h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i can't believe i'm the first person to post a discussion note regarding your entry! well anyway, here goes:

i love the advice, but havn't yet tried it - at least not on purpose that is. i have tried, or the situation i've been in at the time has tried some of the methods described. also i would like to add:
in order to lose a fingernail and also completely lose your sense of time - at the same time; just let the horse mouth on your watch whilst it is having a shoe fitting and then try to retrieve the subsequently stolen watch from the horses mouth in order that the horse does not swallow it, choke, die and fall on the farrier who would then sue you for loss of buisness.

i've been riding for 14 years, so getting kicked or bitten has never been a problem. The future for me looks worse (or better depending on how u look at it) as soon i will hav THE MARK, this is just like the one the vet has, no matter how layed back and gentle your horse is, as soon as the vet turns up the horse becomes a unbroken raving luny, trying to take chunks out of the poor battered vet!
u see i am about to start training to be a farrier, all i need now are small targets to stick on my clothing, just to make the horses job easyer!

Extra advice on getting yourself kicked by a donkey/mule/hinny.

These, unlike the horse, can kick sideways with any combination of legs at any time. Therefore, anywhere within reach of a leg is good enough. You may, however, find it harder to incite them to kick. Cold-blood horses (draught or heavy horses) also tend to be noticeably less ready to join in this exciting sport - but ill-fitting harness (or burrs under the cart-saddle) will sometimes persuade them to take part - and the combination of leverage and raw power that a 20+ hand Shire or Percheron can develop is truly awesome - my grandfather was kicked as an apprentice farrier. He bore the resulting mark (in the form of leg ulcers) to the day of his death nearly 60 years later.

...just another bit of serious advice:
don't try the 'twisting a stick with a loop of stirng on the end of it' trick to 'calm' a horse. most horses i've dealt with didn't like it and continue to fight it even if the stick has been twisted to the point of cutting the horses' lip off (i'm being a little sarcastic here - it never got that far). i once tried it to box a horse.
nothing worked, so in the end i said to the horse 'sod it then we'll walk the 15 miles'. 3 miles down the road the box was parked up, and guess what? ...yup the horse walked streight up the ramp, stopped, and then after a little apprehension; walked streight in to the box.
...proving beyond doubt that horses are pretty sensible creatures on the whole.

also: on the subject of 'frightened-out-of-their-skin-just-about-to-be-vetted' horses; in my experience, the horse is picking up on the owners apprehension and fear of another bill that there isn't any money left for.
...in this case, if the owner can't be bothered or hasn't time to learn about how the horse reacts psychologically; try feeding alfalfa from the day before the vet is due. also peppermints seem to work sometimes - though i'm a member of the 'don't feed sweets to horses' gang, sometimes it can be helpful, but don't make it a habbit.

(or if it's possible; loose-school the horses until it's used up all of it's pent-up energy, a couple of hours before the vet is due)

regards
ian