h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

this is my personnal statement for my ucas form.. have you any ideas how i can make it better?



I have wanted to take a biology-related course at university for a very long time. I am fascinated and passionate about the whole subject because, to me, it seems like a voyage into a new and magnificent microscopic dimension. I am amazed at just how much can happen in the tiny capacity of a cell, and how each tiny individual reaction is of equal importance to the success of the organism. I find fascinating the concepts introduced in DNA study, where simple changes in the nitrogenous base patterns can cause incredible differences between organisms, and I think it is astounding that so much information can be contained in such a tiny yet economical way.

Another motivating factor in doing a degree stems from my work experience. First I worked at Vision Express Opticians because I was interested in discovering what it would be like working in a medical related environment. Over four weeks I learned how to use vision pre-testing machines and eye pressure-testing machines, how to carry out vision-field tests and how to make prescription spectacles, as well as observing a number of eye tests and contact lens trials. I really enjoyed this experience, but found it fairly repetitive and thought I should explore the prospects in a hospital environment. To this end I was very lucky to have been given the opportunity to work in the Bradford Royal Infirmary Opthalmology Department, where I was able to sit in on a number of consultations and I learned a lot about cataracts and the effects of diabetes on eyes as well as a lot about patient handling. I found it very interesting, and felt I would very much like to pursue wider opportunities that a more general biological course might have to offer, especially as my interests in biology include several other specialisms, like genetics and stem cell investigation.

I believe I have good people skills. I was elected the personnel director in a Young Enterprise company in which I smoothed out many arguments. I am also very good with my hands and I was one of the principal designers and makers of the original handmade beaded jewellery the Young Enterprise Company produced. I thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience, from the production line to buying and selling to compiling company reports and I sampled every aspect of running a business. I was delighted at the end of the year to have been awarded ‘Young Enterprise Best Achiever’ in the Leeds area.

I am a team player, and have a sense of humour. In this regard I took part in an ‘Insight into Management’ course, which involved creating a new advertising campaign for Nestlé’s Polo Mints and participation in the ‘Metal Box’ game.

I also enjoyed the social service aspect of the Duke of Edinburgh Award in which I went to a local Asian primary school and helped in a class of 7 year olds. This was a particularly rewarding experience as I was able to help the teachers with the more disruptive children. On my last day, I was touched when one of the dyslexic children gave me a homemade card and said I was one of the few visitors who bothered to spend time with him and he was very sad to see me go.

I have a number of hobbies and interests. I love to play the cello (I am a member of the City of Leeds Youth Orchestra) and I also sing alto in a choir. I have gone on a number of music tours to Australia, New Zealand, Hungary, the Czech Republic, Slovakia and France. Visiting these countries broadened my understanding of the world and other cultures and I made many new friends. My musical taste is broad, from classical to jazz, rock and indie.

I am an avid reader of humorous sci-fi such as Douglas Adams’ ‘Hitch-Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’, science books (I recently read a book about the evolution of the human genome and found it riveting), poetry and modern fiction. I also like to write poetry.

I am a keen walker, prepared to tackle equally the gentler routes of the Yorkshire Dales or the rigours of the Samarian Gorge in Crete. I found the expedition and survival aspect of the Duke of Edinburgh Award particularly satisfying.

I am computer literate and help my mother with the book keeping of her small business and was a school librarian for a number of years. I fund my social life with pocket money from doing a local newspaper round and great deal of babysitting.

I am a hard worker, but I play hard too.

Your personal tutor is the best person to ask, they helped me a lot with mine Looks good to me
although in your interest in biology you seem to focus a lot on microbiology. I mean last year in my biology course we didnt even do a whole unit on microbiology. The biggest topics were Physiology and cell and molecular biology (both 2 units each) and medical microbiology was only part of the cell and molecular module. We also had to do parisitology and biodiversity.
(Im doing combined honours thus did 6 units biology and 6 units enviro science). Looks great though GeNe better than my PS lol

sounds good. A few things:

Paragraph 2:
To this end I was very lucky to have been given the opportunity to work in the Bradford Royal Infirmary Opthalmology Department, where I was able to sit in on a number of consultations and I learned *a lot* about cataracts and the effects of diabetes on eyes as well as *a lot* about patient handling.
The "a lot" is a bit repetative. Maybe you could change one to a synonym.

I found it very interesting, and felt I would very much like to pursue wider opportunities that a more general biological course might have to offer, especially as my interests in biology include several other specialisms, like genetics and stem cell investigation.
specialisms? I may not be aware of local language, but unless that's a word that's widely used I would change it.

paragraph 6:
My musical taste is broad, from classical to jazz, rock and indie.
comma after rock?


Other than that? It's really interesting. v well written. There's probably some other stuff that could stand fixing, but I'm not necessarily the best person to ask. Someone in RL would help a lot.

V.good panther lady. Its well written and you seem comfortable with your strengths and weaknesses. One thing, "I find facinating the ......" maybe rephrase this to "I find the concepts of........facinating"

Thanks everyone... im working on it...