h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't mind visiting hospitals as long as I'm not the patient or someone I know is a patient. I think it has something to do with going to visit my father in a German hospital every day for about eight months. *shudder*

Germany's health service has an excellent reputation. What's wrong with German hospitals? Or is the German bit irrelevant?

No, it was actually a lucky thing that he was transferred out to a German hospital. American military doctors are usually butchers and were doing more towards killing him than helping him.

This reminds me of the song doctor to my disease from catfish rising

Tip: Hunt down and consume Echinacea capsules...should kill anything.

I'm the same way with GPs, I will avoid them at all costs unless I'm literally at deaths very doorstep or my asthma kicks in - haven't yet found a herbal remedy for that. I hate getting the lurgy.

Here, have some should make you feel brighter!

*Decides to do runebinding for you this evening on return from work*



Yep, just call me Mystic Meg

Here you go, a nice cheesy joke to cheer you up:

Q) What did the fish say when it swam into a wall?

A) DAMN!

Just had to be a childhood trauma at the bottom of this, didn't it? Well, they're probably marginally less dead too, than they would've been if they had died outside of hospital...

to you, carrot.

sucks to the ass-mar, eh?

I've got a joke! There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says, 'Boy, it's hot in here' and the other muffin gasps, 'A talking muffin!'

Muahahahaha

Here's another supremely cheesy joke:

Three pieces of string go to the Pub. The first piece of string goes upto the bar:

String 1 - "'Scuse me mate, any chance of a drink over here?"
Barman - "Sorry, we don't serve string in here"
The string shambles back to his mates, disheartened and plonks himself down on a stool.

The second piece of string, somewhat more robust than the first, decides to take his chances at the bar:

String 2 - "Oi you! Bartender! Get me a drink!"
Barman - "I've already told your mate, we don't *serve* string in here! Now get lost!"

The second piece of string returns to the table, spoiling for a fight and muttering various obscene things about the barman.

The third piece of string, the smart one of the bunch has a bright idea:

String 3 - "Leave this to me guys, I'll sort it out"

He leaves the table looking rather pleased with himself and goes into the gents where he proceeds to roll around on the floor, curl himself up and arrange himself into a rather untidy knot. He returns to the bar:

String 3 - "'Scuse me barman, can I get a round of drinks please?"
Barman - "You look strangely like a piece of string to me, we don't serve string in here...."
String 3 - "Are you accusing me of being a piece of string sir?"
Barman - "Well, you are a piece of string aren't you?"
String 3 - "No, I'm a frayed knot."

A duck walks up to a bar and says
"Got any bread?"
The bartender says "no"
So the duck says "Got any bread?"
"no"
"Got any bread?"
"no"
"Got any bread?"
"no"
"Got any bread?"
"no!"
"Got any bread?"
"no!"
"Got any bread?"
"NO!"
"Got any bread?"
"NOOO!"
"Got any bread?"
"Look if you ask me that one more time I will nail your beak to the bar."
"Got any nails?"
"No."
"Got any bread?"

muahahahaha. cheesiness to share.

The interesting thing is that the exact same joke exists in Norway, only it involves a rabbit and some carrot cake...

*wheeze* wow.

I see.

Do you now? *raiseseyebrows*

*looks inscrutable*