h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Perhaps the state should issue 'Tuna Cards'. Or put warning labels on the fish. Hmm, beat about the head and shoulders with a fish used to be great comedy material.

Quoth the raven, Never more!

Yah, now it's the cause of arrest. heh heh...

I almost forgot I wrote this, I went back to your "ouch" article because it was so amusing, and ALAS!

It is all part of the fundamental interconnectedness of all things. (Dirk said that) http://www.h2g2.com/U25578

I asked him if he would be so kind as to help me with the Tuna Floggings cases.

What happened to the days when people would beat each other senseless with sacks full of doorknobs instead of fish? Or beanbags? Or sock puppets? Beatings aside, there is no reason to be so cruel to a fish. Assuming the person you are beating is worthy of the beating, why subject the fish to touching that person?

I really have nothing to say, but I'm saying it anyway.

Hey fishmonger, forgot to mention that I dig all the ants marching.

Well, I often hit my mother with Trebol mints, England #1 strongmint. mmm...delicious, and they don't really hurt. Not like dorrknobs at all, those have a yuky metallic taste to them and they are quite painful.

And thanks, I just stick happy music in various places on a whim. It's fun. And it's better than actual streaming audio, it's more of a karaoke thing.

I really am trying to resist the puns about Cod-olences, or Con-Sole-ences, or if only he'd been in another Plaice. Blimey, that fish must have Smelt by the time they got it up for evidence. Blimey, that must have been a big fishy court. (fish he caught... oh, never mind)

Methods of procreation, right, dogs, we've got you down for doggy fashion, there we go. Cats, we've got you down for doggy fasion, too, i'm afraid. Surely, catty fashion, surely. Sorry, guys, we were running out. Giraffes, well, frankly, whatever the hell you can work out. Upside down, in a tree, whatever. Oh, cheers, god, nice one.
Right, now, salmon. Yes, got a bit of a surprise for you...

Why tuna? Why the hell tuna? What have we ever done to have our dead thrown about in such hapless agresion?
Even so, that's gotta hurt.

tuna

See Fen, your forums are just as long-lived!

Technically, RSBohn started this one, but it's still nice to know .

tunaStixz, I don't quite know what to say. It's worse than New York over here. hehe

Give me the name of the rufians envolved and I'll set my lawyer, the infamouse R.I.Prenston, on 'em .

What a shocking story. All that and the recent mass kidnapping of fish from this site by the evil Geocities mob. Is there nowhere in this galaxy where may safely swim?

there is a small beach just off the coast of Yorkshire that i have always considered secure and free of fish abusers.

In Yorkshire? Really? Hey, that's where I come from! Tell me more!

But... but... what if... mabye my fish ran away to be in Yorkshire with Ormondroyd? Maybe... they... they don't LOVE me anymore!

Would that that were the case, Fenny. Want to see something truly tragic? Then go to http://www.h2g2.com/A231841 - and weep.

tragic is an understatement, why is it fish seem to bear the brunt of so much misfortune nowerdays.
i remember when fish owned the world, and then the Stangmar revolutionaries arived and insisted that legs were the way of the future. after that even the salamanders had legs.
now we end up represented by a bunch of rectangles- tragic indeed

Legs, Pah! Who needs 'em? (See my Jan 15 journal entry -- nearly lost the use of my own pair)

RSBohn/U37566 Be kind to fish!