h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Entry: Shop-Assistant Subtext - A937226
Author: breakfastlunchandtea - U215790

This is meant to be mainly humorous but the point about extended warranties is a serious one.

Speaking as a shop assistant -


Give me some time and I'll prolly come up with a bunch of my own

I'm a shop assistant as well (part-time and I hate it) and whilst I agree with some of them, the last one is particuarly unfair. Half the time, it is what is on the shelves is what is in the shops, there's not a huge warehouse hidden away in most shops. Anyway, here's one for you to add (perhaps)-
[after lengthy explanation of product] "so..." (are you going to buy anything numbnuts, I've been here for half a bleeding hour!)
Oberon2001

OK fair enough, I think I worked in a shop with a particularly twisted attitude to customer service!

Hello again!
Just wondered if you've thought about submitting this to <./>ThePost</.>? It's quite humourous, so has a good chance of getting in.
Oberon2001

Are you putting this in AWW when you're done with it here? I'm sure the underguide might consider maybe almost including it in the as of now inexistant unofficial guide.

Those are good odds!

Customer: "Do have a copy of Black Sabbath play Beethoven's Greatest Hits?"
Assistant: "I'm sorry, we don't."
Customer: "Do you know who else might have it?"
Assistant: "You could try Megadiscs."

Subtext: There are 15 cd stores in this town. Any of the other 14 *might* have it... any cd store in the whole damn country might have it, but I don't work at those stores, I work at this one and consequently I don't have a clue what they have in stock. Why don't you bloody well talk to them instead of wasting my time with stupid questions?

Customer: How do you know if a piece of fruit is fresh?
Shop Asst: You squeeze it

Subtext, "How should I know? If you want to know how to check if fruit is fresh, ask someone beforehand. Next time come prepared! Get it together."