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What an entry!
Amanda Started conversation Jan 23, 2003
Very good.
I like the way you mentioned us all in there.
I must update my profile.
I am trying to dismiss the idea of an afterlife, hard though.
Saw a ghost today.
there it is again.
I can't remember what I was going to say so I will go now.
Amanda
hurray!
%- | ? Posted Jan 24, 2003
i had to mention my favorite THINKERS
when i saw your entry with the shout out to PeteY, i was to death!
did you see a real ghost today?
hey, when did you crash and become all again?
too bad, my HEDONIC set point theory is true. i wish it wasn't
do you buy it
i don't think annie hasselfree buys it.
btw, how is YOUR hedonic set point?
and, let's get started with CBT!
peteY out
hurray!
Amanda Posted Jan 25, 2003
Unfortunately I did not see a no.
I believe I may have in the past though.
I did crash but am back up a little now. Not so
I do not know where my set point is to be exact.
But it is lower than I would like it to be. Your question as to how it is, is very difficult to answer.
Regards CBT, I am ready when you are.
Should I be scared?
Amanda out
no fear!
%- | ? Posted Jan 25, 2003
amanda.
hey, i'm about to go workout now. i'll be back in a hour or 2.
i'm oncall tonight AND tomorrow night
hey, i changed my name to "?" it's supposed to be like, "wonder"
i was also considering these two names "Bloody HELL" and "F**k it."
however, those might not fly well with the editors
let us get started with CBT.
first, a bit of education.
situations lead to automatic thoughts, which lead to emotions
emotions are the easiest thing to identify.
automatic thoughts are not so easy b/c they are automatic [taken for granted as truth]
AT's are founded on deeper beliefs.
there is a hierarchy of beliefs, the hierarchy based on how deep the belief is [how unshakeable] and how global the belief is.
CORE beliefs are the most rigid, global, and can be either neg or positive.
negative core beliefs contribute to depression
core beliefs are of 3 types
about you
about others/the world
about the future
negative depressogenic core beliefs are
I am unlikeable/unloveable.
others do not like me. the world sucks. life's a bitch.
the future will always suck. nothing will change.
so, my first question is what are your predominant MOOD states?
sad?
anxious?
irritable?
angry?
happy?
blah?
more later!
? out
no fear!
Amanda Posted Jan 25, 2003
Well, I do not always know.
Stupid people make me irritable.
People with no brains for themselves. People who are self centred.
Someone asking me questions that seem to have no bearing on anything, makes me irritable.
To quote some one????? "I do not suffer fools gladly"
no fear!
%- | ? Posted Jan 26, 2003
you'd be and all day long if you had to do what i had to do
ok, how about this?
1. what is your self-concept? the idea that you have about yourself. it is shaped by how you think others think of you.
i think you'd mentioned that other people think you are "strange", "sad" [as in pathetic?], and "boring".
are these large parts of your self-concept?
2. is your self-concept stable? or does it fluctuate, depending on what happens to you?
3. what are some positive aspects of yourself?
4. what things would you like to change about yourself?
5. if you could have 3 things right now...anything...what would they be? [we ask this question to kids a lot]
ok, i'll stop there so you don't get overwhelmed and scared
? out
no fear!
Amanda Posted Jan 26, 2003
My self concept is this..
I am lesser than my peers. I am not as 'useful' or talented as they are.
I know for a fact that others do not see me this way. They tell me I am confident, good with the children, organised, good at my job, a good friend, etc etc.
BUT I can not see what they see.
I think I think others see of me what I see of me. Make sense?
My self-concept fluctuates.
Sometimes, I know I am ok. Confident etc, but other times I could sit and cry about how useless and pathetic I am.
Positive Aspects.
I am friendly.
I have a sense of humour.
I am physically Strong.
I am logical.
I can work on my own initiative.
I have a brain that works.
I am a good listener.
I like helping people.
I would like to change my body
I would like to change my outlook on things.
I know I am quite lucky and have all the things I would want for myself, but I just get so confidence less, that I think I dont have them. (I am talking crap now)
If I could have three things...
Lots of money
A degree
The body of a godess
Amanda out
I feel better already.
excellent! petey's proud!
%- | ? Posted Jan 26, 2003
you--My self concept is this..
I am lesser than my peers. I am not as 'useful' or talented as they are.
I know for a fact that others do not see me this way.
