h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Bogborough District Council announced today that they had taken delivery of the first of a new batch of money-saving litter bins that automatically tweet when they need to be emptied. Councillor Len Cheesehorn, chairperson of the Parks and Amenities Committee told the Evening Herald, "We are proud to be the pioneers of this new technology. No longer will we have the spectacle of untidy rubbish piled around the full bins for days on end, with its associated vermin issues. Local ratepayers will likewise appreciate the cost savings we can make in only emptying those bins that are full…"

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Bin @bench

Hi i'm new. What am I? #confused


Bin @tree

Hi, you're very big #friend


Bin @tramp

Hi, you smell funny #curious


Bin @council

Hi. When will that nice man visit me? #lonely


Council @bin

Please don't tweet us until you're full. If you're bored, read the newspapers or something.


Bin @tree

Nice story here - did you know the Pope has a Twitter account? The Prime Minister too! #idea


Bin @Number10gov

Hi Dave, Will you be my friend? #lonely


Number10gov @bin

Gosh, thx 4 yr msg. Happy 4 all support we can get. ps, Your surname's not Laden, is it? lol


Bin @PopeBenedictXIV

Hi Holy Father, will you be my friend? #hope


PopeBenedictXIV @bin

Rejoice in the friendship that is the Lord's gift of spriritual trust #givegenerously


Bin @tree

This is fun. Oh, there's a story here about trees too. You're not an Ash, are you? #concern


Bin @tree

What's that loud creaking noi

Icy. Good one.

Quite magical Icy - well up to your usual standard.

Oh, the possibilities......I love it...

Could we get them all to follow our favourite politicians and celebrities?

thanks Icy

Brilliant. Only sorry it wasn't longer. Have you set up an account for your bin yet?

We've just had our sixth bin stolen since June - it'd be really helpful if they could tweet "Help! Stranger danger!".

Thanks all

I think there could be some mileage in this one.

Children's book, maybe? I'd need a good illustrator. Any offers?

No-one's yet contacted me to buy the movie rights, either. Oh well, they know where I am...

You've anticipated a later episode. The Apple iBin comes preloaded with security tracking technology. When anyone attempts to use the bin having stolen it, it takes a photo of them via the integral webcam and mails it to the council. They file it somewhere.

Probably in an unlit basement. With no stairs. In a locked filing cabinet in a cubicle with a sign on the door saying "Beware of the tiger".*

Deb

* quoting from memory, don't all shout at once if I got it wrong

Leopard.*

*Quoting from very anal memory.

Lavatory*.

*Also occasional anal. (what a poor pun...)

Well if we're going to go down that route then the lights we out as well.

I don't know whether listening to y'all in the dark is an improvement or not...

besides, I'm worried about that leopard...

Peanut@bin,nudge is that you,seem to be stuck in lav with leopard virgintweethere#

not sure if I have done that right *mashes keys*

really haven't done that before, have I got my # in teh right place