h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It was late, there was a slight chill in the air and the moon was bright and full in the darkness of the sky. The campus of UC Sunnydale was crowded with students moving from one building to another and the air was filled with the sounds of laughter and words.
But one girl seemed to move with such ease through the mass of students, as well as the creature advancing on her. Finally being free of the crowds, the girl stopped to face her pursuer.
“Slayer” he growled.
“Vampire” she replied.
He felt his fangs elongate and ridges form on his forehead and around his eyes. He licked his cruel lips at the thought of the slayers blood trickling down his throat, he shuddered with pleasure. He advanced towards her, slowly, but ready for the kill. Buffy started to retreat, reaching into her pocket as she did so. I love this part, ooh I’m so helpless. Come on, keep coming.
She stopped, her back lay against an enormous oak tree, and she could no longer retreat. Come on stake where are you? Damn you new leather coat with your shiny, attractive blackness and your deep bottomless pockets.
The vampire scowled and swung his fist, aiming for Buffys face, she ducked, causing him to hit the tree behind her. Grabbing his free arm she twisted it up and behind his back. He yelped in pain as his face was pushed into the tree bark.
“What is with you vampires and leather?” Buffy asked not really expecting an answer.
A figure appeared beside Buffy, its face almost skeletal in the moonlight and clinched between its evil lips was a cigarette, the ember at its tip glowing in the dark.
“What’s this? Out for a little rough and tumble before bedtime? I thought that’s what your boyfriend was for.”
“Not now Spike.”Buffy replied.
She struggled to hold down the vampire as she reached into her pocket, again looking for the stake.
Just as she grabbed hold of it, the vampire through his head back hitting Buffy in the face, she stumbled backwards a little dazed.
“I can’t believe your almost getting killed by one measly vamp. You must be losing your touch slayer.” Spike laughed. He knew he couldn’t hurt her physically, not since a group called the Initiative had put an electronic chip in his skull. If he ever tries to harm any living person, electric pulses will be sent through his brain. Sometimes Spike forgot about the sodden chip and would soon be reminded by a nice painful migraine. But he loved to taunt Buffy, as he knew she would never stake a harmless vampire.
With great speed Buffy plunged the wooden stake into the vampire’s chest, piercing his dead, unbeating heart; he exploded into a cloud of dust and ash.
She looked up to see Spike turning to leave. Walking behind him she kicked him hard in the back, he fell to the ground with a thud.
“Go away Spike” she said passing him, stepping on his hands as she did so. ”Just go away.”
She headed in the direction of her dorm.
Rolling onto his back, he pulled his arms into his chest. Rarely had the slayer slashed out at his comments. She usually didn’t care what Spike had to say. She was definitely on edge these days.
Spike growled to himself as his arrogant features began to change becoming disfigured. A second later he got to his feet and followed in the direction of the slayer.


The Demon screamed in a high pitched tone at the small figure in front of him. His green, spiked face elongated as it exposed rows of sharp, yellow teeth.
With one quick swipe the demon used its sharp talons to tear into the figures flesh. She stumbled but using a large, bladed knife she sliced through the demon’s neck, in one fast motion. His spiked head rolled to the ground and his body followed. Both disappeared and all that was left was a small pool of green blood.
One demon had already managed to flee, with a small, glass bottle gripped tightly in his large green hand, but she was a little glad she had disposed of the second demon.
Panting and tired she gripped the knife tightly and stared at the human body lying dead at her feet. His eyes closed and his shirt bloodied. He was lying face first into the grass and his arms were tucked neatly by his sides. She felt a surge of guilt as she stuck the knife loosely in her belt, pulling her leather jacket over it.
She started to leave, exhausted and tired. Hearing the sound of some bushes rustling, she turned ready to fight. Standing in the shadows she waited, until someone appeared. It was a blonde female and she was shortly joined by a white haired male, his fangs bared and his eyes narrowed to angry slits.
“Come on then” the male vampire said turning to the female exposing his sharp fangs. Vampire.
She seemed to ignore him and carried on staring into the distance.
“There’s something there” the female said.
Now’s the time for me to exit. She turned to run remembering that Eliza had always told her if weapon less and outnumbered running is not a coward’s way out. She would have to deal with them later. The blonde female gave chase as she escaped through some bushes and ran across the campus. She spotted an open window on the side of Fischer Hall and slipped through, she closed it behind her.
Breathing heavily she sat down on a bed at the far side of the room. Her heart was pounding and her throat was burning, but she turned to her sister and said “I fought to more tonight; I think something’s happening”.


