h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Don't you love me any more ?

Course I do... I'm just out of my tree on Opium patches and agony a.t.m. Jack.

I thought you'd left me for another Sword.

Got nothing to say but misery... and can't actually "sit" for too long mate. Busy trying to get in some home help, and keeping the kids heads reassured that I amn't going to be a crip for much longer.


Horrible feeling I *will* be a Crip from here on in - can't move atall without intense pain - and its weakening me to th extent I can't DO much

Don't feel I'm really fit company to be much but a bloody misery really - but I *have* wondered if you came first in your Salle D'arms at the weekend?

If you need help, my Lady, I'm your man.

Battered the son of a bitch ! it was first to ten points per match, three matches. 10-0, 10-0, he was fined three points for unsporting conduct, I was presented with additional points for the opposite. Final score was 25 to minus 3 ! Thought of you all the way through. a Knight needs a lady to champion, otherwise, what's the point ?

How are you feeling right now ? Don't even consider the cripple option- ain't gonna happen XXX

effing dreadful
(Glad you came first)

If you want a complete "history" you'd best [email protected], because its a long long story and I'm a private sort of person.

Help?
Jack, I need an effing miricle. I'm in pain, I can't get any help in the house, I have two frightened teenagers who are worried sick about me and are too macho to know how to deal with stuff. All my local friends are either over 60 or "Diabled" (Got no prob with being a Crip - Ian Dury was one and he did alright. Crips are cool. Its only bits of body that arn't working, not the important bit like the brain or soul) and
god help me, they're civilised...gentle, and all dithery old dears. Real sweethearts but not fierce enough to be able to get Social Services into gear. And I'm too tired to do anything any more.

The pain relief is up to the max, I'm borasic lint and too confused to think clear.

Appreciate the offer mate, but I fail to see how you can do anything except for keep me virtual comapny.... I love the idea of a champion. I've been one to every other sinner all my life. A champion for a couple of weeks until I can get straight would be wonderful.

But this is real life, we;re talking about! Stuff like that never happens - nly in fillums

Can you REALLY get a minus score in fencing? I didn't pick THAT up in the book I read over the weekend!

Whatever it takes. If I can, I will. You just have to say. Will use the Email as soon as.

I can see the boy's point of veiw- must be confusing, and one of the easiest ways of dealing is pretend it isn't there, in the hopes it will go away. We all do it at sometime or other.

A lot of fillums are based on real life (let's face it, if it wasn't for the War or the New York Police Department, we'd have nothing to watch)so perhaps it's time real life was based on films.

The million-to-one chance crops up nine times out of ten...

Indiana XXX

You've read too many Pratchett books!

But the idea of a million to one chance coming true'd be great.

Bring your own sword.

And I can quite understand where the lads are coming from. We've ALL ignored stuff hoping it'll go away. Even *I* have, on very rare occaisions.

Most of my life reads like a book as it is.

Time to start a new chapter and possibly find a happy ever after ending I think.

Will have to sign off soon. One I physically hurt, and two I've got to get back on the phone and chase people/doctors, etc

I'll be your bookmark. There when you need it, ready to turn the page. I have something in common with books

you're prepared to live on a dusty bookshelf?

Jack, you deserve far better than that!

I have a spine.

Besides, some books sit by your bed until you need them. When you reach for them, they're there

I forgot that small fact - spines are feirce usefull on occasions

(and yess, you CAN hear an Irish intonation in there somewhere)

Silly me, forgetting about spines... must be the medication...

Ah ! you return ! In some competitions and matches, the points system can be anything you want, and in many there can be negative points. Ususally depends on the Salle .

How are you now,my Love ?

Much the same... One of my dear old dears is grappling with the hoover
(its bigger than her, bless her and giving her immense trouble. I feel so incrediably guilty feeling narked at the fact that she hasn't figured out where to put the hose yet - and no, no funny intended, as ridiculous as the scene is painted...an old dear of 74 SHOULDN'T have to fend for anyone. I know she wants to, BUT)

Wendy the Witch has done a whistle stop visit. Lucky mare is still smoking. I stopped 2 months ago. If I weren't so stubborn I'd start again.

Son number 2 has just got in from school.

Son no 1 swept out 2 or 3 hours ago....

He said he's buy me a chicken kebab.... I'm bloody starving!!!!

Never mind, it can only get better. I can take the last dose of paracetamols (all the additional I can take with the Opium ppatches)
in another coupla hours, and then turn in for the night.

They might answer the phone tomorrow, if I start calling early enough.

Does fnecing have differnet "schools"? I seem to remeber that term from some book I read?

