h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How could any entry on the Great British Breakfast be complete without mentioning crumpets?

Because crumpets are served with tea at 4.30pm. At least they are in my house.

That's not an invitation for any crumpets in the area to pop over for a cuppa, by the way.

Crumpets, Pikelets, Scottish Pancakes - if it's round and has butter dripping off it, I'm in heaven. In fact I'm pretty happy if it's just round.

I'm not a clock-watcher when it comes to crumpets. I'll have 'em any time of day. Please tell me what a Scottish pancake is, beeline - I'm curious.

The worst scrambled eggs i have ever seen (I would say tasted but the fact
is the as soon as i saw them I quickly called in NASA sayin i have found
a new life form)

It was at a play in England called Portland Bill near Wyemouth

It was a place called the Bunker a Diving hostle.

I tried to put my fort into it but it fired my fork out my hand with such force
that it cracked a glass jug next to me

well all the conversation on Crumpets, not one person has mentioned the be all and end all of crumpets... They should be FIRM not soggy. The art of the Crumpet maker is to pull it out of the grill/toaster/flames JUST before it burns, a nice golden brown (on both sides) and not an albino lump of doughy stuff that is hot.

Annoying, isn't it? Just when you think you've got the Scotch/Scottish thing wrapped up, some pedantic twit comes along and corrects you. Anyway, Scotch pancakes are much smaller than the other kind, fluffier and sweeter. But just what the correct name for non-Scotch pancakes is, I don't know. Any suggestions?

How to make quick scrambled eggs.

You will need....

A microwave
A microwavable bowl
3 eggs each
knob of butter
lots of salt and pepper
splash of milk

1. Mix all ingredients together in bowl (I belive this is called 'scrambling')
2. Put into microwave
3. cook for 30 seconds. stir.
4. repeat step 3 till eggs are at your required consistency - about 4/5 mins for dry, 2/3 for sloppy and wet
5. serve with toast, ketchup, and a big mug of tea

Sorry, Lou, but I'm not a microwave fan. I find they leave the eggs tasteless and of a strange (almost GM) texture. My preference is the old-fashioned way in a pan, continuing to whisk whilst cooking until the perfect texture. Tip - remove the pan from the heat before you'd expect, the eggs will carry on cooking in their own heat. The rest of the stuff about tommy sauce, toast and tea still gets my seal of approval!!!!

Better yet, scrambled eggs on toast, with loads of butter, and little itty bits of crispy bacon...or is this heading towards the great British Breakfast gig. Ketchup is optional. Anyway, that's the way my mum used to make scrambled eggs.

Firm crumpet! Ding dong!!!

I am with you on this one, (traditionally anyhow) crumpets are afternoony. For me I go for a bit of crumpet
(bready type) any time, but not for breakfast. My personal thing is almost over cooked , definately over buttered and
a spot of jam, strawberry if you have any, tar!