Buffy stopped running; she had lost sight of what she had been chasing. She wasn’t even sure what or who it was.
She returned to the dead body lying on the ground, she recognized him as being a student. He was dead but no bite marks were visible.
“What was that all about?” Spike asked, “What the hell was that?”
“I don’t know, but whatever or whoever it was, it killed him.” Buffy said stating the obvious.
“Great detective skills slayer, I could have told you that.” Spike laughed.
Spike began walking away, he was sick of seeing the slayer’s smug face for one day. If it wasn’t for the chip he would have beaten her to a bloody pulp and drank her dry. She was the reason Drusilla had left him all that time ago. His heart was still wounded from thoughts of Dru. She was they only one who’d ever made him hurt like that. All because of you slayer, bloody bint.
Spike spotted something shining in the grass; he picked it up, curious to find out what it was. He could smell the blood on it.
“Not vampire” he called back.
Buffy ignored him; she was checking the body for marks, symbols, anything.
“Hello, anyone there,” spike said waving a hand in front of her face. Hiding the knife behind his back.
“What do you want Spike?” Buffy said, realising Spike presence.
“I said, not vampire”
“And what makes you think that?” Buffy said actually listening.
“Information costs slayer.” Spike said smugly.
“This better be something good, Spike. Because if its not, I will personally beat the crap out of you.” Buffy said reaching into her pocket and pulling out a twenty dollar note.
“After 3,” Spike said moving his hand with the knife in, into view. “One, two….three”
In one quick movement Buffy grabbed the knife from Spike’s hand and Spike grabbed the money from Buffy’s hand. Buffy looked at the knife in her hand and then looked at the body. He didn’t look as if he’d been stabbed. She rolled him over and in the middle of his chest was a great big hole.
“Well Id say good luck slayer, but we both know I don’t mean it” Spike said turning to leave. He was off to spend his well earned money on alcohol and cigarettes.

Willow stared at the group of girls around her, they called themselves wiccans yet they were more interested in bake sales and empowering lemon buns than incantations and actual spells.
There were seven other girls sitting around in a circle other than Tara and herself. There was the leader Nicole, she was slim and pretty in a weird sort of way. Willow didn’t like her; whenever she spoke to someone it always seemed she was being sarcastic. Five of the girls seem to be Nicole’s closest friends, but there was another girl sitting with her head down, she seemed rather shy. She was slim with brown hair tied in plaits.
Willow turned and smiled at Tara sitting beside her and Tara smiled back, and even though Tara said nothing, Willow knew she was thinking the same thing. This isn’t what I expected it to be, maybe we should leave. Tara nodded and smiled back, she had heard Willows voice inside her head. That was the good thing about being a witch they didn’t need to actually talk to be able to communicate.
They were about to make rapid exits when the shy girl began to speak.
“Maybe we could erm,”
“Yes Tabby,” Nicole said as the rest of the group became quiet.
“I was just thinking if its erm, okay with the rest of the group we could”
“Spit it out Tabby” Nicole snapped.
“We could do some incantations, conjuring, you know spells” she said hoping someone would agree.
Willow smiled at her as the rest of the group just stared.
“Being a true Wiccan isn’t about spells and incantations, it’s about being true to the goddess” Nicole snapped as the rest of the group except Willow and Tara agreed in unison.
Willow stood up, “Being a true Wiccan doesn’t mean baking cakes and making cookies either. You don’t know the meaning of the word Wicca. You’re all a bunch of wanna blessed be’s.” Willow snapped before storming away.
Oh, we did a healing spell on Chloe’s ankle and she said the swelling has gone right down. Big deal, healing spells, ooh scary.
Willow stopped and waited for Tara to catch up. When Tara caught up to Willow she grabbed Willows hand.
“It’s okay.”
“No its not, she can’t speak to people like that. She just gets me so…..” Willow stopped and smiled at Tara who had begun stroking her cheek.

Very good story! So, early season 4 is it
I like it a lot, the characters are the same as on tv, so that's really cool Keep up the good work!

thanx will!

Great story - nice start. Like the way that you've introduced a new character - very mysterious and I think that you did that well. The only thing I'd suggest is that you give us some kind of description of her, even if it's just along the lines of "dark hair" - just that I had to read that bit twice to work out it wasn't Buffy!!! That might be the point, but it comes across as a little confusing.

You need to watch your grammar - there's a few (but not many) spelling and grammar mistakes in there that make it harder to read. The other thing you might want to consider to make it slightly easier on the eyes would be to put * marks round people's thoughts - ie *Come on stake where are you? Damn you new leather coat with your shiny, attractive blackness and your deep bottomless pockets.* just to separate them from the rest of the text and make it obvious that the character is thinking something to themselves.

Also, you need to put proper spacing between your paragraphs, not just in between where the scenes swap, it just makes it easier for the reader to follow what's going on - especially when two or more cahracters are having a conversation, or where your last paragraph finishes at the end of a line!

But your content is great and I really love your style. Keep up the good work!

kool story

thanx cordy!

no probs