h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

After almost two months of Night Shifts, is it any wonder? The way I feel every time I wake up is oddly disjointed and out of synch with the rest of the world. I'm reminded of Billy Pilgrim in the novel "Slaughterhouse-Five" by Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. I haven't seen any Tralfamadorian aliens, but my perception of our time-line is a bit fractured right now.

My day begins at 4pm with the alarm going off and/or my wife coming into the bedroom to wake me. I stumble to the shower, turn it on, then rummage in the walk-in closet for my work clothes. In 30-45 minutes I'm out the door, out the garage, in my Jeep and heading for work at the plant. There's 12 hours of fun and merriment every Night Shift, some of which I've shared with y'all here. What I haven't mentioned is the massive amounts of caffeine (via coffee and a variety of energy drinks) that keeps me going. I'm at an age now where I don't have as much "natural exuberance" to make it through the long haul, so the supplements help.

This poses a small problem in timing the boosts, so that when I get home I'm not "wired for sound." I don't want to stay up during the entire daylight cycle, because working nights seems to demand more uninterrupted sleep. It's good for me to be able to spend a few moments with my wife and my child-like-thing, so I have to balance the presence with the absence. I do get to drive my daughter to school in the morning when I come in, yet that's been a bit of a struggle for her to get out the door on time without an inordinate amount of coaxing. Time with my wife consists of preparing a cup of coffee for her, talking a bit about the previous day's activities, and then letting her tuck me into bed. (She's sweet that way. Oh, and sometimes there are benefits.)

Both A--- and I have tried to set up the environment for undisturbed sleep during the day. There's an extra sheet hanging over the curtains, though the louvered blinds cut out most of the daylight. A--- has loaned me a "blinder" type mask to block any last stray rays of sunlight. I wear earplugs I get from at work, the green rounded squishy kind, and I yank the lanyard out of them so I don't have to deal with it tangling on anything. It also removes one more disturbance if I should happen to roll over on either side. We've coached our daughter to keep the TV volume down to a reasonable level, and A--- ensures any guests that come over understand the Night Shift rules.

With all this preparation, you'd think I'd never have to say, "I feel like I'm burning my candle at both ends" (IFLIBMCABE). However, here I am, feeling like I've been "pissed at and missed, shit at and hit." Hence, the title.

B4thefinalweekgoesbyinatotalblur

I did a night shift for about six months. I always lost one night's sleep a week as I screamed back onto daytime schedule for the weekends. It was horrid.

and other caffinated products.

Thank God, we're done...as of last Friday. This week we pick up our normal schedule and, guess what shift I've got this week? PM Shift. It rolls around every 5 weeks and my compatriot and I have hit it just right, walking out of the Refuel and into our PM Shift.

B4irevelinthefactitisonly8hoursofworkinsteadof12hoursoflifedrainingheck