h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

In one of William Gibsons books' there is a bloke who wrote 'Milk Experiment' on his carton of milk in order to prevent his housemates helping themselves...

I always thought this was a good idea although I never had to try it out.

Go communal on , everyone uses it for , and a bowl of cereal a day. Although I might start a experiment...

Hmm - you could try this; get one of those large urine sample bottles (they're sterile when you first open them - don't worry!), put your beer/milk/drink of choice in there.

Then, make a sticky label with a supposed hospital number on the front. Make another convincing looking label with '24 Hour Urine Collection', or 'Semen Sample', or 'Culture Medium' on it. Put these on the bottle.

Put bottle in fridge - no one will touch it. In fact, you might free up a whole fridge shelf in this way...

I've never been forced to use this method - thankfully, everyone buys their own milk

I was a biochemist at uni when sharing a house: my milk was the one with biohazard stickers all over it One friend put a few drops of blue food colouring in his milk: it didn't change the taste, but it pretty much stopped it disappearing. He said he quite liked his tea that colour (and the scrambled eggs were vaguely green).

I have to point out two very apposite recent parodies: "Clean the Toilet", to the tune of "Drop the Pilot" by Joan Armatrading (http://www.amiright.com/parody/80s/joanarmatrading0.shtml) and "Fat Housemate" to the tune of "Cecilia" by Simon and Garfunkel (http://www.amiright.com/parody/70s/simongarfunkel0.shtml) as they're very funny... and for a change, I didn't write them.

Phil

I put my icecream in a paperbag marked "tofu" in the freezer... worked like a charm! My vegitarian friend gave me the idea at boarding school.