Yes, Fnecing, or Fencing as it is more commonly known nowadays (gonna pay for that...)follows several basic patterns. The French, Italian, Spanish, German, and English schools. Now, modern fencing tends to follow the French model, but elements of the other schools are incorporated. The other schools are considered to be archaic; The German Style favours heavier blades, The spanish followed (until it became impractical) an almost Euclidean mathematics in foot movement and stance until it became a science in itself (see The Mask Of Zorro)and the Italian was very similar to the french. Historically, they all have their places, but the french is deemed the purer for modern sport fencing. The clubs I have attended lean more towards the combat aspects, hence the scoring. Many fencing masters and captains follow directly, or incorporate aspects of, the other schools, hence each has his own style, which is passed to the student, who then developes his own personal style subsequently, incorporating elements he in turn
discovers. And the circle turns ! Therefore, You can spot a master through his pupil, if you know him and know what to look for (like in painting), but fencers are rarely alike. The Japanese systems of fencing (also my interest) Kenjutsu, Iaido, and the sport version, Kendo also have similar styles and schools, and again, no two are alike. They are as unique as



You X

Good Morning, My Sweet one

Morning Jack

Was going to do a reply last night about the types of fencing schools - there's a special name for the German sword, isn't there? A "-schlang-something"?... read it years ago, but the term didn't stick. Apparently duelling scars from these particular weapons were quite fashionable with Prussion soldiers in the 1800s, if they're the same thing you were referring to.

And.... Sorry bout the typo... dyslexia rules KO.That and what I refer to as "sausagefingers"

I suppose I could also claim I had a cloggy nose - I admit to grizzling a lot yesterday. It happens sometimes and I hate it

Wendy the Witch called around after Doris the Sweet had hoovered... Wendy cleaned up the kitch for me (Son number one rolled in with a massive Chicken kebab for me eventually) and I trawled purse and knicker leg for enough cash for a bottle of vodka and some tonicto share with her. Not the lads.

So I slept very well last night and after I've breakfasted I shall start the round of phone calls to get the PTB off their bums.

How are you? Whats the day have in store for you?

PS... I'm def'nitly oon-i-kew. There' only one like me - the mould got broken after I were hatched

(Much to mother's relief!)

Ein Schlanger, bitte ? Wier wollen sie ? I have the impression of somebody sitting with a book of fencing, trying to catch me out... ?

The sword in question has sharp edges on the forte, but a blunt point for scar duelling, as per Heidelberg and The Student Prince. It was developed from a heavier weapon called a Sciavona. Although yopu probably knew that too.

Nein liebling, Ich bin not ge-sitting hier mit book trying to catch you out atall... Ich bin ein compulsive reader of well researched historical novels,

honestly.

Heidleberg and the Student Prince was what I was trying to refer to, (I think) Once you've read all the Flasmen novels, and most of the Richard Sharp series, etc etc, it's amazing the information that sticks in the hindbrain.

And strangley enough, I was reading a novel by a bloke called CC Humphreys over the weekend... and his particular passion and interest in RL as well as in his books was sword play and fencing. The final odd co-incidence was that the novel was called Jack Absolute - after a charactor in one of Sheriden's plays!

And then along comes you with a passion for fencing, and interest in Haiku (have just finished reading a huge batch of books on the culture of Geisha - that was last month. I go in fits and starts of reading material)

No.. I'm not checking up on you... merely trying to fill in gaps in my education from someone who knows more than me.

(And I thought *I* was paranoid!)

S'OK - I have a shrewd inkle of how you may feel. Its a case of "Christ! Do they REALLY know what I'm talking about... or are they taking the piss? Is that close?

I amn't taking the mick. May not be able to do much physically, and am crap at flirting, but I amn't taking the mick

(Re the Aikido. I KNOW about Aikido - the boy's father used to defend himself very vigourouly against me. On a fairly regular basis.
I don't know what the nerve points in the hands are CALLED, but by god I know the holds bloodywell hurt when you have them held on you Jack)

I am saying far more than I wish to on a public forum about my knowledge of stuff.

Then Don't. Nobody else needs to know. My art is called Ninjitsu, but is not the only one I do. My Interest in fensing comes from my fathers. Mine fenced, as did his, his, his, etc. back to the time when it was a way of life. My clan and sept have a life of service. My interest in Japan (including it's martial skills, comes from my great grandfather, who was himself Japanese, of a minor samurai family, and although I tend to resemble my Celtic ancestors, his spirit moves in me. He married my great grandmother, parents of my paternal grandmother, at a time when it was a scandal for both sides, although the Celts -samurai in their own right- of my family welcomed him with open arms, judging the man rather than his race. Romance conquers all.