I think I think others see of me what I see of me. Make sense?
me--kind of. ok, i'm fine now.
good thing my name isn't still "i THINK", then you woulda written, "i think, i think i think..."
there IS a certain ILlogic to your statements in that you first tell me that you "know for a fact" that others don't see you as useless, etc...yet later on, you say that you "...think others see..." you as useless, lesser, etc...
but, i come across this a lot.
intellectually, you believe something positive b/c that's what the evidence seems to suggest but emotionally, you don't really believe in it and you don't know why you don't believe it...
my take is that you have deeper beliefs that fuel/support your idea that you are lesser and useless, so that even if you have apparent substantial evidence that you are not lesser, you still believe "deep down" that you are.
the key is to get down to this deeper beliefs. first, we must identify them. and then we have to look at them critically and see how accurate they are. probably not at all.
something global about your self-concept seems to be the negative belief that you are inferior in every or nearly every aspect of life.
is this true
this is not a CORE belief, strictly speaking, but it IS a deep seated and pervasive belief with potential for much psychological damage.
MORE QUESTIONS:
1. have you EVER been confident in your usefulness and abilities to perform?
2. can you think of any evidence that supports your feelins of inferiority/uselessness?
you--My self-concept fluctuates.
Sometimes, I know I am ok. Confident etc, but other times I could sit and cry about how useless and pathetic I am.
me--those times when you sit and cry about how pathetic you are , CAN YOU REMEMBER WHAT THINGS YOU WERE THINKING ABOUT? AND CAN YOU REMEMBER WHAT SITUATIONS LEAD YOU TO DO THAT SORT OF THING[SIT AND CRY]? IS IT WHEN SOMETHING BAD HAPPENS?
YOU--Positive Aspects.
I am friendly.
I have a sense of humour.
me--i've noticed. cool
you--I am physically Strong.
me--really? HOW strong? i can press 120 lb dumbbells in each hand
you--I am logical.
me--i've noticed that, too
I can work on my own initiative.
you--I have a brain that works.
me-- plus, i'm presuming that you have fully functional cardiovascular, respiratory, gastrointestinal, integumentary, reproductive, and endocrine systems...
I am a good listener.
I like helping people.
you--I would like to change my body
me--i think 99+ % of the population would like to change their bodies, if they were omnipotent.
but, for you, is this something that really bothers you?
you--I would like to change my outlook on things.
me-- CBT can do that
you--I know I am quite lucky and have all the things I would want for myself, but I just get so confidence less, that I think I dont have them. (I am talking crap now)
me--what kinds of things do you know you have but DON'T think you have?
you--If I could have three things...
Lots of money
me--nobody has enough money
you--A degree
me--you're working on this, aren't you?
you--The body of a godess
me--like Nike or Aphrodite?
is this a real wish? if so, is this an impossible goal?
oh, and define "body of a goddess"
you--I feel better already.
me-- really? if so, killer!
peteY out!
excellent! petey's proud!
Amanda Posted Jan 26, 2003
I am not inferior. But sometimes feel I am.
I think I have been confident yes.
I was confident at school.
Also I managed an amateur radio station, and I was confident then ( I must have been to do it)
I am confident when I am with kids at work.
There is no evidence to support my thoughts of uselessness.
I am competent at my job.
I have a brain,
I have secured a uni place,
I am mad!
I normally sit and cry if I am experiencing a depressive state.
I have not actually done this for some time, when I do do it, I suppose I am thinking about how I might have upset my family by my moodiness and then this manifests itself into feelings of inadequacy. (I cant spell either)
I can not lift 120lb's per hand! wow! I am only a little(ish) lady.
I have not tried to find my maximum weight, I tend to work with 7kg weights. Dunno how many pounds that is. Not many.
I know I have coinfidence, but will feel I have no confidence at times.
I know I have intelligence but often feel maybe I am a little thick.
I dont truly want the body of a goddess.
A nice small waist and toned butt would suffice.
I have not had time to go to the gym lately so I am feeling less happy with myself for this reason.
I have decided to go every morning before work. (Well to try to)
I think I will fell better then.
I am hoping to get myself to go in a minute to the gym.
Amanda out.
excellent! petey's proud!
%- | ? Posted Jan 26, 2003
Nice to hear when you ARE confident.
you seem to be capable to me
When are you NOT confident?
Can you think of WHAT you would like to be useful for?
what is it that you feel as if you are failing in? what aspect of life?
Are you the only one in your family with depression?
Everybody has fluctuating levels of confidence and stuff.
It is only when these flucuations are too dramatic and too dependent on what is happening to them that they start to become problematic.
You are a little(ish) lady? You are 5' 8" so you cannot be that small. What is your BMI, approximately?
Have a nice workout!
? out
excellent! petey's proud!
Amanda Posted Jan 26, 2003
I Dread to think what my BMI is.
When I said Little, I meant non musculur.
I am not confident at interviews and such.
Or in exams.
My sister has recently been diagnosed with depression. She finished with a long term fiance at new year and this triggered it off.
