "I'd like to see Bill Gates dead" got back "I'll drink to that". My girlfriend found today that when closing Word after creating a file that she didn't want to save that instead of the "Would you like to save the changes to new-1.doc?" she got a little box saying "I think [preregistered user] is a great big jerk". Anyone know of any viruses going around at the moment that do this sort of thing?

Stop playing rugby. All the pressure on your colon from your teammates must be compressing your brain.

Yeah, You want a go?

No, no you,ve got it all wrong!

I also play Rugby leauge, so there!

Being a dum rugby player, What the flying furk is a colon?