h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

At about noon today, the husband called, telling me my brother had just called him that he and his partner will come here this evening on their way back from Heidelberg. It means, they'll be staying for the night as they live at the other end of Germany.

It meant that I spent the afternoon trying to find a place for all the books and papers that decorated the living room (a colleague had recently given me a huge bag of books which I had just put on the table and the floor, meaning to find a space for them at some point).

It made me wonder: am I just getting old, or is it inconsiderate to give such short notice? I did not rush to the shops to buy something for dinner, or for breakfast tomorrow.
After all, my brother didn't know only since today that he'll be in Heidelberg and go back this evening.

I think they'll have to make do with what's in the home, or the husband can go and do some shopping. And cooking. The latter of which he won't do.
However, there is the possibility that he told the husband a week ago, but the husband only remembered to tell me today.

Whichever way, I'm not well pleased. Instead of spending my day doing things I wanted to do, I wasted it doing things I hate to do.

Even my son said it was inconsiderate.

Now I'll have to pull myself together and be nice and smile, although I don't even know where I'll sleep tonight, cause the guests will sleep in my bed.

Tell them you have a burst pipe and the flat is under water and book them into a hotel. At their cost, of course.

But what if they told early enough? That wouldn't be fair then, would it? Plus the husband would be very annoyed.

At the very least, have them take you out to dinner

If your husband forgot to tell you, it's *his* problem how they get fed and where they'll sleep.

Go and tell the husband.

Awkward.

Difficult to comment until you find out whether or not The Husband had advance warning...

Also depends on whether or not your brother knew in advance. If he only just found out, then it is spontaneous... if not, then inconsiderate. In such a case though, I'd just say "Sorry about the mess/lack of food, we weren't expecting anyone at such short notice" - and give them one of your wonderful smiles - leave it to *their* guilt. Suggest they have a take-away!

Hoggy, Heidelberg is not far from here, and I guess my brother has spent the whole weekend there, attending some conference or something. He will have known well in advance, after all, he has a job, his partner has a job, and she has children she had to leave with somebody.

Ahh, that puts a slightly different perspective on it...

Hate to say it, but yes, I would go for the "Inconsiderate" vote...

Hand them a take-away menu when they get in, and possibly the number of a nearby hotel!

Well, it has one advantage: the floor is clear of books and papers now.

`Come back!' the Caterpillar called after her. `I've something important to say!'

This sounded promising, certainly: Alice turned and came back again.

`Keep your temper,' said the Caterpillar.



Jab

Don't worry, Jabs, I'm not going to lose my temper in RL. I'm only ranting here.

Well, the hsband is just in, and he assures me that he was as surprised as I was, and that he didn't know anything in advance. I believe him.

So hand them a spare key and say thanks for watching the kids, we're going out!

(Would be better if you had younger children )

I can't do that. They hosted son #1 for two weeks in January/February this year.

gives Bel a fridgemagnet with "must tell mother the wife that..."
(in German, of course).
give that as subtle hint to hubby.

gives Bel another fridgemagnet with "must tell sister, because her hubby is not a messenger!"
(in German, of course).
give that as subtle hint to brother and wife.

eat out paid by hubby and brother.

So it is your son hosting them now

If they knew before they would want to stay with you, it is inconsiderate. If your husband knew but forgot to tell you - he was inconsiderate.

But even if it is spontanous - and therefore excusable - books on the floor are okay (in my opinion). And where the hell are you going to sleep? If on the sofa or something like that - why not let them have that place, there is no law that you have to give your bed to a guest (especially if it is unexpected).

As for food: why not simply explain: sorry, but I was not expecting you, so we have to order something and someone has to go to buy rolls (or whatever) in the morning, while I make the coffee (so noone will expect you to go out).

Ranting here is perfectly allright Bel, but I have the impression it would be quite could if you did so at home as well (at least every now and then, or how will the others know that they are taking advantage of you?)

It's a normal work day tomorrow, Tina, we'll all be out of the house before 8.00am. Nobody has time to go and buy bread or buns.

Well, your visitors leave that early as well? so there is no problem with breakfast, if they stay longer than your leaving, they'll have to get something on their own (I suppose they are old enough?)

I don't mean to be harsh, and I know it is nice if one can cater guests well and be nice and the lot, but if someone intrudes unexpectatly, he/she/they have to accept, that it's not a hotel they are staying at... - and they should be aware what it means to intrude into family life...

I think there is some bread in the freezer, I can get that out tonight.

You are much too nice

Sometimes I admire you, but then I think, you should be a little more selfish at home, would do you good (and your family as well, even though they won't realise that at first).