h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have an insecurity regards my relationship which is that I'm my bf's third serious gf. I know we've been going out for nearly four years but the insecurity of something happening regards his past coming back to haunt us freaks me out. I thought I could put this thought aside but am unsure I can. I feel I'll always be third choice... the left overs. What can I do to put this at rest? Whats more I look a bit like one of his exes! I'm not even sure me putting this insecurity on here will help but i'm not sure what else to do.

Hi, Opti,

What a shame you are feeling like this. Putting aside this feeling are you happy with him, does he appear to be happy wih you?

As you say <> I would emphasize the 'serious' and suggest that he is not one for casual throwaway relationships, but just hadn't found the right person.

Perhaps YOU are the right one, but your insecurity could wreck it so easily. Does he show signs of discontent or straying? If not I would try and put such thoughts away.

I said to a friend yesterday that my son has 'tried on several pairs of shoes' but still hasn't found the right ones, as in girlfriends, and he isn't in to casual relationships either.

I think it is difficult for people to build good relationships today, so if this is a good one, try not to let your feelings get the upper hand and spoil it.

Only you can know whether you have any genuine reasons for the feeling, or whether it is just insecurity.

Take care and

Websailor

I made a slight error earlier. His first relationship was a casual throwaway so I guess he's only had two serious rels. He makes me happy and I make him so happy that I don't believe he would stray and I wouldn't be silly to stray either. I don't feel that any guy matches up to him. Still I have this niggling thought that is difficult to cork up in a bottle and throw it out to sea.

I am glad about that Opti, as it means it is yourself you have to sort out, which I know is always difficult. It is easy to see, and solve other people's problems, but not so easy when it is yourself.

Good Luck,

Websailor

I know that feeling.

Been talking to the bf and he's put me at rest and made me laugh at myself.

I am so pleased

Take care, and enjoy whatever is on offer, for as long as it lasts - you might be surprised.

Websailor

Besides - there's a reason he's with you and not the others.

That optical boyfriend of yours is a wonderful man and completely devoted to you and your happiness, you don't have anything to worry about.

Go for it Opti and be happy