h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oh 'eck.

Coward!!

You're just scared of my socks!!

I'd think most of The West is scared of your socks ....



I'm just scared of what you might read.

I'm not left, I'm right.

Too late, Fizzy...

Hello Bel!

It's never too late.

Tell that to a credit card company if you miss a payment!!

Hello Hoggy.

You'll miss two more payments in the time it takes to navigate the tortuous automated telephone system...

You are evil people.

That reminds me of this - Welcome to the Mental Heath Switchboard...

Please choose one of the following options:

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press #1 over and over and over again;

If you have multiple personalities, please press #6, #7, and #8.

If you are co-dependant, please ask someone to press #4 for you.

If you are hysterical, don't touch any buttons whatsoever, something terrible might happen;

If you are bipolar, touch #1, then #9;

If you are dyslexic, please press 9784673916749026046728

If you are schizophrenic, don't touch any buttons, a little voice will tell you what to do;

If you are paranoid, there is no need to touch any buttons. We know who you are, we know
where you live, and we will be coming to get you very soon.

If you are a kleptomaniac, rip the cord out of the wall and run away with the phone;

If you are depressed, do not touch any buttons. It wouldn't do any good anyway.

If you are manic, touch as many buttons as you can as fast as possible;

If you are narcissist, hug yourself.

If you have alzheimers disease, please give your full name, address and bank details to our representative.

If you have short term memory loss, please try again in a few minutes.

If you suffer from low self esteem, please hang up now, as all our representatives are much too busy to speak to you.

If you are delusional, please press #8 to be transferred to the MotherShip.

And don't call Bel evil, Fizzy, that's not nice!

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6 7 8


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s the

Oh, hang on, that was wrong, wasn't it?

If you want to cuddle a , that's your affair...

Meanwhile, I have to return to the lab...

Probably not online tonight, so next time I post I shall be on holiday! Yay!!

See you girls whenever!!

Euwww.

Have a great holiday, bye.

Have the holiday you deserve.......


/ .... you decide.

he forgot the # for SockBusters

In that case you'll have to take care of his socks, pheloxi.

you want give me SockFobie! no thank you!