My Workout was good.
I feel better for it. Lots of endorphins flying around my system
Amanda
hi KESS!
%- | ? Posted Jan 27, 2003
greetings
how long have you been on h2g2?
i just joined a few weeks ago.
so, you're extremely ? killer. there's no such thing as too weird!
and, i totally agree...things out to get you or definitely BAD!
and i'm sure this will be of great use to you sometime in the future
http://zapatopi.net/afdb.html
when, i read that you were into archeology, i got excited for a moment, b/c i thought you wrote arnold schwarzengger!
oh, and, i too, HATE ! well, it's not that i HATE 'em really, they just scare the bejeezus outta me!
peteY out!
my whole family's depressed
%- | ? Posted Jan 27, 2003
i can figure out your BMI and not tell you, to save you the psychological trauma!
all's i need is your bodyweight!
little/non muscular is GOOD for women
i don't like massive women
are you confident in social interactions/interpersonal skills?
like, at bars and stuff?
i'm not
i have self-esteem problems. people tell me i'm good-looking and sweet and all that, but i don't believe 'em
what kind of workout? 30 minutes of cardio plus weights?
i could come up with a good exercise regimen for you, if you'd like!
that's lots of fun for me
i endogenous opioids.
PeteY out.
hi KESS!
Keseral - lost... Posted Jan 27, 2003
hi,I registerd sometime in september but I dident come back on again for AGES! have you ever had a come out of your welly just b4 you put it on?
You know that picture on the smiley page (the one where they keep changing emotion), do you know if you can put that on your page?
Kess
my whole family's depressed
Amanda Posted Jan 27, 2003
Archaeology (or however you spell it) and arnold schwarzenegger (how ever you spell it) Sounds the same?
Your a nutter peteY, that's why I you.
Why do you have self esteem problems?
I know you are gorgeous, just by your personality. You are intelligent (obviously ) and I love talking to you.
Is 30mins cardio enough?
I tend to do about 45 and still can't shift my belly.
I was gonna have to make myself get up early tomorrow to go to the gym, but now I have a night off work tomorrow so I can go after work instead of before it.
I know my BMI, it's a secret as I would bever be able to look you in the face again. Although, I never actaully looked you in the face at all.
Today I am Obviously there is something wrong with me.
Amanda out
hi KESS!
%- | ? Posted Jan 28, 2003
Kess,
what's a "welly"?
i'm sure if i DID have a come out of one just before i put it on, i'd too!
i once saw a cockroach scurry along my dorm wall in college. i could not go to sleep until i found it. so, there i was, hysterical, flipping over mattresses, etc... chasing the little monster with a broom...finally killed the little abomination!
about the changing emotion smiley, i have no idea how to get that anywhere
peteY out
my whole family's depressed
%- | ? Posted Jan 28, 2003
amanda,
i think you spelled 'em both right!
and i don't think it's THAT nutty! both start with "A" and are long and hard to spell. plus, arnold's pretty damn old now. he's like an archaeological finding
i you, too!
but, how in the world can you know i am "gorgeous" by my personality?
. i love talking to you, too
my self-esteem problems stem from my childhood. my mom was messed up.
30 minutes of cardio is about the minimum for fat loss.
it helps a ton if you do it fasting, so you're burning fat and not carbs so much. so, your morning idea would actually be good
about your belly, um... just how many flap jaks do you usually eat?
come on! tell me your BMI! mine is around 30-ish, but i'm rock hard muscle. i'm humble, too
how about you just tell me how much you weigh
and i promise i won't calculate your BMI
i'm glad you're today.
i was a bit last night. not sure why?
peteY out!
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What an entry!
- 1: Amanda (Jan 23, 2003)
- 2: %- | ? (Jan 24, 2003)
- 3: Amanda (Jan 25, 2003)
- 4: %- | ? (Jan 25, 2003)
- 5: Amanda (Jan 25, 2003)
- 6: %- | ? (Jan 25, 2003)
- 7: Amanda (Jan 25, 2003)
- 8: %- | ? (Jan 26, 2003)
- 9: Amanda (Jan 26, 2003)
- 10: %- | ? (Jan 26, 2003)
- 11: Amanda (Jan 26, 2003)
- 12: %- | ? (Jan 26, 2003)
- 13: Keseral - lost... (Jan 26, 2003)
- 14: Amanda (Jan 26, 2003)
- 15: %- | ? (Jan 27, 2003)
- 16: %- | ? (Jan 27, 2003)
- 17: Keseral - lost... (Jan 27, 2003)
- 18: Amanda (Jan 27, 2003)
- 19: %- | ? (Jan 28, 2003)
- 20: %- | ? (Jan 28, 2003)
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