h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

When living in a shared house, you can't get annoyed with every little thing, as this creates a bad atmosphere.

So somebody's left a dirty plate by the sink overnight - as long as there's another clean plate for you to use, what's the problem? If it bothers you that much, and you're doing your own washing up, why not just do that extra plate! If a housemate is storing all the plates in dirty pile in their room however, it's time to have a polite word.

Somebody keeps leaving their shoes under the table - and? They're not in your way, if you need to put feet under the table just move them aside! Neatly. Just because somebody's left something in the way of an area you want to use, doesn't give you an excuse to disrespect their property.

There's no loo roll left - you can get a pack for 30p from Tescos! Just pick one up while you're out shopping! If you always end up buying it or you're really skint, I should think it's perfectly okay to stick a note up saying "we're out of loo roll and I'm too skint to get any - could someone get some please".

The thing to differentiate is - whether something is offensive to the general populace or just to you. You may not like their style of music, but unless they're playing it at levels that would annoy anybody, then it's just a matter of personal tastes, and you should allow them their happiness.

If something's offending you personally, maybe you have to chill out. If something's offending everybody, it's time to have a word with the perpetrator. If they all offend you - you're in the wrong house!


Q

Sometimes I think a rota of duties for the chores of the place can be a bit formal and rigid as well as being viewed in terms of a strong indication that standards are slipping in the living area and some folks are not happy about it. Consequently, friction may surface at the hint (particularly if someone fails to do their bit when it is their turn! ). Sometimes it can be difficult to keep up with the rota due to circumstances changing like, for instance, with being detained somewhere. So often it can be useful if the place is a mess (as in terms of washing-up or vacuuming etc.) and *you* have a bit of sparetime to clean-up in a spontaneous call to duty. Trust me, once you've started, it won't take long at all & (best yet) everyone will smile and thank-you for doing the job. Then you can glow with satisfaction for being so responsible.
Remember: a sink full of dirty dishes is not a crisis!

A rota of duties probably works best if it is collectively scripted & agreed upon afterward so that no-one is resentful at the initiative & is therefore more likely to stick to it.

I disagree with the "chill out" philosophy. I don't mind buying the toilet paper a couple times, but when it happens repeatedly, then on principle I refuse to buy it anymore. Yeah, you're right, I can afford it. But so can everyone else. Yeah, it's not that much extra time. But it isn't that much extra time for anyone else either. Any argument you can make for why "I" should buy the toilet paper, can equally well be applied to the others who aren't buying the paper. So then it comes down to laziness.

So, what I do is get my own. This applies in general to common supplies. Eventually, someone else will buy the item (paper), because they're going to be stuck in a situation where they need it, and it isn't there.

Also, about the dishes. Everytime I've lived with people, and there hasn't been some sort of understanding about not leaving dishes in the sink, the sink has ALWAYS ended up filled to the top with dishes, making it unusable until someone decides to work through the pile. I once had a situation where the sink was always full of dirty dishes, and in fact, we never had clean dishes. To get around this difficulty, I would take a dirty plate from the sink, wash it, use it, and then put it back in the sink. This is exactly the same as if I had taken a clean plate, used it, washed it, and put it back in the cupboard. I didn't increase the number of dirty plates, and I got to use the kitchen.

I didn't think of that, Captain!
I s'pose if it does take place over a long period of time, one person may end up carrying the disproportionate onus of all the household chores or purchase of commonly used perishable goods which, of course, is just plain unfair & purely frustrating. In which case, a rota may clarify the situation & make all residents wise of the situation.

yeah, it's happened a couple times. Then again, there's plenty of time where its been fine. What does "rota" stand for? rotation?

I agree people shouldn't take the p*ss, and would certainly advise having words if they do!

But you can't let yourself get annoyed with small things all the time!


Q

I agree with the chill out policy... the more things you can get upset about, the worse the relationship will be.

For instance, one apartment I shared with a friend, we agreed to share the expenses at something roughly approximating 50-50, but we refused to stay too close to that line. For instance, we'd make our shopping trips together. We'd both just grab whatever we wanted off the shelf and throw it in, even if it was stuff we wouldn't be sharing: shampoo, snacks the other didn't care for, whatever. Let's say the bill came to $92. We'd both check our wallets, and maybe he has nothing but $20s and a couple singles, but I've got some $20s and a $10 in my wallet. So I'd hand him $50 for my half of the groceries. He might offer to buy my first beer when we go out later that night. He might not. Who cares? It's only $4.

that system is good, when it works. I think you have to be good friends with your roomate to do that.

Everything is easier if you're good friends!