h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Inbetween chores, I'll spend an hour today on the Listener Crossword. (see A87842424 for more information)

This week's is one of those puzzles that makes little sense on first reading. In truth, they're all like that. This time, the setter has left the following instructions:

"In 12 clues the wordplay leads to the answer with a single letter removed. In row order these words spell out an appropriate word, which can also be read as an instruction that solvers must follow by changing two letters in the grid. This will reveal a definition of the five answers whose clues consist of wordplay only (including one of the above 12) and a word that has a definition confirming the way in which across answers are entered. This definition must be written beneath the grid."

Help!

Well, I read that yesterday, and this will be my strategy:

Across answers clearly need to be entered into the grid in a special way, so I can't enter them yet.

Down answers appear to be normal, except that I'm going to have to change two letters in the grid at some point. Maybe I'll enter the down answers into the grid in pencil.

Five clues have no definitions, so I'll make a list of these answers as I find them, and see what the link is between them.

12 clues are normally defined, but the cryptic definition (the wordplay) is missing a letter. I'll make a note of these answers, too. These will be the hardest clues to solve, but I don't know which ones they are.

When I understand the theme behind this puzzle, it should become a bit easier. At this stage I don't know whether I'll spot it by solving down clues, or by finding missing letters or missing definitions. Maybe after an hour it will begin to become clear.

* * *

Finally, the puzzles are notorious for using obscure Scottish words. Here are the ones I learned by completing last week's puzzle:

awmous: Alms
end: Cottage room
oo: Grandchild
oo: We
oose: Dust, fluff
scrog: Crab apple
streek: To lay out a dead body for burial
thrae: From

Good luck! I'm sure you'll enjoy this. I used to struggle with Auraucaria's puzzles in the Guardian, and once I'd twigged the theme I felt a shot of exhilaration.

I think I resorted to photocopying the blank grids for the trial answers.

Ooo - a lot of oos in Scottish words, I see

Good luck with all that No wonder I've never even managed to solve one clue in a Listener Crossword... I'm tempted to have another go, though, now I know more about how the layers of the puzzle work...

I'm proud to recognise that Araucaria is Monkey Puzzle - a good name for a puzzle setter.

Araucaria died last year - I wrote a journal about it - his last puzzle was poignant:

F131941?thread=8299500

Reading those instructions I wouldn't have a clue where to even start.

[Amy P]

I simply don't get cryptic crosswords. A housemate of mine used to love them so I had a good look at them, but no. Don'y have that kind of brain. The mere thought of this makes me feel quite faint. I am in awe.

I think my brain has shed a few too many cells to even decrypt the instructions, Icy. You eclipse me with your ability to parse them.

British crosswords! My in-laws would sit down with the Observer crossword every Sunday afternoon and solve it as a team effort. I was appalled by my inability to understand the clues, and blame the fact that you had to be born and raised British to get them.

Not just British! There's an Irish cryptic crossword that has been running since the forties in the Irish Times newspaper. It is very popular.

I thought the Americans invented them.

Not sure about cryptic ones, though. The Listener was certainly an early one.

I used to enjoy the one in the Oxford Times. I could imagine all the college dons tacking it at the same time.

I never saw a cryptic crossword till I came ashore at Prestwick. The Americans invented straightforward crosswords; the United Kingdomites took the concept and twisted it.

The Irish Times crossword was set for 68 years by 'Crosaire' (he named himself after the sign for a level crossing in Irish -- Cros Aire, literally 'crossing, take care').

Unfortunately it was not terrific. I used to think it was impossible until I found my aunt was completing it every day; with a little application I was eventually doing it in 20 minutes every day.He became very predictable.

When he died, he was replaced by an excellent setter who unfortunately didn't remain long. It is now lamentably awful.

Well now I've learned something. I thought "Crosaire" was the Irish for crossroads, as well as being a pun on the setter's real name, Crozier. I didn't know it meant "Cross, beware".

Every morning I do the crossword puzzle in my daily newspaper. It's not particularly cryptic. I'm fine with that, as it's not supposed to take me the whole day to solve it.

Crosaire does also mean crossroads. But I remember the old sign for a railway level crossing that said 'cros' on one side and 'aire' on the other, with a stylised railway track logo in the middle. I may have been overtranslating it to divide it into two words, but cros by itself also means a crossroads--in addition to cross, marketplace, reel (the dance), mischief, and prohibition.

Aire (pronounced 'arrah') means 'care' and is also the Irish word for a government minister.

Thought you would like to know.