h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

"Reality is for people who cannot handle alcohol."

"I'm not as think as you drunk I am." (actually wearing that as I type, nice fuzzy out of focus letters

Anyone got any others?

Franky says Relax!

My favourite (not sdtrictly beer-related) is:
Shit happens.
Used to be quite common being worn by Japanese tourists

YES I DO HAVE A DRINK PROBLEM - I'VE GOT TWO HANDS BUT ONLY ONE MOUTH.

IF YOU THINK THE BOTTOMS DROPPING OUT OF YOUR WORLD.. DRINK GUINNESS AND WATCH THE WORLD DROP OUT OF YOUR BOTTOM.

"My Drinking Team has a Rugby Problem!"

life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life.......so lets get wasted and have the time of our lives

take me drunk I'm home

It"s just a fat shirt

667 - neighbour of the beast

Here's one I saw carved into a wall at Hershey Park in PA, but would be just fine on a T-shirt too:

"If you're not wasted, the day is."

Other offerings:-
"I'm not as think as drunkle peep I am "
"I have too much blood in my alchohol stream"
"I am what I am, and that's all I am, I'm ... beer !!!"
Are these O.K.? Answers on the back of a 4pack.

"My other T-shirt's a Porsche"
"If you can read this you're too close"
"If you can read this come home with me"
"If you can read this you're smarter than the average bear"
"I went to Hawaii and all I got was this lousy T-shirt"
"What did you think it was going to say?"
"Honk if you think I'm ... a goose"
"Does this make my bum look fat?"
"I came. I saw. I came."
[There's a bit more to that one, but I'm on thin ice already so I'll stop].

"There's blood in my alcohol stream!"

"Two million Germans can't be wrong"

"I've fallen and I can't reach my beer!"

OK here's a couple that I can remember...

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

If you can read this shirt...you need another drink

I myself have friends who were not there at the meeting when they asked us all not to wear T-shirts with slogans on anymore. However, the only one that has tickled me since my teens said "My other T-shirt is funny".

Scene: A man in bed with the door slightly open. In the foreground is a dog of the 4 legged variety cooking the breakfast.
Punchline: I was so pissed last night I don't even remember your name!

trust me it looks better than it reads.

I've had my toes amputated so I can get nearer the bar!

A t-shirt slogan relating to beer are:
Beer built this beautiful body!
Often worn by fat old guys.

A fave of mine is "Are You Looking At My Tits?" printed across the chest in tiny letters so people have to really stare to read it!
In the Uk we are seeing the return of "I'm With Stupid/Gorgeous" (pointed finger) as part of the 70's revival. God help us!
Other good ones are The Comparitive Religions T-Shirt, seen at all good markets and tourist traps. I'm not going to explain it all but its based on the premise "shit happens"
Also "Johnsons Babe Power" (in the logo of - yes...think about it) and "beeR ok" (anagram of Reebok) are great ones, last seen in Camden Town on a dodgy t-shirt stall. All ones based on logos are great, come to think of it!