h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You should probably do it at RCO, Skugga. Put something in to defeat the spambots. You can leave it in the PowWow or the Notes if you want. Or you could simply direct a message to [email protected]. (Remove the no & spam.)

Analiese,I just bow in front of you, because what you say just explains how unbelievably silly the reasons for the war taking place are.

Well, Skugga, you can count yourself among the more insightful people here since that was my intention from the beginning, but sometimes you need to put things in a different context to make certain things more clear.

Also, I am trying to promote my own not very secret agenda of publicizing American native rights issues, but that's probably subordinate to the rights of the world's people right now.

News Reflash or Very Bright Blinking: Analiese, the Army of One, just announced additional terms of surrender for the United States govenment, in addition to the sort of routine unconditional surrender. The government in addition to vacating the Great Basin along with all the taipos must remove the nuclear waste at the Yucca Mountain National Sacrifice Area within 10 days.

The government must also settle claims with victims that were sacrificed to the national defense during the mining of the uranium that's mostly now being stored at Yucca Mountain.

Such settlements must be in cold hard, third party currency, rather than government IOUs that have hitherto been presented to the victims or their survivors. US dollars are not acceptable because they are practically worthless or soon will be. Maybe additional land cessions might be considered if they are continguous with the territory currently claimed by Analiese, the Army of One, on behalf of the Newe and related tribes.

There has been no response yet from the United States government, even under conditions of anonymity, but we suspect they will eventually capitulate after every toilet in the Whitehouse becomes hopelessly clogged.

No film at eleven, but there might be an editorial cartoon if we can find an artist who will work for nothing or at most frybread.

*hugs* wholehertedly

As a citizen of the United States, I will have to apologize for my government's complete lack on interest in your provocation. However we can perhaps pencil you in to be invaded later this century. Ahead of you on the list are N. Korea, Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia, Indonesia, Mexico, France, Germany (and anyone else who fails to keep quiet)...The Netherlands (but only if they try U.S. citizens for war crimes) ad nauseum. So as you can see we've got quite a list going, and unless you can at least be located in the vicinity of valuable raw materials we are interested in exploiting, it will be difficult to get you a decent reservation time. I will suggest however, that if you get the opportunity, perhaps you should move to a less organized nation, get a few million dollars from relatives abroad and start some schools for fanatical opposition to Western Imperialism. That could get you moved up to a stand-by slot in no time.

Now thats NEWS Analiese!
I'll work for frybread! yummy

Analiese:

I haven't seen the emperor make a public appearance in several days. I wonder why that is?

Well, Nelson, I was sort of hoping my provocation would be the proverbial straw that broke the proverbial camel's back, although I probably shouldn't mention camels right now.

As far as being on someone's list goes, I already am and have been for quite awhile. That exploitation has recently been expressed by Congressional attempts to further alienate our land into the private sector.

Consequently, the attention is ongoing. It doesn't require a special reservation, which, come to think of it, is one of the points of contention. Our reservation was more or less cancelled years ago in favor of encroachment.

Well, I'm confident, Anhaga, that the emperor must be busy with affairs of state or, as he so gallantly demonstrated in the immediate aftermath of 9/11, finding a safe place to land.

However, it might also relate to not getting too far from the bathroom. We'll probably get a clue when or if he does appear by how much weight he might appear to have lost since his last appearance.

It might be considered a good place and time to test Weapons of Magical Destruction, don't you think? I know I do and fancy that no one will dispute that given the general acclaim that such testing seems to get these days.

So you've lost your reservation, eh. Well, that is something to fight about. To bad they're trying to do away with education too in this administration. It's already affected my wife, as California colleges are cutting staff and classes and increasing tuition and fees. Hope, you're faring better in that dept. I guess if it comes to it, I'll throw in my lot with you. I've got quite a bit of firepower, none of which I will list of this website, but may be public domain information anyway for all I know. I don't have any artillery though, so you may need a few more allies before we set off. Let me know when.

Not so much lost it, Nelson, as never got it. The land's still available sort of in the public domain, forest service and BLM lands in fact, but the government refuses to incorporate those lands with miniscule reservations and colonies we did get.

Thanks for the offer of firepower, although I doubt it'll be much more help than what we've got already so don't risk anything okay?

Now, latest update from the front:

Analiese, the Army of One, with a few very fine allies now, announced she has occupied Denver, Colorado. The fact she was already there going to college not withstanding, she noted that the government so far has made no move to drive her out, which suggests they are in full retreat at this time. While the people of Denver apparently don't realize they're under occupation, you could attribute that to Analiese's humane treatment of POWs.

Meanwhile, Analiese bypassed Salt Lake City, Utah, leaving it under a state of siege so she could move her force of one quickly eastward on the road to Washington, DC. The people of Salt Lake City are also apparently unaware of their predicament, but again you can attribute that to Analiese's extremely humane siege tactics. For example, no dead donkies were flung into Temple Square to spread terror and pestilence.

She was pleased to announce that there has been no effort by the American forces to sabotage any infrastructure. Not that it matters since Analiese isn't that concerned with infrastructure at this point in the campaign, but it might make a difference later on when the government of the United States is compelled to accept defeat and needs something to help pay the bills.

Analiese is hopeful a native corporation will step forward soon to assume the responsibility for rebuilding the American communities shattered by this war. However, she hasn't received any bids yet so who knows? Maybe they consider rehabilitation of such communities into consensus oriented, sharing, and responsible self-governing entities to be totally hopeless? Could be, but again who knows?

If you're going to take the entire U.S. you will need military governors to keep order over the infrastructure after toppling the current regime, right Analiese?
If that is the case I would like to volunteer my services to keep an eye on the coast of Ca. from the Eastern Ventura County line trailing West and North up to Pfeiffer State Beach, Specifically the Cove at Pfeiffer State Beach. I think my organizational skills and natural leadership qualities could keep the surfing communities and aging artist enclaves in check without any severe disruptions in the daily life of the population. Plus, it would be nice to get on a surfboard and patrol. You know like the El Diablo reactor at Morro Bay. Great waves there in the early spring. I think it would need protection from saboteurs, and I would be willing up spend any number of hours in the water as much as would be necesary to protect Native interests.
Just let me know, okay.

Well the NDN way is to just go do it if it needs to be done. If you wait for directives or authorization, you're going to be waiting an awful long time.

Thanks for volunteering though. That's the spirit.

One big joke isn't it. so sad.

Yeah, yuk it up, Charlie. Too bad we can't get "embedded" reporters huh? Then it'd really be funny wouldn't it?

"While the people of Denver apparently don't realize they're under occupation, you could attribute that to Analiese's humane treatment of POWs"

Brillant lady.
You have magical weapons of mass instruction!

Thanks, Abbi. Glad somebody's getting it.

Now, the latest and greatest weekly more or less sort of newsflash from the front you've all been more or less sort of waiting for.

Analiese, the Army of One, announced that at the tactical level the invasion of America has stalled a little at Denver while she awaits resupply from who knows where? Her special order of camping gear from Walmart seems to be tied up in St. Louis or something due to a strike of elderly Walmart greeters. At the operational level however Analiese insists the war is on track and on schedule.

"We didn't anticipate the level of apathy that we're seeing in the bunkers. These people just refuse to fight, going on about their business as if we're not even around, but we figure it's just a ploy of some sort to distract us," Analiese declared.

She continued, "We intend to fight this war as long as it takes to win no matter what the cost, unless it exceeds our monthly personal expense budget, then we'll just put it off for awhile until our finances catch up with our aspirations, unlike the otherside who insist on spending their great great grandchildren's allowances before they even have great great grandchildren. It's a great strategy if you can find enough suckers to buy into it. Wish we could."

"We noticed Rumsfeld is busy threatening the Iranians now which means he's probably scared shitless of us. I think we've got him on the run for sure," Analiese said in closing the news conference.

We'll keep you more or less sort of up to date on this more or less sort of fast breaking set of historical moments as they happen more or less sort of.

Maybe all the 'white people' here would like to read what you reliese what you really think about them. post 11,644 and 11,628 were pointed out to me.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/n2g2/interrupt?st=2&ln=n2g2&m=1&done=%2Fgroup%2Fn2g2%2Fmessage%2F11644

Didn't you try this already?

You're not going to get a date that way, Charlie.